


The Lion And The Deer

by busylittlebee



Category: GOT7
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, Fluff, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Past Relationship(s), Pining, Romance, Slow Build, Temporarily Unrequited Love, minor 2jae, smut here and there
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-26
Updated: 2018-08-25
Packaged: 2018-12-20 04:40:44
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 17
Words: 50,314
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11913414
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/busylittlebee/pseuds/busylittlebee
Summary: University AU.Choi Youngjae has many friends, lots of acquaintances and even a friend with benefits, but all he wants is to findlove.Mark Tuan is a quiet boy with a sweet smile and a very dark past who happens to stumble into his life in the most unexpected way possible.Will they be able to fix each other's broken hearts?





	1. Chapter 1

The piano keys danced under the light pressure of Youngjae’s fingers, each one following the other with utmost precision in a pleasant melody. Chopin’s _Nocturne op. 9 no. 2_ in E-flat major filled the small room as Youngjae closed his eyes, playing the piece by heart as he had done so many times before.

Room number 17 was where he could often be found whenever he needed to think or just relax for a while, away from the hustle and bustle of the university campus. Being a music major was a bigger deal than it seemed, with hundreds of sheets to learn piling up on his desk and too many sleepless nights spent in room 17 practising until his hands cramped, but Youngjae could not say he hated it. In fact, he loved it so much that he could not imagine himself doing anything else. Music was the fuel of his life, the engine running inside him and keeping him alive. His sister introduced him to the piano when he was only three years old, and he had enjoyed it so much that he never abandoned it. He was twenty-one now and the best of his class.

The last notes of Chopin’s marvellous piece resonated in the room and gently faded into silence as Youngjae opened his eyes again, coming back to reality. The window before him showed a gloomy sky and nearly bare trees shaking in the October wind—a picture most people would dislike, but one that made Youngjae feel comfortable and warm. With a soft yawn, he took off his glasses, which he only wore whenever he practised so that his eyes would not strain, and stretched his arms out. His knuckles popped and he rubbed them, shifting his gaze from the window to his wristwatch. It was past three o’clock, so Youngjae figured he had been playing for nearly three hours straight. Suddenly, he remembered something.

“Well, crap,” he muttered under his breath, quickly picking up his stuff before rushing out of the room.

He had almost forgotten about the coffee date with Yugyeom, arranged for 3:15 in their favourite campus café. His classmate and friend would most likely be there already. After what felt like ages, Youngjae approached the café, breathless and with his face partly hidden by his thick scarf.

“Hey,” he exhaled when he stopped next to Yugyeom, “sorry I’m late. I got caught up with the piano and lost track of time, and...”

“Relax, buddy.” Yugyeom chuckled, checking his watch. “You’re not even that late, it’s only 3:17.”

“What—really?” Youngjae blinked, then struggled a bit to get rid of his scarf so he could take a look at his own watch. “Oh, I forgot it’s always five minutes ahead. Anyway, I’m sorry if I made you wait even if it was just for two minutes.”

“It’s okay, really. Shall we go in? I’m dying to have one of those hot chocolates with syrup and cream. What about you?” Yugyeom was a chocolate fanatic, as Youngjae had learned soon after meeting him a couple of years prior. He could eat everything with chocolate, probably even kimchi.

“I think I’ll just go with coffee this time,” Youngjae replied with a nod, pushing the door open.

The warm atmosphere greeted them with the unmistakeable smell of freshly made coffee and pastries, which both boys inhaled deeply. They sat at their usual table, and Yugyeom, sharp as ever, quickly turned his gaze towards the counter.

“There’s a new waiter,” he observed.

Youngjae, who had been busy trying to take off his coat whilst sitting down, turned around to spot the new face. There was a skinny boy making coffee behind the counter; hair dyed a bright red colour and skin darker than most people’s. His lips were plump and his hands steady as he handed a cup to the next customer, thanking him and telling him to enjoy his coffee. He seemed to have a foreign accent, but Youngjae could not quite place it.

Before both he and Yugyeom could realise they were staring, the waiter turned to them as he tightened the apron around his waist, giving them a lovely smile.

“I’ll be with you guys in a sec!”

Youngjae quickly turned his head away, his cheeks a bright crimson colour. Yugyeom laughed.

“Don’t laugh,” Youngjae protested, a smile creeping upon his lips. “We just got caught staring at the exotic-looking new waiter.”

“I don’t care if I’m caught staring.” Yugyeom shrugged, smile widening as the waiter approached. “If I stare it’s because I’m just curious. I don’t get why people think it’s impolite.”

“Because it looks like you’re being nosy,” Youngjae replied.

Yugyeom made a face and the waiter, whose white shirt and apron were brand new and impeccable, stopped by their table and took out a small notebook. He looked bright and energetic—he had a friendly aura that made one want to be around him.

“So what are you boys having?” he asked, pulling out a pen and glancing at Yugyeom and Youngjae with a smile.

Youngjae looked at the little tag pinned to his chest, which read ‘Bambam’. He figured it was not the boy’s real name —it was not a common Korean name at least— but it sounded quite cute.

“I’d like a hot chocolate with cream and caramel syrup, please,” Yugyeom replied with a smile that was as bright as Bambam’s. “What about you, Youngjae?”

“Just a cappuccino, please,” Youngjae said with a small nod as Bambam wrote everything down.

“Okay. Anything else? Something to eat, maybe? Let me tell you that the blueberry muffins are scrumptious. It’s a new recipe,” he said, raising his eyebrows and making a face that meant he was not going to take ‘no’ as an answer. Youngjae watched as Yugyeom agreed to have a blueberry muffin as well, and once the waiter was gone, he leaned down to get his phone out of his bag.

“Well, he sure does know how to sell stuff,” he murmured, to which Yugyeom raised an eyebrow.

“What do you mean?”

“He just convinced you to try the blueberry muffin. You don’t even like blueberries!”

Yugyeom looked like his brain was short-circuiting.

“It’s—you’re right! What am I going to do now? How did he even do it?”

Youngjae unlocked his phone, smiling to himself. He opened the file that contained his timetable and scrolled through it, checking which classes he had the next day. Fortunately, he was free for the rest of the day. Maybe he could go to the library for a bit after the coffee, if Jaebum had no more interesting plans.

“Well, you’re going to have to eat it now. Or do you want to upset the poor boy on his first day?” Youngjae smirked.

“What are you talking about? Stop picking on me.”

If Youngjae did not know better, he would say Yugyeom had fallen for Bambam instantly. However, despite being friends for a couple of years now, they had never discussed sexuality matters before, so he was not completely sure about Yugyeom’s orientation yet. He had seen his friend hanging out with both boys and girls, but had never noticed him having any inclination. It was a bit uncomfortable, though, when Yugyeom assumed Youngjae was heterosexual and tried to hook him up with almost every nice girl they met. Youngjae still had not mustered up enough courage to tell him about his sexual orientation, and so he sometimes went on disappointing dates with girls he did not like. He liked to think that someday he would be able to talk about his sexuality openly with someone other than Jaebum, but it was a very private matter to him and it was honestly difficult.

The red-haired waiter brought the beverages and the muffin, placing them delicately on the table.

“There you go. Hope you enjoy it! Tell me if it’s good, will you?” he said to Yugyeom before disappearing again.

Yugyeom’s shoulders slumped.

“If I die tonight, you can keep my comic books.”

“Really? Cool.”

Youngjae carefully picked up the cup, filled to the brim with steaming coffee, and brought it up to his lips to take a tentative sip. Meanwhile, his gaze explored his surroundings—the little café, the wind playing with the orange leaves outside, the booming laugh of some first-year students that were running late to their next class. Everything seemed so in place that it was almost unsettling; he felt like being constantly alert, as if he were expecting something to shatter that peace out of the blue.

And right then, as soon as the thought sparked in Youngjae’s head, the café door opened with a soft ‘ding’. In walked a raven-haired boy in a camel coat and a striped sweater, a blue scarf wrapped around his neck and a heavy-looking bag hanging from his shoulder. He sat down in a corner, alone, and after rummaging in his bag for a few moments, pulled out a book and started reading it.

Youngjae could not take his eyes off him. He had never seen him before, which was not surprising given the size of the campus, but he almost felt personally offended by that fact. The boy was not a music major, that was for sure. He would have seen him around the faculty. Where could he be from? Sports? No, he did not look the type at all. Science? Engineering? Maybe, but most engineering students did not carry so many books around.

“Hey, the muffin’s not so bad after all,” Yugyeom mused, licking some cream and crumbs off his finger. “Youngjae, are you still with me? Earth to Youngjae, Earth to Youngjae, beep beep.”

Bambam approached the little table in the corner and the boy looked up from his book, closing it momentarily. Americano, he seemed to say. Youngjae noticed that what he was reading was a novel, though he could not tell the title from that distance.

Yugyeom cleared his throat audibly and Youngjae jumped in his seat, coming back to reality with a jolt.

“Huh? What?”

“You were so spaced out, bro. What were you looking at?” Yugyeom turned around in his seat, trying to find what had kept his friend so mesmerised.

“Nothing!” Youngjae rushed to reply, grabbing Yugyeom’s forearm and squeezing it to get his attention. “Nothing, just thinking about stuff, sorry. What were you saying?”

Yugyeom narrowed his eyes, his dark brown fringe almost covering them completely.

“Are you sure you were just thinking about _stuff_?”

“Yeah, why wouldn’t I be?”

Youngjae remained calm. He prided himself in being a good liar and he could easily deceive people whenever he needed to, though there was only one person in the world he could not fool. Thankfully, that person was not there at that moment. Yugyeom relaxed, then let out a short laugh and shrugged.

“I just thought you were staring at someone. Is there a pretty girl over there?” he whispered with excitement.

More like a pretty boy. A very pretty one.

“No, it’s not that. I thought I saw Jaebum walking by, but it wasn’t him,” Youngjae replied, shaking his head softly before continuing to drink his coffee.

“Oh, right.” Yugyeom took a sip of his chocolate as well. “By the way, how is he? I haven’t seen him around lately. What is he up to?”

“I think he is composing another song. He needs peace and quiet, so he seeks out the most remote classroom or practice room in the campus and holes up in there until he finishes it,” Youngjae explained, a small smile on his lips. “He only comes back to the dorm to crash every other night.”

“He’s going to get ill,” Yugyeom mused, shaking his head as if Jaebum was a lost cause.

“Don’t worry, I make sure he eats his meals and showers every day. I have to drag him to the dorm and spend my precious money in the cafeteria buying dinner for him, but I like to think I’m keeping him alive.” Both boys chuckled softly, a soft and understanding smile on Youngjae’s lips.

“Wow, it’s already 4:15,” the taller boy said upon finishing his chocolate. “I need to rush, man. Dance class starts in fifteen minutes.”

Youngjae drank the remainder of his coffee and licked his lips, standing as well.

“Yes, sure, go ahead. I have to go as well; need to do some research at the library.” He glanced down at the table and saw the still half-eaten blueberry muffin. “What are you going to do with that?”

“Pay for it,” Yugyeom replied as he walked to the counter and placed a note on it. “No, no, this one’s on me, get that out of my face,” he added when Youngjae tried to pay for the coffee. “See you later!”

Yugyeom put on his coat, grabbed his bag and the muffin and left the café in a hurry. Bambam approached the table and began putting the empty mugs in a grey tray he was carrying. Youngjae noticed his apron was not impeccable anymore—it had a couple of dark stains on the lower part.

“So... did he like the muffin?”

Youngjae looked up, his eyes meeting Bambam’s.

“Yeah, he said it was good,” he replied with a soft smile.

“Well, that’s a relief. It was my own recipe, I wasn’t too sure about it but the boss convinced me to sell it. So glad he liked it, really.”

“Do you have more recipes?”

Bambam seemed to hesitate for a second, but eventually answered.

“I do, actually. I don’t like to brag, but my apple pie is delicious as well.”

Youngjae wrapped the scarf around his neck, then shrugged on his coat and started gathering his stuff. The bag was heavier than it looked, so it took him a bit longer to put it over his shoulder.

“Well, I would love to try it sometime. Let me know when it is available,” he said to Bambam, and with a polite bow, turned around and walked to the door.

The pretty boy looked up from his book as Youngjae passed his table and their gazes met for a brief moment. None of them looked away, and Youngjae would have surely run into the glass panels by the door had it not been for his phone ringing. He stopped short, flustered, and rummaged in his bag until he found the damned thing. As he picked it up, he rushed out of the café with his face burning. The raven-haired boy smiled fondly, watching him for a moment before returning to his novel.

“Hello?” Youngjae said as he walked hastily, gaze fixed on the ground.

“Hey, babe. Where are you?” Jaebum sounded like he had just woken up, voice raspy and deep.

“Is this a booty call?”

“Do you want it to be?”

Youngjae rolled his eyes.

“I’m busy, Jaebum. I need to go to the library.”

“I was composing and got a bit hungry. Wouldn’t you do me a favour and buy me some jjajangmyeon? Pleeeeease?” Jaebum pleaded.

“Can’t you go buy it yourself?”

Jaebum whined.

“Please. Your hyung’s hungry.”

“You know, it would do you well to get some fresh air. How long have you been in there?” asked Youngjae.

“Since 6 am, I think.”

“And you haven’t eaten yet?”

“Nope.” Youngjae heard some random piano notes in the background, then a sharp smack. Jaebum had closed the lid on the keyboard. “But hey, maybe you’re right. I’ll go get some fresh air. Have you eaten yet?”

“Um... no, actually.”

“Come eat with me.”

That was the thing with Jaebum—he rarely asked, he just politely assumed. But they were best friends and had a soft spot for each other, so Youngjae could not turn him down. With a sigh, he spun around and walked in the opposite direction.

“Alright, see you in thirty minutes. Take a shower first.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi there, and thank you for reading my very first published fic!  
> I will try to update this as often as I can because the world needs more Markjae. (๑♡3♡๑) I really hope you like it, and I'm looking forward to reading your comments! 
> 
> PS. Apologies if you spotted any mistakes - this work is unbeta-ed and English is not my first language, but I'm trying my best!


	2. Chapter 2

Jaebum slurped the jjajangmyeon like it was the first thing he ate in years. He devoured it, his mouth impossibly full and stained brown as he looked up at Youngjae with a huge grin on his face. His eyes looked like little crescent moons.

“Thank you for the food,” he said, although it was difficult to tell because he was still chewing the enormous mouthful.

“It’s okay,” Youngjae replied, shaking his head softly. “You have to eat all your meals, Jaebum. Otherwise you’ll get ill and you won’t be able to finish that song.”

The older boy ran a hand through his hair, dark as the night sky, pushing it backwards. Youngjae’s eyes followed the movement until Jaebum hummed and clicked his tongue as if it was not a big deal.

“You worry too much.”

“Well, I have my reasons. You’ve collapsed before.”

Jaebum’s black pupils rose to meet Youngjae’s dark chocolate ones, and the younger boy felt something twinge inside him.

“Youngjae, baby, I’m fine. Don’t worry about me.” Jaebum’s voice was soft and tender, quite unlike his expression, which revealed almost no sentiment at all.

He always managed to say such lovely things with a straight face. As years went by, Youngjae had learned that Jaebum, despite what most people thought of him, was a kind and loving soul. It was just hidden underneath a thick heap of layers, and very few people got to see it. He was glad to be one of them, of course. It made him love and treasure Jaebum’s friendship and company all the more.

“You’re my friend, of course I worry,” he faintly protested, glancing down at his own jjajangmyeon and leaning down to take a bite.

Jaebum let out a deep chuckle.

“So what have you been up to lately? Done anything interesting? Shagged anyone prettier than me?”

“What is it with you and your obsession with sex? I think you should see a doctor about it,” Youngjae teased, smirking.

“Whatever,” Jaebum rolled his eyes, “but _have_ you?”

“No, Jaebum, I haven’t. I’ve got more important stuff to do, like studying and the private piano lessons. They’re starting in a month and I’m already anxious about it.”

One of his mother’s friends, who lived in Seoul with her family, had kindly asked if he could help with the youngest daughter’s piano skills, which in her teacher’s opinion were a bit poor. Youngjae’s mother had agreed for him, and now he just could not say no. Besides, he did not want to let anyone down either. It was well paid, at least, but he had always been slightly nervous around kids. He had heard the girl —whose name was Wheein— was thirteen years old, and as far as he knew, that was a difficult age.

“Your mum’s friend?” said Jaebum, raising an eyebrow. Youngjae had told him about it as soon as he had finished speaking with his mum on the phone. “You’ll do well. There’s no one else I know who can play the piano like you do. Not even myself.”

Youngjae felt himself go red, so red his ears burned.

“There’s always something to improve,” he said.

“Don’t be so hard on yourself.” Jaebum slurped another big mouthful of jjajangmyeon. “I truly think you have a gift, I’m not saying it just to make you feel better.”

“I know.”

Youngjae sipped his drink, his mind inevitably wandering back to the handsome boy at the café. He could not stop thinking about how alluring and peaceful he had looked, reading his novel and drinking his _café americano_. It suddenly hit Youngjae that the boy must be a literature major. There was no other explanation.

God, everything about him was cute and attractive. It was making Youngjae all the more curious—like an itch he could not get rid of, no matter how hard he tried. Though to be completely honest, he was not trying very hard.

“So stop worrying,” Jaebum continued. “Don’t worry, be happy! Look at me, I’m the perfect example.”

“Jaebum, you hadn’t showered in four days.”

“But I am still happy! My song is coming along so well, that’s what really matters.”

Youngjae giggled.

“Well, thank goodness for that. And at least you showered today.”

Jaebum laughed again, shaking his head.

“Yes, _mum_.”

* * *

 

Weeks went by, and Youngjae still did not dare tell Jaebum about his growing crush for the mysterious literature student. It was difficult to hide it, though, because they were roommates and were almost always together. Besides, Jaebum was far from stupid. He was sharp as a tack, and Youngjae was sure his friend had caught him daydreaming or staring into nothingness more than once. However, Jaebum never showed any signs of knowledge. He simply continued behaving as he always did—disappearing into his practice room for days, then coming back to the dorm for a shower, a cigarette or just to mess around with Youngjae.

Despite his interest in more frivolous matters, and unfortunately for Youngjae, there were still classes, seminars and practice sessions to attend. One of his teachers had paired him up with Lee Jieun, the most talented violinist in the class, and had asked them to prepare a couple of pieces of chamber music to perform in the inauguration of an art gallery in the campus. Jieun had been happy about it from the start, but Youngjae was not so excited. Usually he preferred to play on his own or with Jaebum if he was not too distracted.

“Hey,” Jieun said with a bright smile, her eyes crinkling at the corners. “How about we play sonatines? Schubert has some lovely ones.”

“Yeah, that’s a good idea,” Youngjae said, gathering all his papers and notes into one big folder he always carried with him. “I can search for the sheets if you’d like.”

Jieun looked thoughtful for a second.

“But it wouldn’t be good for you to do all the work. You take one half, and I’ll do the other one. Is that okay?”

Youngjae nodded, smiling softly.

“Of course. Thank you, Jieun-ssi.”

The girl bowed politely. She turned around and walked towards the exit to the hallway before stopping short. She searched her bag, produced a small notebook and wrote something on it with a pen, then walked back to where Youngjae was standing.

“By the way, you could text me when you’ve got all of them. This is my number,” she added, ripping the page and giving it to him. “That way we can start rehearsing as soon as possible.”

Yugyeom, who had been listening to the entire exchange from the seat behind Youngjae’s, tried to hide a giggle rather unsuccessfully. The sound that came out was halfway between a cough and a snort. Youngjae wanted to kick him in the shin.

“Oh, thanks,” he mumbled with a nod, taking the paper from Jieun. “I’ll make sure to let you know as soon as I have the music.”

“Good. See you later, then. Bye!”

Youngjae waved back at her and she exited the class with two of her friends. He felt a tap on his shoulder and turned around to a giggling Yugyeom and a smirking Jaebum.

“What?” Youngjae asked, confused at their faces. “She only gave me her number to rehearse.”

“You know, I’ve been trying to get her number for months,” Yugyeom admitted, adjusting his turtleneck. “She doesn’t seem to be amazed by my impressive dancing skills, though.”

Jaebum, who was standing behind Yugyeom, glanced at Youngjae with raised eyebrows. Youngjae huffed softly, turning around and heading for the classroom door.

“Maybe there’s an issue with your modesty.”

“I was only joking, you know,” the younger one protested.

Jaebum wrapped an arm around Yugyeom’s shoulders, squeezing softly. The three of them exited the classroom and walked down the corridor, which was lined with large windows on one side. The sun was shining bright in the sky, only partially covered by little clouds carried by the wind. If it were not for the fact that it was early November and quite chilly outside, one would have sworn summer was about to start.

“Yugyeomie, do you want to know why Jieun isn’t interested in your dancing skills?” Jaebum asked, playful.

“Why, hyung?”

Youngjae, who was facing away from them, smiled to himself.

“She’s seeing someone already.”

“What?” Yugyeom’s eyes were wide. “Who?”

“Doesn’t matter who. Just keep in mind that you’re probably not her type. At all.” Jaebum smiled and patted the younger’s shoulder. “Get what I’m saying?”

Yugyeom raised an eyebrow.

“I’m afraid I don’t follow,” he answered, narrowing his eyes.

“Ah, forget it.”

Youngjae felt the weight of an arm around his shoulder, then Jaebum’s hand softly patting his chest.

“Are you busy tonight?”

Youngjae glanced around to make sure nobody was listening. Yugyeom had found some classmates from his dance class and was talking to them.

“Not really, to be honest,” he replied.

“I’m just about to finish the song and I was thinking of coming back to the dorm for good, so… if you want to.”

Jaebum’s nose was pressed against Youngjae’s ear, and Youngjae could feel the other’s little smirk against his skin.

“That’s… not… a horrible idea.”

“Don’t play hard to get, I know you’ve missed me.”

With a roll of his eyes, Youngjae playfully pushed Jaebum away.

“I’m going to the library to get those music sheets. See you tonight, you fucking pervert.”

Jaebum chuckled, giving him a wink and blowing a little kiss. Youngjae flicked them away, pretending to be offended. Both of them laughed.

“See you later!” Jaebum called, waving goodbye when Youngjae headed down the stairs.

What he had with Jaebum was something that would seem unusual to most people. They were not a couple, never had been, even though they knew each other since they were kids and treasured each other more than pretty much anything else. Jaebum had moved into the house next door when Youngjae was only eight years old, and the connection between them had been immediate. They became best friends first, then started a physical relationship that, surprisingly enough, never evolved into romantic love. They loved each other, of course, just not in that way.

Youngjae still remembered the first time Jaebum kissed him. He was fifteen and Jaebum seventeen, and they were sitting in the back of Jaebum’s car, waiting for his mum to finish a few errands before driving them both to music school.

 _Your lips are so sweet, Youngjae-ah_ , Jaebum had murmured against Youngjae’s mouth, squeezing his thigh through his jeans.

Their relationship turned increasingly more intimate from that day on. However, their friendship always stayed the same. They had even seen other people throughout the years, and even though they had not been in any stable relationship so far, they were quite comfortable as they were. Until now, at least. Youngjae could barely keep the cute literature student off his mind, no matter how much time he spent with Jaebum, and it was starting to become a real worry.  

He clicked his tongue as he headed towards the exit of the main building, holding his bag close. He only needed to go to the library, get Schubert’s bloody sonatine sheets and text Jieun when he was done. Easy enough, although he did not feel like rehearsing at all.

The walk to the library was a quiet one. Youngjae took the least crowded path, the one that led to the library’s side entrance through the athletics field. As he walked by, Youngjae could see a big group of what he assumed were sports students, boys and girls, warming up and running on the track. One of the boys caused another to trip and laughed obnoxiously loudly when the other started chasing him through the field. Youngjae sighed softly upon noticing them. Sports students always looked so sprightly and carefree.

The atmosphere changed as soon as Youngjae pushed the door open and stepped into the library, the air becoming warm and slightly heavier. Just the way he liked it. He rubbed his reddening nose, sniffing softly as he made his way up the stairs again. He knew by heart where the music section was—third floor, second corridor to the left. It was a huge library, the biggest one in the campus, with high ceilings, huge windows and so much quiet. It was one of Youngjae’s favourite places.

“Alright then,” he murmured to himself, slowly approaching one of the shelves, “Schubert, where are you hiding?”

The sheets were arranged by author in alphabetical order, all neatly placed in white folders with their correspondent labels. Youngjae’s fingertips grazed them as he passed, shelf after shelf, folder after folder, reading every label quietly. Eventually, he stopped upon finding what he was looking for.

“Ah, there you are.”

He reached out to grab Schubert’s folder, one of the thickest ones, when suddenly another hand appeared and tried to take it as well. The two hands collided midway and recoiled almost instantly, and when Youngjae looked up, his heart stopped.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, thank you so so much for reading! ♥


	3. Chapter 3

“Oh, god. I’m sorry,” a low voice said.

It was the literature boy. Youngjae blinked.

“You were going to take Schubert’s, weren’t you?” the boy asked after a few seconds, taking the folder and handing it to Youngjae.

It took him a good five seconds to process the whole situation before his brain started working properly again.

“Ah, yes, yes,” Youngjae barely managed not to stutter. “Sorry. Do you need it right now?”

The raven-haired boy shook his head. He was standing quite close and his clothes smelled like pine needles.

“Oh, no, not really. I just wanted to take a look at some of his sonatines because I play the piano in my spare time and they seemed interesting. But it’s not urgent at all.”

Nodding, Youngjae bit the inside of his cheek and looked down at the folder, avoiding eye contact at all costs.

“You… you play the piano?” he murmured, looking at the other briefly and immediately glancing away.

“I do, yes. I’m self-taught though, I’ve never gone to music school or anything,” the boy replied, keeping his deep voice low. “You’re a music major, aren’t you?” he added after a brief pause.

Youngjae looked up at him again, this time meeting his gaze.

“How…?”

“It’s quite obvious, really,” the other answered, smiling softly. “You’re always carrying music sheets around, and you have pianist hands.”

“Oh, well…” Youngjae blinked, visibly flustered, and looked down at his hands.

“Oh, don’t tell me you aren’t a music major.”

“No, No, I am.” Youngjae let out a slightly nervous laugh. “You are right.”

“Whoah, good, it would have been really embarrassing otherwise. Sometimes you think you can read people, and then they turn out to be entirely different.”

“Yeah.”

Youngjae was not very good at making conversation, so silence soon fell upon both of them. He glanced down at the folder in his hands, and after a moment’s thought, handed it back to the boy.

“Here.”

The other one looked confused, brow furrowed underneath his soft dark fringe.

“Sorry?” he asked.

“You can have Schubert’s sheets. I don’t need them so urgently,” Youngjae lied, and it came out so natural that the other boy seemed to believe him.

“Are you sure? I can get them whenever, I only use them to practise.”

“Please, I insist,” Youngjae continued, offering the folder to the other boy once again. After a beat, the other took it.

“Why, thank you,” he said, “I’ll give them back as soon as I can.”

“Don’t worry. I was just going to take them for a quick review, but that can wait.”

The other boy nodded, then bowed politely.

“Nevertheless, thanks again.”

Youngjae gave him his most radiant smile, despite the fact that his knees were shaking inside his jeans.

“It’s okay, really.”

Rehearsals with Jieun definitely could wait a few days, especially if he got the chance to know this boy.

“I’m Park Jinyoung, by the way,” the other murmured after a moment, giving Youngjae a smile that was even more radiant. “I’m majoring in literature.”

Bingo.

“Choi Youngjae,” he replied, bowing as well. “It’s a pleasure to meet you.”

“You too. We’ve seen each other around campus a few times, haven’t we? Or am I mistaken?”

Oh, so he had noticed. Youngjae tried his best not to sound too eager when he replied.

“Yes, I think we have.”

Jinyoung smiled again.

“I knew I had seen your face before.” He then checked his watch and let out a little gasp. “Well, Youngjae, seems like I’m a bit late for class. I’ve got to dash, but I promise I’ll return the sheets soon.”

“It’s fine, go ahead,” Youngjae replied, shaking his head.

They both bowed again, and he watched as Jinyoung turned around and rushed down the stairs, taking the entire folder of Schubert’s sonatines with him.

Youngjae sighed, smiling to himself. It was at least _a little bit_ okay to delay the rehearsals a couple of days, right? Nobody needed to know that he had gone to the library to get them. At least he now had a chance to see Jinyoung again.

Everything about him was as alluring as it had originally seemed—Youngjae had only felt the pull grow stronger upon talking to him, even though his legs now felt like jelly. He could only hope to get to know Jinyoung better. The curiosity growing inside him was unstoppable, like a train without breaks going down a steep slope. Youngjae knew it had to be sated.

As for now, though, since he was already in the library, he thought he might as well get something done. He sat down alone in one of the tables and spent the next two hours catching up with homework and doing some research for his papers, his phone conveniently turned off so that he would not get distracted.

Outside the library, the sun slowly hid behind the horizon, the rays seeping through the branches of the trees and casting orange shadows on the walls. Youngjae looked up, blinking behind his glasses as he glanced around. Half of the students that had been there when he had started his study session were long gone now, and only a couple of them remained, one deeply focused with his earphones on, and the other fast asleep on top of a pile of books. Youngjae yawned, stretched his arms and popped some of his joints before checking the time—it was almost eight thirty already. He must pat himself in the back for staying focused for almost two and a half hours after his encounter with Jinyoung. He thought he would have spent most of the time daydreaming and repeating the exchange in his head over and over again, analysing every word they had said, but he was thankful it had ultimately not been like that. Perhaps this was more serious than it seemed.

Before he could take his thoughts any further, his stomach grumbled softly. Ah, yes, food. Youngjae had almost forgotten that it was actually time for dinner. He was not sure where Jaebum or Yugyeom were, but since it was a Friday night, he supposed they were busy for the time being, and therefore decided to dine alone. He remembered there was a nice ramyun place just outside the campus, so he decided to go and check it out for a change. Campus food was not so bad, but new things, and especially new food, always attracted Youngjae’s attention all the more.

It was dark outside as Youngjae walked, hands inside the pockets of his black coat and bag hanging from his left shoulder. He remembered Jieun, wondering for a moment what would happen if she found out he had not grabbed Schubert’s folder on purpose and had let someone else take it. Would she be angry? He could not imagine someone so polite and elegant like Jieun getting angry, or even yelling for that matter, but he secretly hoped no one noticed his little scheme. He wanted to make things work between him and Jinyoung, but he must be patient. _Things like these should never be rushed_ , he internally reminded himself.

When he finally managed to find the ramyun place, which obviously still did not appear in the map app he was using, it was just starting to rain softly. Youngjae rushed into the restaurant, sheltering himself from the rain, and pushed the door open. It was a rather small place with just four or five tables, but it felt cosy and warm, the walls painted a nice beige colour and the tables made of what seemed dark walnut wood. The nice smell in the air made Youngjae’s mouth water, and he immediately went to one of the smaller tables and ordered a ramyun. Suddenly, a big bowl of steaming spicy noodles felt like the best idea to warm up.

While he waited for his order to arrive, Youngjae took off his coat and pulled out his phone, turning it on again. He had six missed calls from his mum, which sent him into a sort of panic as he hastened to return them. He dialled his mum’s number and waited for her to pick it up, wondering what she had wanted from him.

“Youngjae?” she asked, picking up the phone after a few seconds. “I’ve been calling you! Why didn’t you answer?”

“I was in the library, mum,” Youngjae replied. “I turned off the phone to avoid distractions, sorry.”

“I was getting worried, honey.”

“Sorry for worrying you, but I’m okay, mum, really.” He looked up and smiled, nodding his head politely when the waitress brought his ramyun. The door opened and a group of six or seven students walked in, all clad in sports clothes and carrying big gym bags. When they were all seated, the bulkiest of the group raised his voice to ask for ramyun and soju for everyone. Youngjae had to cover his phone’s microphone, pursing his lips.

“Where are you?” his mother asked. There was no way she had not heard all that ruckus.

“I-I’m having dinner,” he quickly answered, flustered. “In a ramyun place.”

“You’re not drinking, are you?”

“Mum, please.”

“Okay, okay,” she relented. “I actually called you about the private piano lessons, remember?”

The table where all the sports students were sitting was directly opposite Youngjae, and upon looking up he thought he had caught one of them staring. However, he was focused on the conversation with his mum and quickly dismissed the thought.

“Yes, I do. Wheein’s classes, right? What about them?” Youngjae asked, slightly more interested. He secretly hoped his mum’s friend had not changed her mind.

“Her mum called me earlier today and asked me if you could start next week instead of waiting until next month,” his mum said. “I told her I thought there would be no problem, but I had to ask you first.”

Youngjae paused, holding the ramyun with the chopsticks just a few inches from his open mouth.

“What? So early?” he said, wondering how he would fit it all into his schedule. “Why does she want to start now?”

“I have no idea, actually. Maybe she has a recital coming up?”

“Could be.” Youngjae slurped the ramyun and chewed it, his mouth full as he turned the idea over in his head. “I think I can do it, if it’s just twice a week.”

His mother seemed to be happy to hear that.

“Good! I’ll text you the mum’s number and you two can arrange the details. Is that okay?”

“Yeah, sure. Thanks, mum.”

“Everything else okay, dear?”

Youngjae hummed a yes, taking a sip of water.

“Yes, everything okay. Tons of work, but that’s the usual. You guys okay over there?”

“We’re fine. It sometimes gets lonely for me and dad, being in here by ourselves while you guys are away. Your sister is coming to visit tomorrow, though.”

“Really? Tell her I said hi, then. I miss talking to her.”

“You’re coming home for Christmas break, aren’t you?” his mum asked after a moment, sounding like she was afraid that he had changed his mind.

Fortunately, Youngjae had not.

“Of course I am.” He looked up at the table where the sports students sat. They were all eating like they had not been fed in years, and had already drunk at least one bottle of soju each. They clearly had something to celebrate, Youngjae thought as he saw their rosy cheeks and heard their loud laughs.

“Good. We’re all dying to see you,” his mum added, her voice soft.

“Me too.” There was a brief pause. “I’m going to eat dinner now, mum. Take care, okay? And tell dad I love him.”

“Of course, Youngjae. Take care.”

They both hung up at the same time, and Youngjae continued to eat his delicious —albeit now a bit cold— ramyun. He ate in silence, forgetting about his family for a moment and allowing himself to revisit the conversation he had had with Jinyoung at the library. His stomach felt fluttery when he remembered him saying that they had seen each other before. What if he was not the only one who was interested? One could only hope, at least for now. He wanted to know everything about Jinyoung—from his favourite colour to his darkest secret.

As he was finishing his meal, Youngjae’s phone vibrated with a new text message.

_DefSoul: Hey cutie where are u?_

It was from Jaebum. Raising an eyebrow, Youngjae typed a quick reply.

_ARS: Just finished eating dinner, why?_

_DefSoul: U still remember our date tonight, right_

_ARS: Calm down, I haven’t forgotten_

Jaebum could get to be quite impatient, and hated it when he was kept waiting. It was still early, though, barely ten o’clock, so Youngjae deduced he must be really looking forward to this.

_DefSoul: Fine_

_DefSoul: Not that I care that much tho_

_DefSoul: Who am I kidding get over here quick will you_

Chuckling to himself, Youngjae shook his head and stood up. He paid for his dinner, which he thought would be a bit cheaper, and headed out towards the dorm. It was still raining, though, and since he was not carrying an umbrella, he tried to cover himself with his bag but got drenched from head to toe anyway.

The dorm was mostly quiet when he walked into the hall, cursing under his breath at how soggy and uncomfortable his socks felt inside his sneakers.

“This is all your fault, Jaebum,” he murmured to himself between gritted teeth, walking up the stairs to the fifth floor, where their room was. “For making me run all the way here.”

It obviously went without saying that because of the heavy rain and the darkness, he had stepped into nearly every puddle in the campus on his way to the dormitory. Still, Youngjae liked to blame it on Jaebum because it felt more relieving.

The hallway on the fifth floor was in complete silence as Youngjae crossed it, careful not to make any loud noise and disturb his neighbours. Some of them might still be in their rooms, but it was a Friday, so he knew most of them were out having fun. Yugyeom surely was.

At least he and Jaebum could be alone and undisturbed.

He opened the door to their shared room and was met with a rather appealing sight—all the lights were off, except for his bedside lamp, whose glow created a warm and cosy atmosphere. Both their beds had been neatly made, with fresh sheets and duvets, and Jaebum was sitting at his desk playing games on his phone, clad in a white t-shirt and a pair of grey pyjama bottoms. As soon as Youngjae closed the door behind him, he looked up, a wide smile spreading across his face.

“Forgot your umbrella, eh?”

“Clever.” Youngjae huffed, taking off his coat and hanging it by the door. The bag he was carrying was dripping wet, so he quickly emptied it on his own desk. Fortunately, no important books or notes had been damaged and he sighed with relief.

“You’re soaked.” Jaebum was standing right behind him, his eager hands on Youngjae’s waist. “And cold.”

Youngjae shivered, but tried not to let it show.

“Don’t worry, I won’t get ill.”

“Of course you won’t. I’ve seen how many vitamin supplements you take.” Jaebum was smirking, this time even closer. “How about a shower?”

Youngjae simply nodded, and Jaebum walked away for a moment to make sure the door was properly locked. He then led Youngjae to the bathroom, which was inside the room, where he started tugging at his clothes.

“I can do it myself, Jaebum,” Youngjae protested, trying to take his hands away.

“Let me do it.”

Jaebum sounded distracted. He was completely focused on unzipping Youngjae’s jeans, and when he finally managed to do so, he quickly pulled them down Youngjae’s legs. The younger rested his hands on Jaebum’s shoulders for support as he stepped out of the garment.

“I’ll get the water running,” Jaebum said, opening the shower screen and reaching inside. “Hot hot, or just hot?” he asked with a smile.

“Hot hot.” Youngjae gave him another smile, his hands still resting on Jaebum’s shoulders. “It’s really cold outside.”

“It sure is.” Jaebum quickly grabbed the hem of Youngjae’s jumper, pulling it up over his head and throwing it aside. “I’ll make you feel warm."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~~I swear this is a Markjae fic~~
> 
> Sorry for the irregular updates, real life and phd thesis get in the way often. I'm determined to finish this story though, so don't worry, there will always be an update sooner or later! 
> 
> As always, thank you so much for reading (despite the slow build of the story!) and see you in the next chapter. ♥


	4. Chapter 4

The shower felt like a blessing, Youngjae thought after they had washed themselves. Jaebum stood behind him, his chest pressed to Youngjae’s back as the water warmed their bodies.

“It’s been a while,” Jaebum murmured, his lips pressed to the juncture between Youngjae’s shoulder and neck. He inhaled deeply, closing his eyes for a moment.

“Yeah,” Youngjae replied, leaning into the touch. He tilted his head backwards and rested it on Jaebum’s shoulder.

“Did you miss me?” Jaebum pressed a few more kisses to his neck, adorning them with some playful bites. Youngjae squirmed in his arms.

“I think you missed me more.”

“That’s probably true,” Jaebum admitted, trailing his hands down Youngjae’s front, slowly, taking his time to explore every inch of pale skin. “Relax, baby, you’re tense.”

Youngjae took a deep breath, closing his eyes. It had been a long day, so he just pushed all thoughts and worries out of his mind and focused solely on that moment—on Jaebum’s lips pressed to his nape, on the hands that were caressing the fronts of his thighs, on his and Jaebum’s steady breathing, on the spray of water that was covering them both. Yes, he needed to relax. Jaebum was probably the person he trusted the most in the world, the only one who could see him like this. Tired, vulnerable, horny.

His breathing caught in his throat when a strong hand wrapped itself around his cock and started stroking it firmly. Youngjae did not even bother to stop the low moan that came out of his mouth, and so Jaebum continued, encouraged. None of them said anything, as words were no longer needed. Youngjae knew what Jaebum liked —just like Jaebum knew how to make him squirm— so he reached back and grabbed the back of Jaebum’s thigh, right below the buttock, and pulled him even closer, pressing their bodies together. Out of the older’s throat came a moan that was like a purr, right into Youngjae’s ear, and his hand increased the rhythm of the strokes.

It was not long before Youngjae was coming, one hand resting against the tiled wall and the other clutching Jaebum’s forearm, body tilted backwards against the other boy’s. He was panting heavily, face red and sweaty as Jaebum gave his cock a few last gentle tugs, knuckles covered in white.

“That was gorgeous,” Jaebum said after a beat, reaching up and pushing Youngjae’s fringe backwards. “You okay, sweetie?”

Youngjae merely nodded and hummed, still not trusting himself with words. With a small smile, he turned around and returned Jaebum’s deep kiss, their mouths slowly moving against each other.

“You…” he said when they pulled away, looking down at Jaebum’s still hard cock. It was obviously part of their unspoken arrangement that it was _polite_ to make each other come at least once during their encounters, so Youngjae wanted to reciprocate. Jaebum quickly stopped his hand.

“Not here,” he replied with a grin, bringing him closer to whisper against his lips. “Let me fuck you.”

Jaebum rarely asked, he just politely assumed, Youngjae remembered as he pressed his still damp cheek to the pillow, moaning softly as Jaebum fucked him into the mattress. He had actually missed it; the adrenaline rush, the heat, the pleasure, letting go, the soreness afterwards. They normally did not leave marks on each other because Jaebum was actually quite gentle, but this time Youngjae knew there would be bruises. He begged Jaebum to go harder.

* * *

“What’s that on your neck?” Yugyeom murmured a few days later, voice low so that nobody else could hear. Youngjae automatically inched up his turtleneck.

“Nothing.” He pushed up his glasses and carried on writing notes.

“I think I saw a bruise there. Is that a hickey?”

“Of course it’s not a hickey, Yugyeom, for goodness’ sake.”

“Let me see.” Yugyeom tried to pull down the neck of Youngjae’s jumper, but he quickly moved away and slapped the younger’s hand.

“Stop that, will you? I’m trying to write some notes here.”

“No! You’ve hooked up with someone. I demand the truth!”

Youngjae sighed and looked up at Yugyeom, his notes forgotten on the table. They were back at the café where Bambam worked, getting some work done in between classes. A pair of girls sitting on a nearby table looked over when Yugyeom raised his voice.

“I haven’t hooked up with anybody, don’t be stupid,” Youngjae said, lowering his voice.

“Then who gave you that hickey?” Yugyeom said, pointing his finger at Youngjae’s neck. “A ghost?”

“Perhaps you can tell me who gave you the one on the base of your neck,” Youngjae countered, nodding towards Yugyeom. “You haven’t even bothered to cover it.”

Yugyeom’s face turned red in just a matter of seconds.

“Don’t change the subject,” he protested, grabbing Youngjae’s scarf and quickly wrapping it around his neck.

Youngjae smiled to himself, proud of his little victory, and both boys stayed in silence. He could tell Yugyeom was still looking at him at times, but perhaps he knew better than to address the matter once again.

“Hi, guys!” said a cheerful voice beside them. Bambam was standing there, smiley and bubbly as ever, his apron impeccable again. His hair was no longer red, though; it was now a beautiful silver colour. “Nice to see you again! How have you been?”

“Good, how about you?” Youngjae replied with a polite nod.

“Hey, nice hair!” Yugyeom said quickly, an appreciative smile on his lips. Bambam brought a hand to his head.

“Oh, you like it? I wasn’t too sure about it.”

“Yeah, man, it looks cool.”

Youngjae watched both of them with a small smile. How come were they so close? What had he missed?

“Thanks,” Bambam answered with a soft blush on his cheeks. “What can I bring you?”

“Just a cappuccino for me,” Youngjae said.

“An iced latte, please,” Yugyeom added, then licked his lips. “And something to eat, I’m starving.”

“Oh, we’ve got apple pie today,” Bambam suggested, to which Youngjae looked up with his eyebrows raised. The waiter smiled. “Would you like to try it?”

“Yes, why not?” Youngjae said with a nod.

The blush on Bambam’s face deepened as he turned away after taking their order. Youngjae felt proud of him.

“Did you know he’s in my contemporary dance class?” Yugyeom said, nodding towards the waiter. “He’s a nice bloke. From Thailand, I think.”

Youngjae looked up from his book.

“You’ve been talking to each other?”

“Yeah. His skills are quite impressive,” Yugyeom nodded. “And he can rap, too. You should hear it.”

“Hm,” Youngjae hummed, “that’s quite cool. I’d like to.”

“Hey, Youngjae,” Yugyeom started after a few moments of silence, “have you and Jieun started rehearsing already?”

“No, not yet, why?”

“Just curious.” The younger shrugged.

“Curious about her,” Youngjae added with a playful smile.

Yugyeom let out a shy chuckle and scratched the back of his head.

“Maybe a little bit, but let’s be real. She’s older than me and probably thinks I’m childish.”

“Well, you remember what Jaebum said, don’t you?”

Yugyeom frowned.

“What do you mean?” he asked.

“I believe he made a reference to the fact that Jieun is probably not interested in men,” Youngjae replied, amused by the expression on his dongsaeng’s face. “You hadn’t noticed?”

“I… I didn’t — she could be bi!” Yugyeom countered.

“Fair point,” Youngjae conceded with a nod. “But we’re not a hundred percent sure.”

“I suggest you investigate, since you’re going to be spending time together,” the younger said, pointing his finger at him. “And then you can inform me.”

“And you think I’m going to do that because…?”

Bambam brought a tray with their coffees and a big slice of apple pie for them both. He looked at them and raised an eyebrow.

“What are you guys talking about?”

Both Yugyeom and Youngjae turned their heads towards him.

“I’m going to make a detective out of Youngjae here,” Yugyeom replied, rubbing his hands.

Youngjae rolled his eyes.

“Instead of using me to spy on girls you have little to no chance with, how about you start studying for a change?”

Bambam pursed his lips and tried not to laugh, but failed miserably.

“Man, that was a sick burn,” he told Yugyeom, who was again blushing like a schoolboy.

“That was mean!” he protested, grabbing a fork and aggressively taking a huge bite of the apple pie. “And this is fucking delicious! I hate you both.”

Youngjae pushed up his glasses again, chuckling along with Bambam.

A while later, just after finishing his coffee, he checked his watch and gasped softly; it was already 2:20 pm.

“Shit, I’m sorry, but I’ve got to get going,” he said, taking a big forkful of apple pie and munching it quickly. “I didn’t know it was so late, my next class is starting in ten minutes.” He hummed at the taste. “Hmm, delicious.”

“You took nearly all of it!” Yugyeom said, pouting at the small piece of pie that remained on the plate.

“You’ve eaten more than half of it, don’t act like I haven’t seen you. Anyway, you can have that, I need to dash.”

Yugyeom watched Youngjae as he got up from his chair and started putting on his coat.

“Good luck, hyung,” he finally said, to which Youngjae looked up, surprised. Yugyeom never used formalities with him. “With the private lessons, I mean. I know you’re starting today.”

Youngjae smiled softly.

“Thanks, Yugyeom. I’m definitely going to need all the luck.”

“You’ll do great, I’m sure.”

Youngjae patted the younger on the shoulder, then gave him a couple of notes.

“Here, today this one’s on me,” he said with a smile. “See you later!”

* * *

Youngjae was the last one to step off the bus. He stood in the darkened sidewalk for a moment, watching as it drove off, until a shiver brought him back to reality. He had forgotten his scarf at the café, but he knew Yugyeom had it.

The first piano lesson with Wheein had not gone completely wrong, but it had not been great either. The thirteen-year-old was definitely not as skilled as her mother had explained to Youngjae, so he had had to spend an extra thirty minutes with her to review some basic concepts. He then had needed to run to catch the last bus to the campus, and was now walking towards the dorm with a full head and an empty stomach.

“I guess we’ll have to work harder,” he murmured to himself, remembering how Wheein had looked at the piano, as if she were afraid it would bite off her fingers. She was not a bad student; she was polite and bubbly, so perhaps the problem lay elsewhere.

For now, though, Youngjae was in desperate need of food and rest, in that specific order. He knew there was some stuff in his room at the dorm, but having a samgak kimbap and a protein bar for dinner was not enough after going for more than four hours without food. God, how he missed his mother’s home-cooked meals…

“Youngjae-ssi?” someone called after him. “Youngjae-ssi!”

Youngjae turned around to the sight of none other than Park Jinyoung running towards him, cheeks flushed and hand waving in the air. His other arm was wrapped around a small stack of books. Youngjae immediately stopped in his tracks, blinking repeatedly.

“Oh, hi, Jinyoung-ssi,” he said with a small bow when the other boy stopped before him. “Sorry, I hadn’t seen you.”

“It’s alright,” Jinyoung panted softly. “Why are you out so late? It’s past nine thirty already.”

“Well, I could ask you the same question.”

“There was a seminar on American gothic literature,” Jinyoung explained with a somewhat guilty smile. “I’ve been dying to attend for months now.”

“Oh, and how was it?” 

“Amazing,” the other replied, his black fringe falling over his eyes. He nodded towards Youngjae. “Your turn now.”

Youngjae smiled.

“I was just walking back from the bus stop. I just started teaching private piano lessons.”

“You did? Wow, you must be very good at it.”

Youngjae shrugged sheepishly, his cheeks feeling warm.

“I just try to do what I enjoy,” he said, looking down at his feet.

“That’s a lovely thought,” Jinyoung observed with a tender smile on his lips. “Oh, by the way, here. I wanted to return this to you,” he added, rummaging in his bag.

Youngjae looked up, interested, and watched as Jinyoung pulled out the folder with Schubert’s music sheets.

“I finished going through them a couple of days ago, but then I realised I had no way of contacting you,” he carried on, eyes dark and shiny underneath his thick eyebrows. “I was going to look for you tomorrow, but since we’re here now… they’re yours.”

“Oh, well, I… thanks,” Youngjae mumbled, gently taking the folder. His hand brushed Jinyoung’s fingers and he fought back a shiver.

“You’re most welcome.” Jinyoung’s smile was pearl white under the moonlight and the streetlamps along the path. He pushed his hands into the pockets of his brown coat. “By the way, have you had dinner yet?”

Youngjae shook his head and clutched the folder against his chest. It smelled like pine needles.

“No, not yet. I’m starving though,” he admitted.

“Then it’s your lucky day,” Jinyoung added, suddenly wrapping an arm around Youngjae’s shoulders. “I know just the place. Would you like to have dinner with me?”

It was curious to Youngjae how Jinyoung asked instead of assuming.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a shorter one, but I just want to thank you all for reading and leaving such lovely comments, I love getting feedback! Please let me know what you thought of this chapter, too, and see you in the next one. ♥
> 
> PS 1. I swear Mark's first appearance is coming guys, just wait a little bit more!
> 
> ~~PS 2. Yes there is some smut in this one I hope you enjoy that too bc I did enjoy writing it~~


	5. Chapter 5

Jinyoung led him to the same ramyun place where he had eaten alone just a few days prior. Youngjae did not say he had been there before and simply sat down opposite the other boy, too happy to even care about eating ramyun so often. Was that bad for you? Sure, but who the fuck cared when he was having dinner with the cute raven-haired literature boy.

“So, Youngjae-ssi,” Jinyoung started after asking the waitress to bring them two bottles of soju along with their dinner, “you’re a music major.”

“Just call me Youngjae,” Youngjae said, nodding his head softly. “And yes, I am, as you so cleverly guessed.”

“It’s just so obvious,” Jinyoung said with a smile. “Since when have you been playing the piano?”

“I started when I was three, my older sister taught me. She kind of sat me down and made it look like a game so I wouldn’t grow bored,” Youngjae explained, a certain fondness in his voice. “She’s always been so great.”

Jinyoung seemed surprised.

“Wow, that sounds amazing. I have two older sisters, and all they’ve done for me is tease me and dress me up as a girl.”

Youngjae chuckled.

“I would have liked to see that.”

“Oh, you would, wouldn’t you?” Jinyoung smirked as the waitress brought their bottles of soju, the corners of his eyes crinkling sweetly. He took a sip and licked his lips. Youngjae tried not to stare. “I have to say, though, I was a very pretty girl.”

It was amazing how quickly Jinyoung made Youngjae feel at ease, as if he were around a long-time friend, not someone he had only met a week ago. He suddenly felt scared about opening up so fast, but Jinyoung’s warm smile brought him landing back into reality, softly, like falling against a fluffy cushion when you are tired.

“I’m sure,” Youngjae said with a chuckle, taking a sip of soju. “So you are the youngest sibling as well?”

Jinyoung nodded.

“Yes, I am. I only have two sisters and they insist that I was an accident.”

“An accident?” Youngjae frowned.

“Yeah, you know, an unplanned baby,” the other replied with a soft laugh.

Youngjae almost snorted his drink, giggling.

“But that’s cruel!”

“That’s my sisters to you.”

Their bowls of ramyun were brought to the table and placed before them, and Youngjae’s stomach roared at both the smell and the sight. He was so hungry that he started eating right away, mumbling a quick “enjoy your meal” before digging in. It was hotter than lava, but Youngjae was long past caring at that point, and just hummed appreciatively at the taste while Jinyoung watched him, amazed.

“You look like you haven’t eaten in days, Youngjae,” he observed.

“Hm?” Youngjae looked up from his bowl, mouth full of noodles. “Sorry,” he tried to speak, covering his mouth with a hand, “I haven’t eaten anything since lunch.”

Jinyoung started with his own ramyun, humming as well.

“Well, you do have to eat,” he replied after a moment, “otherwise you’ll get ill.”

Youngjae shook his head softly.

“Don’t worry about me, I’ll be fine.”

“I bet you tell everyone that.”

Jinyoung was staring at him expectantly, his expression a bit more serious than before. Youngjae slurped the ramyun and watched him back, blinking. Was the ability to see right through him a natural gift of Jinyoung’s, or was it just a product of Youngjae’s slightly tipsy perception?

“Eat, Youngjae,” Jinyoung added, a knowing smile on his lips as he resumed eating as well.

Blushing, Youngjae obeyed.

It was late when they both stepped out into the cold night air, their faces red and their words slightly slurred due to the soju. Youngjae felt comfortable and happy like he had not felt in such a long time. It was such a strong rush of endorphins.

“Well,” Jinyoung said, rocking on his heels as they stood outside the ramyun place, “it’s been great to hang out with you, Youngjae. Really.”

“Same here,” Youngjae replied, slipping his hands into the pockets of his coat. They were getting cold. “We could do it again.”

“Yes, we should.” Jinyoung extended his palm, and Youngjae looked down at it and frowned, confused. “May I have your phone, please?”

“Oh, yeah, sure.” Youngjae pulled out his phone and handed it to Jinyoung, who wrote his number and added it to the contacts. He then phoned himself and saved Youngjae’s number to his phone as well.

“There you go. That way we can stay in touch.” He grinned. “I’ve got to go now, I think I’ve had a little bit too much to drink and I’m sleepy as fuck.”

Youngjae giggled at the curse. Apparently, he was tipsier than he had thought.

“Yeah, me too. Which dorm are you staying in?”

“Oh, the one in the green building,” Jinyoung replied, pointing in the direction of the dorm. “It’s the closest one to my faculty. What’s your dorm?”

“The white building by the sports field,” a third voice replied from behind Youngjae.

Both boys turned with a start, coming face to face with Jaebum, clad in a black sweatshirt and grey jogging trousers. He had one earbud on and was chewing something, his expression neutral as he turned to Youngjae and gave him a wink.

“Been worried about you, you brat. Answer your phone.”

“Oh, Jaebum,” Youngjae replied, flustered. Jinyoung was looking at them with that mysterious smile of his. “Hey, Jinyoung, this is my roommate, Jaebum. Jaebum, this is Jinyoung, a friend.”

“Pleasure to meet you.” Jaebum smiled and nodded at the same time as Jinyoung. “So did my dongsaeng here just go out to drink, huh, Youngjae-ah?” he wrapped an arm around the younger and brought him closer, smirking.

Jinyoung chuckled deeply.

“We didn’t drink that much, don’t worry.”

“Yeah, we’re fine,” Youngjae added, trying to push Jaebum away rather unsuccessfully.

“Well, I’d best get going now,” Jinyoung said softly, then bowed again. “See you around, Youngjae, and nice to meet you, Jaebum-ssi.”

Youngjae bowed even lower and then waved goodbye. He stood beside Jaebum and both watched him leave, walking gracefully down the path despite his state of slight inebriation. Jaebum pinched Youngjae’s buttock and he jumped, yelping softly.

“Will you stop that?!”

“Oh my god, you’re blushing like a schoolgirl.” Jaebum chuckled. “Have you fucked him yet?”

Youngjae pushed him away and started walking in the opposite direction towards their own dorm.

“Jaebum!” he growled, embarrassed. “Shut up, we just met last week!”

The older followed him, giggling.

“Do you like him at least? Does he like you back? He’s quite cute.”

“Leave me alone.”

Youngjae pushed him away again, a small smile finally making its way onto his lips. His mouth still tasted like soju as Jaebum kissed it sweetly, pinning him against a nearby tree.

“I was actually worried, you know,” Jaebum admitted with a whisper, his hand cradling the back of Youngjae’s neck.

“I’m sorry.” Youngjae looked into his eyes.

“Remember that time in PE during high school, when you couldn’t run anymore and almost passed out in the tracks?” Jaebum murmured, grinning.

“You picked me up and carried me piggyback-style all the way to the finish line.”

Jaebum nodded and pecked his lips one last time.

“I’m always here for you, Youngjae.”

Youngjae frowned, but nodded.

“I… know you are. The same as I am here for you.”

Jaebum shook his head as if it was not important and took a step back, nodding towards the path.

“Come, let’s take your drunk ass home.”

Youngjae chuckled and followed him, letting Jaebum wrap his arm around his shoulders again.

* * *

“Jieun-ssi, do you have a moment?” Youngjae murmured, approaching the girl as she was sitting alone in the cafeteria, reading over some notes. She looked up and smiled, her beautiful round face brightening up.

“Oh, hello, Youngjae-ssi!” she said, then gestured to the chair opposite. “Of course, yes, please sit down.”

Youngjae nodded politely and did as asked, taking a seat opposite her at the small table.

“I wanted to tell you that I’ve finally managed to get hold of Schubert’s music sheets,” he explained, pulling out the folder and handing it to her so she could see it. Jieun gasped softly, visibly excited.

“Finally!” she said. “I couldn’t find them, I thought maybe someone had checked them out before us.”

“Yeah, I did, too,” Youngjae smiled, remembering how his fingers had brushed Jinyoung’s when they both reached for the folder in the library. “Now that we have them, though, I think we should start rehearsing.”

“Yes! Yes, we definitely should, the inauguration of the art gallery is in six days,” Jieun said, looking a bit worried. “Let’s select the ones we will play.”

With a gesture of her hand, she indicated for Youngjae to bring his chair closer so they could look at the sheets together, and after a beat, he did so.

They spent about twenty minutes deciding on which pieces to play. Jieun seemed to know them very well, and when she commented that Schubert was one of her favourite composers, Youngjae understood her dedication.

“I’m actually happy I got paired up with you, you know,” she said at one point, resting her elbow on the table and taking a sip of her latte.

“Me? Why?” Youngjae mumbled, taken aback by the sudden confession.

“You’re one of the best musicians I’ve ever seen,” she told him. “And I’m not saying this lightly. I think very highly of myself in that aspect.” She grinned.

Youngjae blushed.

“Oh, well, thank you, but I’m not that good.”

“Don’t be modest, Youngjae-ssi. It will not be useful in this competitive world,” she replied, shaking her head. “Sadly.”

Youngjae looked down at his lap, biting the inside of his cheek. His teachers had told him that repeatedly throughout the years, and Jaebum and Yugyeom had, too, but he had always thought there was something to improve. He had never felt that any of his performances had been _perfect_ , and had always strived to become even better. That was something that worried him, deep inside. What if he never achieved the ‘perfection’ he was hoping for? Would he always be a pianist that was never happy with his work?

“Thank you, Jieun-ssi,” he said again, the smile back on his lips. He did not want to think about that for now. “I’ll go get a coffee and then we can head to the practice room, okay?”

“Yes, sure!”

Youngjae walked to the cafeteria counter, where there was already a short queue forming, and quickly stood in line. He searched his pockets for some change and ordered another latte to go, the barman preparing it in the most apathetic way imaginable. When he finally was handed the hot beverage, Youngjae mumbled a soft “thanks” and turned around, carefully trying not to spill it on himself. The queue had grown bigger and there were students standing beside it as well, looking at the menus and lists of beverages to decide what to get. There were a couple of boys arguing —well, only one of them was, the other was keeping quiet— about why organic smoothies were healthier than normal smoothies. When Youngjae walked past them, he stepped back and almost hit Youngjae with his broad shoulder, but the quiet one grabbed him by the shirt and stopped him just in time. Youngjae had barely had time to register what happened, and just stood there, blinking.

“Hey, why are you—oh!” the bulky boy said, turning his big chocolate-coloured eyes to Youngjae. “Sorry, man, didn’t see you there.”

“I-It’s okay,” Youngjae replied, looking at them both with a smile. “Thank you.”

“That looks hot as hell, imagine if it had spilled on you!” the other continued. “By the way, is it organic?”

The other boy, the quiet one, quickly rolled his eyes and turned him around.

“Stop that, Jackson,” he mumbled in a deep voice. “Sorry about that,” he told Youngjae, bowing politely.

Youngjae bowed back.

“It’s alright, really. Thanks again,” he replied, then fled the scene with the hot latte burning his fingertips.

“Organic is better, no matter what you think!” he heard Broad Shoulders say as he left the cafeteria along with Jieun.

* * *

 Hours passed as Youngjae sat at the piano in the rehearsal room number 25, completely focused. Jieun had picked three sonatines and he had selected another three, and they were now in the middle of rehearsing the _Sonata no. 1 in D major D384_. Youngjae realised he did not find so difficult to play alongside Jieun, for she was a very versatile violinist and apparently could adapt to him rather easily. Besides, the violin was the real protagonist in the piece; the piano was merely an accompaniment.

The music slowed down to a stop, and Youngjae’s fingers lingered lightly on the keys before retreating completely. Jieun put down the violin and smiled, cheeks flushed and face slightly sweaty.

“I think we sound pretty good, don’t we?” she said.

“Yes. Not so bad for a first rehearsal,” Youngjae said, cracking his knuckles with his fingers. He pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose and glanced down at his watch. “Wow, is it really eight o’clock? We’ve been here for over four hours?”

“Yup,” Jieun replied, nodding. She started putting the violin back in its case. “Time flies when you’re having fun, huh?”

Youngjae chuckled and closed the lid on the keyboard before stretching his arms, hearing a few joints popping. It had turned out to be such a productive day and he liked it—it had given him a reason not to think about Jaebum’s strange behaviour a couple of nights prior, when he and Jinyoung had dined together. Jaebum had never said something like that. Maybe he was just joking around, as usual.

Both Jieun and him packed their stuff and exited the practice room, only to be met with Yugyeom and Jaebum waiting in the corridor, carrying a big plastic bag. The younger grinned as soon as he saw Youngjae, an excited look on his face. Jaebum only smiled in greeting, his eyes crinkling.

“Oh, hi, guys,” Youngjae said with a small smile. “What are you doing here?”

“We came to pick you up,” Jaebum replied. “We’re having dinner together tonight.”

“My mum brought me homemade food!” Yugyeom exclaimed, lifting the bag.

Jieun chuckled softly and turned to Youngjae.

“Well, seems like you guys have got yourselves a nice plan. Don’t do anything you will regret later!” she said, lightly patting Youngjae’s shoulder.

“Jieun-ssi, nice to see you,” Yugyeom said, bowing so low he could have kissed the floor.

“Nice to see you too, Yugyeom-ssi. Jaebum-ssi,” she said, nodding politely to them both. “I’ll get going now. See you tomorrow at the same time?”

Youngjae nodded.

“Yes, see you tomorrow,” he bowed.

Jieun waved goodbye and started walking down the hallway towards the stairs. Once she turned the corner and disappeared from view, Yugyeom was instantly wrapping an arm around Youngjae’s shoulders.

“How did it go? What is she like?” he asked insistently as they walked down the corridor as well. Youngjae tried to push him away. “What’s her favourite colour? And what does she smell like?”

“Yugyeom, stop harassing him,” Jaebum said calmly, grabbing Yugyeom’s collar and pulling him away from Youngjae.

“Yeah, leave me alone,” Youngjae protested. “You sound like a total creep.”

“You sound like you want Youngjae to sneak into her room and steal a pair of her dirty panties for you,” Jaebum specified.

“Ugh, shut up, hyung!” Yugyeom said, punching Jaebum in the shoulder.

“Don’t you dare touch me, you fucking punk.”

Yugyeom started cackling.

“You did the thing with your chin.”

“Sorry, what?” Jaebum glared at him.

“You’re doing it now! Youngjae, look!” Yugyeom protruded his chin, trying to imitate Jaebum with a silly voice. “ _Don’t you dare touch me, you punk, Imma beat you to a pulp if you touch my precious dongsaeng Youngjae._ ”

Jaebum chuckled, then handed the bag with the food to Youngjae.

“Hold this while I kill him.”

“What—wait! Guys!”

Youngjae had to run after both of them, holding the bag close to his chest so none of the food in the tuppers would spill out. He laughed at the top of his lungs all the way back to the dorm, feeling content and light as a cloud.

Yugyeom’s mum had brought him tuppers with rice, kimbap, kimchi, tteokbokki and japchae, all of them homemade and delicious. The three of them sat in Jaebum and Youngjae’s shared room, chatting about everything and eating until their bellies were full. Youngjae felt so full after swallowing the last roll of kimbap that he just fell against the mattress with a sigh, rubbing his stomach with a hand.

“Full already?” Jaebum asked, his cheeks full of food.

“You look like a chipmunk,” he replied, and Yugyeom laughed again.

Jaebum rolled his eyes.

“Hey, guys,” Yugyeom said, still chewing, “Today I was talking to Bambam and we heard about this really cool party.”

“What the fuck is that name?” Jaebum frowned, and Youngjae shushed him with a look.

“He’s from Thailand, but anyway, that’s not important. We were given this flyer, look.” Yugyeom opened his backpack and pulled out a piece of paper. Both Jaebum and Youngjae leaned closer to read it.

“Ah, I’ve heard about this one,” Jaebum said. “It’s for the whole campus. I think it will be held in the sports complex.”

“Yes, that’s the one,” Yugyeom confirmed.

“Hey, how come you find out about all these parties and stuff and I never know?” Youngjae frowned.

“We’re just not always sitting in the library,” Yugyeom teased, shrugging. Youngjae threw a pillow at him.

“Did you say it’s for the _whole_ campus, Jaebum?”

“It is,” Jaebum nodded, turning to him with a knowing smile on his face. The kind of smile that says _I know what you’re thinking and you’re a naughty one._ “I suppose people from all faculties will be attending.”

“We should go!” Yugyeom said, but Youngjae backed off.

“I don’t think so, no. Besides, here it says it’s next Thurdsay. That’s the day of the inauguration, too.”

“It won’t take place at the same time, though,” Jaebum countered. “Come on, let’s go and have some fun. It’ll be nice to unwind a little.”

“But… I’ve got so much work to do and…”

“To hell with work, it’s just one night! You’d be sleeping otherwise, not working,” Yugyeom insisted. “Bambam and I are going together.”

“Oh, _are you_?” Jaebum smirked. Youngjae slapped his arm.

“Yes, and you should come, too, Youngjae.”

Youngjae looked at them both, who were looking back at him expectantly. The smile on Jaebum’s face was an encouraging one. Maybe it was not so bad an idea, after all. He could ask Jinyoung if he was attending, now that he had his number. Maybe he would not have a chance like that in a while.

Oh, fuck it.

“Fine, I’ll go,” he gave in. Jaebum gave him a wink.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay first of all I AM IN LOVE WITH THE NEW ALBUM AND MV OMG DID U GUYS LIKE IT BECAUSE IT. IS. AMAZEBALLS (๑♡⌓♡๑)
> 
> Ahem, anyway, new chapter! This is a longer one to compensate for the lack of updates, but as I've already said, I'm starting my phd thesis this year and it's freaking hectic. Even though my inspiration goes MIA sometimes, writing this fic gives me so much joy so there will always be an update for you guys. 
> 
> Also, what's your favourite song in the album? 'Face' is my personal fave, but all of them are amazing ♥


	6. Chapter 6

“Youngjae-ssi, are you alright?” Wheein’s mother asked with a hint of concern in her voice. The lesson had just finished and Youngjae, who was running on just three hours of sleep, was about to leave the house.

“Ah, yes, Mrs Jeong. I’m okay, just a bit tired, is all.”

“Don’t overwork yourself, Youngjae-ssi. I know you’re a student and all, but you must rest as well,” she told him, lightly patting his shoulder.

He smiled weakly, the most convincing smile he could manage, and bowed politely.

“Thank you, Mrs Jeong. I’ll remember that.”

She nodded, and after a moment’s hesitation, closed the door a bit behind herself.

“How… how is Wheein progressing? Is she doing well?” she whispered.

Youngjae looked up at her.

“Well… she is. Rather slowly though, but she is.” He paused. “Has she ever tried playing the piano before? By herself, I mean, not with a teacher.”

Mrs Jeong shook her head.

“No, I don’t think she ever has. Why?”

Youngjae pursed his lips, then shook his head as well.

“Oh, no reason. I was just curious, maybe that is why she is learning slowly,” he said, smiling. “It’s not a problem for now, though.”

Mrs Jeon seemed relieved. They said their goodbyes and Youngjae hurried to the bus stop, not wanting to miss the bus to the campus. It was late but still rather early for dinner, so he sat back and put on his earbuds to listen to some music. It was a thirty minute long ride, so he was glad he had brought his iPod with him. Perhaps Mrs Jeong was right, after all. He probably needed to relax and get some proper rest. Thankfully it was Saturday, so he could sleep in for a bit longer the next day.

 _Bittersweet Symphony_ started playing and Youngjae smiled, getting comfortable in his window seat. The bus was always empty at that hour, so he enjoyed the quiet while he could. After a minute or so someone sat behind him, but he paid no mind at all. He was solely focused on the music and the beautiful sunset that was taking place outside the window, with its vibrant purples, oranges, yellows and pinks. It was absolutely astonishing.

Youngjae tried not to think too much about what Jaebum had said the night he and Jinyoung ate ramyun together, but it kept coming back. It had felt strange, the whole situation, and he could not shake that feeling off. Jaebum had never kissed him like that, or said such soft words. Normally, whenever he said something tender or soft, it was in such a distinct tone that Youngjae knew how to interpret it, but that night… it had been so different. _I’m always here for you, Youngjae,_ he had said. The words repeated themselves over and over in Youngjae’s head, until he had to turn the volume up so high it drowned them out.

The sun had already hidden behind the horizon when Youngjae got off the bus. He still had his earbuds on, so he did not notice when someone else stood behind him to get off as well. As a result, he was shoved forward and almost tripped, grabbing onto a nearby signpost so as not to lose his balance. Annoyed, he took off one earbud and turned around, only to be met with a hooded figure that was carrying a huge sports bag.

“Oh, I’m very sorry,” the other boy said in a deep voice. Youngjae could not see his face properly. “I bumped my bag against you. Are you okay?”

“Y-Yeah,” Youngjae replied, slightly confused.

“I’m sorry,” the boy mumbled, bowing again before rushing off. He seemed to be in a hurry.

Youngjae watched him walk away, noticing the print on the back of the sweatshirt he was wearing—it was the head of a roaring lion in white, with the words _Seoul University Lions_ written underneath it.

* * *

 “Do you really have to go?” Jaebum murmured sleepily against his neck the next morning, slurring the words. Youngjae tried to move, but that only caused the other to tighten his grip around him.

“I do, otherwise I’ll be late,” Youngjae murmured. “Jaebum, let me go.”

“But you’re warm.”

“And you’re being clingy.”

“Don’t talk back at your hyung, you insolent punk.” Jaebum smacked Youngjae’s arse.

Youngjae managed to break free from Jaebum’s strong grasp and turned around to tickle him. The older squirmed and laughed, his chest heaving with pants as he tried to push Youngjae away.

“Stop! Stop, for fuck’s sake!”

“You’re not even trying, Jaebummie,” Youngjae laughed, pulling back and finally getting out of the bed. Jaebum fell against the mattress, still chuckling.

“You’re mean,” he protested. “You know I’m ticklish. It’s not fair!”

“I learned from the best.” Youngjae winked at him before disappearing into the bathroom.

He took a quick shower and headed out despite Jaebum’s protests. It was a Sunday morning and the campus was incredibly quiet, but he still had to rehearse with Jieun for their upcoming performance. They were supposed to meet at 9 o’clock in room 25, and when Youngjae got there at 8:55, Jieun was already waiting by the door.

“You’re early, Jieun-ssi,” he said, bowing softly. “Have you been waiting long?”

“Not really,” she replied, smiling. She looked exhausted. “Shall we start? I’ve already borrowed the key.”

“Sure.”

She unlocked the door and they walked into the now familiar room. The piano was placed by the window, and like a moth drawn by a light bulb, Youngjae quickly went to it and sat down. Silence flooded the small room as they unpacked their stuff and arranged the sheet music where they had left off the previous day, but it was not an uncomfortable silence at all. Jieun was focused on tuning her violin, her slender hands gracefully pulling at the strings and adjusting them so that they sounded the way she wanted them to. It was such a calming sight, Youngjae thought. He was glad to discover that Jaebum was not the only one he could comfortably play with. And Jieun did not seem to mind the silence at all either, which was a plus.

Once they were ready, they started playing. They were focused, so it went as smoothly as ever, Youngjae’s fingers dancing over the piano keys and Jieun’s bow caressing the violin's strings. The timing was perfect, the melody enthralling, and it was enough to free Youngjae’s mind from all the worrisome thoughts that had been filling it lately. He forgot about Jaebum, Wheein’s lessons, the fast-approaching party and even about Jinyoung. There was only music in his mind, and that was what he loved most about it—the chance to escape everything.

It was not until a couple of hours later that they decided to take a break. Youngjae pulled his hands back from the keyboard, sighing and cracking his knuckles.

“I think I need some coffee,” Jieun stated, putting her violin down. “Rehearsing on a Sunday morning was probably not the best idea.”

“Quite right,” Youngjae agreed with a nod, getting up from his seat before putting on his parka.

“Shall I get you anything?” Jieun offered, grabbing her purse.

Youngjae’s phone vibrated a couple of times in his pocket. He quickly shook his head.

“Oh, no, you don’t need to. I think I’m getting a call, so you go ahead.”

“Okay, let’s meet here in, say... thirty minutes?”

“Sure.”

Jieun wrapped her pink scarf around her neck and left the room, not without telling Youngjae to lock the door when he left. He slipped the keys into his pocket and pulled out his phone, eager to read the texts.

_PJY: Youngjae? This is Jinyoung_

_PJY: Are you awake? I know it’s early for a Sunday, but if you’re around campus, would you like to meet up for coffee?_

_PJY: If you’re not busy ofc_

With a bright smile on his face, Youngjae hastened to reply.

_ARS: Hi, Jinyoung-ssi! I was just thinking about you_

_ARS: I am rehearsing for an upcoming recital but I have a 30 min break, is that okay?_

_PJY: Oh sure!!_ _J_ _Are you in your faculty building?_

_ARS: Yup_

_PJY: Stay there then, I’ll get the coffee. See you in five_

Surprised, Youngjae blinked down at his phone. Jinyoung was buying them coffee? Well, at least it was a good opportunity to ask him whether he was attending the party next Thursday or not. He searched his pockets once again to make sure he had everything he needed, then walked out of the room and locked the door with the key. As he walked down the stairs to the ground floor, he already spotted Jinyoung waiting outside the building, a cup of coffee in each hand and a thick grey scarf wrapped around his neck. His cheeks were pink as he turned his face to Youngjae, a wide smile pulling at his lips.

“Hi,” he finally said when they were face to face, handing one of the cups to Youngjae. “I forgot to ask you what you liked, so I just got you the same. Do you like Americano?”

“Oh, of course,” Youngjae said with a nod. Black coffee was maybe a little bit too strong for his taste, but he could deal with that. Plus, he needed the energy boost. “Thank you so much, Jinyoung-ssi.”

“Just Jinyoung, please,” the other said, nodding politely.

“Sorry, I keep forgetting.” Youngjae took a sip of his coffee, trying not to make a face at how hot and bitter it was. Jinyoung had had such a lovely gesture and he did not want to ruin it.

They sat on a nearby bench underneath a willow tree, the cool breeze brushing their cheeks and messing up their hair. Jinyoung sat with his legs crossed in a very elegant and laid-back manner, while Youngjae just sat there rather stiffly, holding the coffee cup with both hands.

“So, Youngjae, how are the piano lessons going? And, well, life in general?” Jinyoung asked after a moment, looking interested.

“Well, the piano lessons are going well, even though I think my pupil is facing some… personal hardships, I’d say,” Youngjae replied, thoughtful. “I think she hates the piano, but tries to learn so as not to disappoint her family. And as for my life, it’s been reduced to classes, rehearsals and having an irregular sleeping schedule. How about you?”

“Wow. How old was she, fourteen, I think you told me? And she already has it that fucked up.” Jinyoung raised his eyebrows, sipping his coffee. He licked his lips absently, and Youngjae did stare this time. “My life isn’t as interesting as yours, though. I’ve just been going to class and writing a couple of research papers on Shakespeare’s sonnets.”

“She’s thirteen, actually, but yeah. Maybe that makes it even worse.” Youngjae sighed, feeling sorry for Wheein. However, now that he was involved in her life in some way or another, he could not just walk out without at least trying to help her. He was determined to get to the root of her problem, but that was an issue to worry about later. “You’re getting published already?”

“Published? No, not yet. These are just for class, but they do get graded. And the professor is quite the picky one, so you need to be extra careful. Now that I think about it, it’s very similar to trying to get published.” Jinyoung chuckled. “Anyway, there’s something I wanted to ask you, Youngjae.”

That caught Youngjae’s attention at once, and he immediately turned his wandering eyes to Jinyoung’s dark orbs.

“Oh? What is it?” he asked, trying to sound nonchalant.

Jinyoung took a breath through his nose. He looked like he was trying to find a proper way to put his thoughts into words.

“Have you heard about this party that’s taking place next Thursday?”

Youngjae’s heart did a backflip in his chest. He was caught mid-sip and had to try very hard not to cough.

“Um, yes, I have. Jaebum told me about it, why?”

“I just wanted to know if you’re going.”

“You don’t have anyone to go with?” Youngjae asked, mildly surprised.

Jinyoung shrugged.

“Well, I’m actually going with a couple of friends, but I was merely curious.”

“Oh, I see. Then yes, I am going.” Youngjae smiled, and Jinyoung returned it with one of those half smiles of his.

“I’m sure it’s going to be a great party.”

* * *

The main room in the gallery was small but packed with people, glasses of champagne in their hands and smiles on their faces. The plain white walls were lined with photographs and different kinds of paintings, all made by art students. The last few notes of Schubert’s sonatine drifted delicately through the air, and Youngjae let them go with a sigh, eyes closed. Jieun accompanied him with the violin, her long black hair pulled up into a neat ponytail and her eyes focused on the instrument. Silence followed for a moment, and then the audience burst into a big round of applause.

Youngjae closed the lid on the keyboard and stood up from his seat, adjusting his jacket. He stood next to Jieun and shared a look of complicity with her before bowing down in gratitude.

“Thank you very much, Youngjae-ssi and Jieun-ssi,” the curator of the new gallery said, approaching them with a big smile on his face. “That was a fantastic performance. Congratulations.”

“Thank you, Mr Kim,” Youngjae said humbly.

“We had a great time,” Jieun added. “I see the inauguration went as planned.”

“Oh, and even better,” Mr Kim replied, excited. “We hadn’t planned for so many people to attend, but yes, it’s all been perfect. And your performance only made it even more so. Thanks again.”

The three of them bowed politely, and after Jieun packed her violin and they grabbed their coats, they were ready to go. The performance had given Youngjae such a big adrenaline rush that he felt ready to do just about anything, and so as he stepped out into the night air, he let out a happy sigh and checked his phone. He already had a ton of messages from Yugyeom and Jaebum.

_DefSoul: Youngjae-ah I hope you’re done blasting that piano already_

_kyum: where are u man??_

_kyum: the party’s already started!_

_DefSoul: U better not chicken out now or I’ll come get ya_

_ARS: The performance went okay thanks for asking_

_ARS: I’m on my way now btw_

“So you’re going to the party as well?” Jieun asked, buttoning up her coat. “It’s going to be huge, I’ve heard.”

Youngjae looked up from his phone.

“Yeah, I am. My friends convinced me to,” he said. “Are you going, too?”

“Yes, I think I am,” Jieun chirped with an excited smile. “We deserve a break after working so hard, Youngjae!”

“You’re right,” Youngjae said with a chuckle, giving her a high-five. “Well done, by the way! Are you going straight to the party?”

“You too! And no, not yet, I have to drop this off at the dorm,” Jieun nodded towards the violin case. “You go ahead, your friends must be waiting for you already.”

“Alright then, I’ll get going. See you later!” Youngjae bowed softly and waved goodbye, then turned around and headed straight for the sports complex, where music could already be heard.

He immediately spotted Yugyeom at the entrance—his characteristic height as well as the bright red leather jacket he was wearing only making his presence all the more evident. Jaebum and Bambam were standing next to him, the former clad in black jeans and t-shirt and the latter wearing a black sequin jacket and tight leather trousers. Yugyeom was the first to notice Youngjae.

“Hey, he’s here!” he exclaimed, waving his arm. “Youngjae!”

“Wow, guys, I feel underdressed now,” Youngjae said as he caught up to them, noticing that Bambam was wearing blue contact lenses.

“Underdressed? You’re wearing a bloody suit,” Jaebum pointed out, nodding towards Youngjae's slacks.

“Which by the way looks great on you,” Bambam added. “I like the white shirt. Simple, but classy.”

“Thank you,” Youngjae said with a smile.

“How did the inauguration go?” Jaebum asked as they all made their way into the venue, discreetly wrapping an arm around Youngjae’s waist. “You look great, by the way.”

“It was amazing. The audience was delighted,” Youngjae said, then playfully winked at Jaebum. “Oh, I know. You don’t look so bad, yourself.”

Jaebum chuckled.

“Seems like wearing a suit turns you into a flirty brat, huh?” he teased, breaking the contact once they were inside.

The place was huge and already quite packed, bright lights flashing and blinking in rhythm with the music. There were a couple of DJs playing on an elevated platform, and a bar where all the baristas wore purple waistcoats and bowties. Yugyeom laughed upon seeing them, grabbing Bambam’s arm.

“You should have applied for a job here! Look at those waistcoats.”

“Are you kidding? I’m always working, give me a damn break!” Bambam said, pretending to be offended. “Besides, purple isn’t my colour.”

“Shall I bring you something to drink?” Jaebum offered, getting Youngjae’s attention by gently squeezing his hand.

“Oh, okay. I’ll have whatever you’re having.” Youngjae asked, averting his gaze and taking a look around.

Jaebum hesitated for a moment, but then nodded and went to the bar. He came back after a while with two beers and handed one to Youngjae, who took a sip and grimaced.

“Ugh, this is bitter,” he protested, licking his lips. “Which beer is it? It’s quite strong.”

“You said you’d have the same,” Jaebum said with a shrug. “Were you looking for Jinyoung-ssi?” he asked after a moment.

Youngjae’s eyes widened.

“Shh! Don’t be so loud!”

“The music is loud enough, no one’s going to hear.” Jaebum took a long swig of beer. “Why don’t you ring him up or text him? He might be here already.”

Youngjae shrugged.

“He’s not going to hear the phone in here, the music’s too loud. Besides, we just got here, let me enjoy the party for a bit.”

“Oh, I see you’re enjoying it alright, huddled in a corner.”

Youngjae grimaced again after taking another sip of beer.

“Well, what do you suggest I do? There’s not much to do at parties like these.” He decided not to drink any more of that beer.

“Wanna play strip poker?” Jaebum suggested, then laughed out loud at the expression on Youngjae’s face. “Just kidding, just kidding. Want to dance, then?”

“Dance?” Youngjae’s eyebrows rose.

“Don’t look at me like a deer caught in the headlights, Youngjae,” Jaebum said. “I’ve seen you dance before.”

“Yeah, and I’m clumsy as fuck.”

“Nah, you’re not. You’re just self-conscious,” Jaebum said, shaking his head and grabbing Youngjae’s wrist. “Come on, let’s dance for a bit. Yugyeom and Bambam are already killing it.”

And he was right. Yugyeom and Bambam were dancing so incredibly well that a small crowd had even started to form around them, cheering and clapping. Jaebum tugged him along towards another spot by the DJs’ table, where he placed his hands on Youngjae’s hips.

“These are a bit stiff,” he mumbled. “Loosen up, you look like a stick.”

“And you sound like an aerobics instructor.”

Jaebum smirked and brought Youngjae closer, snaking an arm around his waist and tickling him with his free hand. Youngjae could not help the laugh that escaped him as he tried to free himself from the other’s grasp.

“This is my revenge for your unfair attack the other day,” Jaebum said between gritted teeth, making Youngjae squirm.

“Let me go! Jaebum, let me go now!”

“Youngjae, hi!” a third voice said from behind them and both boys turned with a start, instantly breaking apart from each other. Jinyoung was standing there with a drink in his hand, wearing dark jeans and a loose white shirt along with a black leather jacket. He looked absolutely stunning, and Youngjae could not take his eyes off him. “Oh, and hello, Jaebum-ssi.”

“Jinyoung, hello,” Youngjae finally said, shaking his head and bowing.

“Hey,” Jaebum said, lightly pushing Youngjae towards Jinyoung.

“Are you enjoying the party? It’s a huge one, huh,” Jinyoung commented.

“Yeah, it really is,” Youngjae replied, nodding. “How about you? Have you been here long?”

“No, I just got here, actually. I thought of texting you, but you probably wouldn’t hear it.”

With a smirk on his lips, Jaebum squeezed Youngjae’s shoulder.

“I gotta go for a sec, guys. The bladder is killing me,” he said, nodding at Jinyoung. “See you later.”

Before any of them could say anything, Jaebum had disappeared into the crowd. Youngjae knew he did not really have to go to the loo and that it all was a ploy to get him and Jinyoung alone, but it did not bother him. Far from it, in fact—this was the best thing that could happen. He turned to Jinyoung and both of them chuckled sheepishly.

“Is he always like that?” Jinyoung asked.

“Yup, ever since day one. What are you drinking?”

Jinyoung looked down at his cup.

“Oh, it’s just coke. I’ll move onto alcohol later,” he replied with a soft laugh. “Want some?”

He brought the cup towards Youngjae, and the younger was taking a sip before he knew it. The thought of putting his lips where Jinyoung’s had been was enough to make his heart race.

“That was good,” Youngjae said after a moment, licking his lips.

“I’m glad.” Jinyoung smiled. “So tell me, do you like dancing or do you, like me, prefer to sit down and chat?”

“I think I’m more like you, yeah.”

“Good!” Jinyoung seemed happy to hear that.

They made their way through the crowd until they stepped outside through a glass door, entering some sort of garden area decorated with benches and lanterns. It was surprisingly empty, and Youngjae quickly realised they were alone. Jinyoung threw the empty cup into a bin and approached him, his hands in the pockets of the leather jacket. Youngjae noticed the closeness but kept looking up at the dark sky, which was clear and full of stars. He knew that if he looked at Jinyoung he would turn into a flustered mess.

“There’s no moon tonight,” Jinyoung observed after a moment.

“Oh? Ah, yes, you’re right.”

A brief pause.

“Youngjae.”

“Yes?”

“Look at me.”

 _No, I don’t want to look at you and your gorgeous face,_ Youngjae thought, but turned his head towards the other anyway. Jinyoung was even closer than before, his dark orbs boring into Youngjae’s eyes.

“Look, there’s…” he lowered his voice and hesitated, looking doubtful for a split second before returning to his normal composed self. “There’s something I’ve been meaning to ask you.”

Oh. Questions again. That was something Youngjae was not good at. He fought back a shiver.

“And what is it?” he wanted to know.

Unable to hold Jinyoung’s gaze any longer, Youngjae glanced down at his plump lips. It was a mistake; that only made him even more anxious. Jinyoung licked them once and opened his mouth, then closed it and opened it again. Youngjae wished he would just spit it out already; his knees were shaking.

“You…” Jinyoung murmured, “…are you and Jaebum-ssi together?”

“What do you mean?”

Jinyoung swallowed, leaning even closer. Youngjae took half a step back.

“I mean that you seem to be very close, and I was wondering if you were, you know… in a relationship, or something,” he said, sounding a bit concerned.

Youngjae shook his head.

“Oh, no, no. We’re not,” he  laughed softly, a bit flustered. “We’re just good friends, is all. Why do you ask?”

“Really?” Jinyoung seemed relieved. “I thought I had no chance. Then, could you help me get to know him better? I am interested.”

It was as if a bucket of ice cold water had been emptied over Youngjae. He stood there, the smile frozen on his lips, until he realised he was worrying Jinyoung. With a soft chuckle, he pretended to be taken aback by the sudden request.

“Oh, wow, sorry, I thought you… well, I didn’t know you liked Jaebum!”

“Sorry if I was too blunt,” Jinyoung replied, lightly scratching the back of his neck. “I didn’t know how you would take it, being so close to him and all.”

“It’s alright, really,” Youngjae assured him, gently patting Jinyoung’s arm. He was trying so hard not to break down right there and then. Thank goodness for his great lying skills. “I can introduce you again, if you’d like.”

“You’d do that? Thank you, Youngjae.”

“No problem. Let’s go back inside.”

With a racing heart, Youngjae led Jinyoung back into the party and took him to where Jaebum was. He found his friend chatting animatedly to Bambam near the bar, and honestly hoped to god or whoever was out there that Jaebum would not see through him this time. However, as soon as Jaebum saw him approaching, concern and alarm momentarily creased his features.

“Hey guys,” Youngjae said with a bright smile before Jaebum could say anything. “This is Park Jinyoung, a friend.” Jinyoung bowed politely. “Jinyoung, these are my friends Bambam and Jaebum, though I think you guys have met before, right?”

Jaebum gave Youngjae a look, which Youngjae returned with a pleading one. _Just don’t ask_.

“Yes, I believe we have,” Jinyoung said, nodding at Jaebum again. Jaebum responded hesitantly, still worried about Youngjae.

“Yeah, how’s it going,” he mumbled, confused.

Youngjae took that chance to gently pat Jaebum’s and Jinyoung’s shoulders, smiling softly.

“Did you know that Jinyoung plays the piano as well?” he told Jaebum.

“Thank you,” Jinyoung whispered to him when he passed by, and Youngjae just gave him a nod. He was about to step away when Jaebum tried to stop him by grabbing the sleeve of his shirt.

“You okay?” he asked, his gaze trained on Youngjae’s.

Youngjae carefully pulled his arm back.

“Yeah, it's nothing, I just need to go to the loo. I drank too much coke.”

“Are you sure?”

“Why wouldn't I be? I'll be right back.” Youngjae pushed past Jaebum, making a beeline for the men’s toilets. Jaebum called after him, but Youngjae did not look back.

The toilets were empty when Youngjae closed the door and leaned against it, thanking all the gods for not collapsing right when Jinyoung asked for his help with Jaebum. How could he have been so foolish? He had been so stupid to think Jinyoung could be interested in him, of all people. At least now that he knew the truth, he could just break away. Jinyoung did not even need to know about how he really felt, obviously. He would just quietly break away until Jinyoung forgot about him. As for now, though, he needed to calm down. He walked to one of the sinks and opened the tap, washing his face with cold water several times. His reflection in the mirror stared back at him with glossy eyes.

“Fuck this!” Youngjae snapped, repeatedly slamming his fist into the tiled wall. “Fuck it, fuck it, fuck all of this!”

His screams soon turned into sobs and he leaned against the sink, trying to calm down and find a way to leave the party unnoticed. He was washing his face again when the sound of someone retching and collapsing inside one of the stalls startled him. Youngjae froze on the spot and turned around sharply, facing the closed door.

“Hello?” he murmured. There was no reply. “Is anyone in there?”

A muffled groan came from inside. Youngjae approached the stall.

“Who’s in there? Are… are you okay?”

Again, there was no reply. Youngjae noticed the door was unlocked and tentatively pushed it open, afraid of what he would find inside.

There was a boy kneeling on the tiled floor, pale as a ghost. He had puked all over the toilet seat and was now leaning against it with half-lidded eyes, sweat covering his face and making his dark brown hair stick to his forehead. He was wearing a dark blue sweatshirt with the _Seoul University Lions_ print on the back. Youngjae gasped at the sight and fought back the gag reflex, covering his mouth and nose with a hand.

 _I need to get out of here_ , he thought, stepping back. The boy had clearly had a little too much to drink and seemed to be completely out of it. Youngjae thought he would ask for help and then leave; he had his own problems to deal with and did not need any more shit on his plate, thank you very much.

“I’ll go get help, hold up,” he said hurriedly, but something made him stop dead in his tracks.

The boy was holding out his hand towards him.

“W-wait…” he faintly mumbled, coughing. “Please.”

Youngjae looked down at him. There was a pleading look on the boy’s eyes, a desperate call for help.

He could not leave him there.

Youngjae knelt down beside him and wrapped an arm around his torso, slowly helping him up. The boy seemed to be constantly jumping in and out of consciousness, so he was mostly a dead weight in Youngjae’s arms. He was also slightly taller, which made it all the more difficult, but Youngjae was not about to give up. He brought the boy to the sink and splashed his face with ice cold water a few times, hoping to wake him up, and it seemed to do the trick for a bit.

“Please, wake up,” he murmured, gently patting the boy’s cheek. “Hey, come back, please. What’s your name?”

“H-huh…?”

“Your name, what’s your name?”

The boy looked up at him again. There was such intensity and vulnerability in his gaze that Youngjae’s heart shrunk in his chest.

“M-Mark,” the other mumbled, slurring the word. “I-It’s Mark.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay guys I'm terribly sorry for my absence bc I've been hella busy but here's a LONG ASS CHAPTER TO MAKE UP FOR IT *confetti* AND THERE'S MARK IN IT!!! *fireworks* 
> 
> Also I hope you can forgive me for all the hell I've put Youngjae through in this chapter but it was kind of necessary ;_; sorry Youngjae my bb ily sm
> 
> Anyways thank you for reading as always, and see you in the next chapter ♥


	7. Chapter 7

“Mark,” Youngjae echoed, his voice merely above a whisper. The other responded with a groan, his eyes falling closed again. “No, no, hey, come back. Don’t go.”

He got more cold water and splashed it onto Mark’s face and nape, getting his hair and the front of his sweatshirt wet.

“We need to take you home,” Youngjae murmured to himself, looking around and trying to remember where the nearest exit was. He hoped Jaebum was not waiting for him outside the toilets, or that would be another interesting explanation to give.

Mark’s dark brown eyes opened again, unfocused. He looked up at Youngjae and made an effort to stand up straighter on his own, his knees shaking. Youngjae held him upright by keeping an arm hooked underneath Mark’s.

“Well done. How do you feel?” Youngjae asked him. “Would you like me to call an ambulance?”

At that, Mark started.

“No, no, no ambulance,” he said, shaking his head quickly. “I-I’m fine.”

“You’re clearly not fine.”

Mark looked at his reflection in the mirror and did not seem to be very alarmed. How many times had he seen himself like this, then?

“Just… please,” Mark continued, making an effort to pronounce each syllable without slurring, “…help me to the dorm?”

Youngjae considered it for a split second. He could always call an ambulance without Mark noticing, seeing how out of it he was. He did not want to get in even more trouble, though.

“Come,” he said softly, holding Mark in a somewhat tight hold for fear that he collapsed again. “Try to stay with me, Mark. What’s your dorm?”

“Uhh… green building.”

The same as Jinyoung’s.

“Got it.”

Mark looked like he was about to puke his guts out again, but managed to stay more or less awake. He tried to pull the hood of his sweatshirt over his head a few times, but kept failing and it got stuck behind his ears. Youngjae helped him and gently pulled the hood over his chocolate-coloured hair, the action causing something to click inside his brain. That was the boy who had accidentally bumped his sports bag against him a few days prior, while both were getting off the bus. Yes, there was no mistake. He was even wearing the same sweatshirt.

There was a side exit near the toilets, even though they had to make it past the bar to get out. Youngjae pulled Mark closer against himself, trying to ignore the few weird looks they were getting, and pushed insistently though the crowd. Mark’s head hung low and he remained quiet as Youngjae tried to shield him from getting pushed or stomped on, solely focused on not being spotted by any of his friends.

“So you’re majoring in music too, Jaebum-ssi?” Jinyoung asked, taking a sip of beer and leaning against the bar.

“Yeah,” Jaebum replied vaguely, his eyes briefly scanning the crowd before returning to Jinyoung. “I play the piano and the guitar and sometimes I sing, too.”

“I know. Youngjae told me you’re very good.”

“He’s just being polite.” Jaebum set down his beer on the bar, jaw tight. “He always is.”

Jinyoung nodded, his cheeks already a soft pink colour.

“That’s true. How did you two meet, again?”

Jaebum looked up at him, taking a breath through his nose. He needed to calm down.

“I moved to the house next to his when I was ten years old,” he explained, a tiny smile on his lips.

“Oh, really?” Jinyoung smiled back. “So you’re not from Seoul, then?”

“No, I’m from Mokpo. Well, originally from Goyang, but we moved to Mokpo when I was little, so.” Jaebum took a long sip of beer. “Where are you from?”

“My family lives in Jinhae,” Jinyoung replied. “Sometimes I miss the sea.”

“Well, you have a pretty big river here to make up for that.”

A soft chuckle escaped Jinyoung’s lips, creases forming at the corners of his eyes.

Meanwhile, Youngjae groaned upon spotting Jaebum and Jinyoung still at the bar. There was a high chance of being caught, but he really had to take Mark out of there before things got worse. Taking a deep breath, he held Mark tightly again and just made a run for it, walking behind a large group of people that were trying to order something at the bar. He kept his gaze fixed on his shoes and in the blink of an eye they were crossing the exit, a sigh of relief escaping Youngjae’s lips.

“You still with me?” he murmured to Mark, who was now looking up, blinking as if he had just woken up from a nap.

“Yeah, yeah,” the other mumbled.

“Good, let’s go.”

They started walking away from the party, the muffled music slowly vanishing in the distance until there was nothing but silence and crickets. At the exit, though, Jaebum was watching them go, Youngjae’s coat folded over his arm.

It was a very cold night and Youngjae was shivering against Mark, who was radiating an unusual amount of heat. Once they were far enough from the sports complex, Youngjae brought Mark to a bench and sat him down, gently placing a hand on his forehead.

“You’re burning,” he murmured, more to himself than to the other.

“I’ll be okay,” Mark said, attempting a smile. “I’ve been through worse.”

“That’s what everyone always says,” Youngjae said, rolling his shoulders and standing up again. “What’s your room?”

“Uhh… 74,” Mark said hesitantly after a few moments. “Yeah, 74.”

Then, with a sudden jolt, he bent over and puked all over a flower bed. Youngjae rushed to hold his forehead, gently pushing his hair backwards.

“You’re not well,” he said when Mark was finally done retching. “You need to get to a hospital.”

Mark wiped his mouth and tried to stand up, wobbling. He took half a step and brought a hand to his forehead, groaning.

“No, I don’t want to!” he shouted between gritted teeth, his eyes squeezed shut. He held out a hand towards Youngjae, who quickly took the hint and grabbed it, steadying him.

“Fine, fine. Calm down. I’ll take you home.”

The dorm was dark and silent when they arrived. It was nearly two in the morning, and the few students who had not attended the party were probably sleeping already. Youngjae pulled a half asleep Mark along towards the stairs, panting from the effort. He looked up at the flight of stairs and figured that if that dorm was anything like his, room number 74 would be on the third floor.

There was only one way to do this, and Youngjae was not in what one would call a great shape, but he had to at least try.

“Up you go,” he mumbled, bending down a little and pulling one of Mark’s arms over his shoulder.

“What the fuck—” the other protested, his eyes covered by the hood. “I can’t see anything! I am fainting!”

Youngjae hooked his hands underneath Mark’s thighs and carried him on his back, turning his face to look at him.

“Shhh! Stop screaming or you’ll wake the entire campus up!” he growled. “Keep quiet, I’m just going to carry you up the stairs.”

Mark seemed to be happy with that explanation, to which he simply responded with a long sigh, resting his head on Youngjae’s shoulder.

“I hope you don’t puke now,” Youngjae murmured, going one step at a time.

“Me too.”

The climb to the third floor was slow but sure, as well as extremely tiring for Youngjae, who was already panting and sweating by the time they got there. Mark slid off his back and shuffled towards the nearest wall, bumping his shoulder against it.

“You’re not very ato… atl… atmos…” he tried before shaking his head quickly and letting out a frustrated groan.

“Athletic? No, I am not.” Youngjae wrapped an arm around him again and led him to room 74. “Do you have your key with you?”

Mark nodded, searching all his pockets until he produced the card, which he gave to Youngjae. With a sigh of relief, Youngjae opened the door and led the other to the bed he recognised as his, which was covered with a simple deep blue duvet.

“There. Finally.” Youngjae let out a deep sigh, running a hand through his hair and watching as Mark crashed face-first onto the mattress.

There was a long moment of awkward silence. Youngjae shifted his weight from one leg to the other, trying not to remember the events of the party. He tried not to let the pain come flooding in again, desperate to focus his thoughts on something else.

“You haven’t brushed your teeth,” he mumbled, to which Mark replied with a dismissive groan.

Youngjae took a look around, noticing that the other bed, which was probably where Mark’s roommate slept, was neatly made and empty. There were lots of sports trophies and medals on the shelves on both sides of the room, sports bags next to each bed and different items of sportswear thrown about the room. There were also many flags and pictures of basketball teams and players pinned to the walls.

The light was not turned on, and only the faint glow of the lamp posts outside crept into the room through the curtains. Youngjae stood in the middle of the room, the silence slowly becoming more and more unbearable. His throat tightened upon remembering Jinyoung’s words. _Then, could you help me get to know him better? I am interested._ They echoed in his head, the moment repeating itself over and over in his mind until he shook himself out of it, eyes shut tightly as if in extreme pain. He could not break down now, not in a complete stranger’s dorm room.

“You were crying,” he heard Mark say, voice low and tired.

“W-What?” Youngjae blurted out, taken by surprise.

Mark was slowly trying to sit up on the bed, his eyes half-lidded. The hood had fallen from his head and now his hair was askew.

“In the toilets,” he carried on. “Back at the party.”

“I wasn’t crying.” Youngjae’s tone was sharp.

“Who made you cry?”

Jinyoung’s beautiful smiling face, the sound of his laugh, the touch of his hand when Youngjae had given him Schubert’s music sheets, all of it came back at once. Youngjae held it in as best as he could, even though it was similar to trying to hide the pain of a broken bone.

“Nobody.” He looked over at the door. “You should get some sleep.”

Mark watched him for a few moments until exhaustion seemed to get the best of him. Sighing, he gently reached out for Youngjae’s hand and lied down on the bed, tugging him closer.

Youngjae’s first impulse was to pull his hand free and leave, but a sudden pang of regret changed his mind. Mark looked incredibly fragile lying there, eyes closed and lips slightly parted. Youngjae usually knew better than to feel pity for a stranger who would probably not like being pitied at all (even while being drunk as hell), but that situation inevitably took him back to when he was little. He would accidentally step on a flower or a tiny ant, or would see some other kid doing it, and then would sob uncontrollably in his mother’s arms, feeling sorry for the poor thing. He used to feel the pain of others like it was his own until he met Jaebum and that propensity disappeared as they grew up. Youngjae was sure it had vanished for good, at least until that very moment. He let himself be pulled down to the bed, eager to forget about all that had happened that night and just bask in that newfound empathy. Mark moved to the other side of the bed to give him more room, but offered him his hand in a comforting gesture.

Youngjae took it and rested his head on the pillow, eyes closing and chest full of a strange feeling of serenity.

* * *

Jaebum opened his eyes at the sound of a knock on the door. After a quick glance at his phone and seeing that it was only 7:05 AM, he got up from the bed and promptly opened the door.

“Heya!” Yugyeom exclaimed with a giggle, raising his arms. The sleeves of his leather jacket were tied around his head and his shirt was open. He reeked of alcohol.

Without a single word, Jaebum pulled him into the room and closed the door, not wanting to make a fuss when the dorms were filling with hungover students coming back from the party.

Yugyeom seemed confused, wobbling a little on his feet as he recognised his surroundings. He pointed at Youngjae’s empty bed.

“Where’s Youngjae?” he asked, pouting.

“I’ve been asking myself the same question.” Jaebum sat him down on a chair and untied the jacket from around his head.

“You don’t know where he is?” Yugyeom raised his voice. “What if someone murdered him?!”

Jaebum clamped a hand over the younger’s mouth.

“Keep it down, Yugyeom, for fuck’s sake. Nobody murdered anybody.” He sniffed through his nose, grimacing. “God, you stink. How much did you drink?”

Yugyeom shrugged his shoulders, a goofy smile on his lips.

“Enough to have a good time, Jaebummie!” he grabbed Jaebum’s shoulders and shook them until Jaebum pulled himself free.

“Christ, you need to chill. Where’s your roommate?”

“Jungkook? He brought a girl to the room, I’m stuck out here.” Yugyeom giggled again, covering his blushing face with his hands. “I heard them. It sounded like they were running a marathon.”

Jaebum rolled his eyes.

“You can stay here if you want. You clearly need to sleep it off.” He pointed at his own bed.

Yugyeom nodded and flung himself onto it, the mattress creaking under his weight. He fell asleep within seconds and snored softly into the pillow, murmuring nonsense.

Jaebum sighed and approached Youngjae’s bed, where his coat lay. He pulled out his phone and opened the chat he shared with his friend, reading once again over the unanswered texts.

_[1:27 AM] DefSoul: Are you okay? Still in the loo?_

_[1:36 AM] DefSoul: Youngjae-ah_

_[1:37 AM] DefSoul: I’ve got your coat_

_[1:49 AM] DefSoul: Bambam is twerking, I have seen hell_

_[2:01 AM] DefSoul: Where are u?_

_[2:25 AM] DefSoul: Okay I’m worried now, call back when you read this_

It seemed that Youngjae had not even opened the chat yet, since the messages remained unseen. Jaebum had not mentioned it in the texts, but he could not stop wondering why Youngjae had left without even saying a word, dragging someone out of the party and just walking away with them. Who was that boy? And most importantly, why had Youngjae gone with him? Why had Youngjae made such an effort to avoid Jaebum and hide the fact that he was leaving the party with somebody?

Not that Jaebum cared who Youngjae left the party with.

Youngjae had clearly been distressed when he had introduced him to Jinyoung. Jaebum was not an idiot; he had been able to notice just by looking at the younger’s face. It was obvious that the alone time with Jinyoung had not gone as planned, and Jaebum had wanted to punch that prick in the face for even daring to hurt his dongsaeng’s feelings. Youngjae would not have wanted that to happen, though, being the caring soul he was, so Jaebum controlled himself and even agreed to trade numbers with Jinyoung. However, none of that mattered when Youngjae still had not come back.

“Fuck, where are you?” he murmured to himself, itching for answers.

* * *

When Mark woke up, the room was still empty and Jackson, his roommate, was nowhere to be found. His head was spinning as he sat up, a huge headache having made itself at home within it.

“Ughh…” he squinted at the bright light filling the room, clumsily getting out of bed to draw the curtains over the windows. Much better.

It was then that he noticed his bed was empty, too. He remembered drinking some pretty heavy stuff with Jackson and the rest of the team at the party, then almost passing out in the bathroom. There was a gap between that and the memory of being limp all over, carried on someone’s back up the stairs.

Someone had brought him to his room, and it had not been Jackson. Mark realised he did not know the person’s name—he remembered a soft face, a tiny mole under the right eye and a distinct smell of cotton flowers. That boy had carried him all the way from the party to his dorm room, and had even lied on the bed with him. Mark found it frustrating that he did not even know the other’s name. All he remembered was that beautiful, angelic face.

With a shake of his head, he grabbed a bottle of water and took some paracetamol, hoping to keep the headache at bay. Instead of going back to bed and knowing that he would sleep until the evening if he did, he went to the bathroom to take a shower. His mouth tasted funny and he felt sticky all over, so he spent a good forty minutes under the shower spray.

* * *

Youngjae sat down and opened the lid on the piano keyboard, flexing his fingers to warm them up before starting to play. The melody of Nick Cave’s song _Into My Arms_ started to bounce off the walls of room 17, Youngjae’s personal hideout. He knew the song by heart; it was one of his favourites, and the one he resorted to when going through a particularly hard time.

He had left Mark’s room early, at around six thirty in the morning, trying not to wake him up. After the tumultuous events from the previous night, all Youngjae wanted was to be alone for a while. He had read all of Jaebum’s texts as they popped up in his phone’s screen, but had not opened the chat to mark them as read. He just did not feel like talking, not even to Jaebum.

That was the best way for him to deal with his problems. Instead of letting them affect other people by letting them out, it was easier for him to bottle them up inside and let go of them one by one through the piano. It was therapeutic, cathartic. Youngjae was so immersed in the piece that he did not even care that he was crying again, tears falling from his eyes and sliding into the spaces between the piano keys.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Pokes head around the corner* Bet u weren't expecting me today! 
> 
> I finished writing this chapter sooner than expected so I thought I'd just go ahead and post it. I'm actually so glad to finally have Mark in the story, you guys have no idea (ᗒᗊᗕ)
> 
> Have a nice day, peeps! Thanks for your lovely comments ♥
> 
> PS. I thought I'd share with you all The Song That Inspired Me To Write This Fic, which is [this one](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j-xxeuDm5-I). You'll know why if you read the lyrics!


	8. Chapter 8

Youngjae had not set foot in his dorm room for over twenty-four hours. His phone kept vibrating in his pocket with texts and missed calls from Jaebum, Yugyeom and Bambam, but he just could not be bothered to reply. He felt numb all over, his fingers heavy against the keyboard. With an off-key note, he abruptly stopped playing and sighed.

He was exhausted. Not only physically, but emotionally as well. It was like having a gash in the middle of his chest, open and bleeding incessantly. And every time he remembered it, it only grew deeper and the pain increased. Youngjae wondered how long would it be until the pain reached its peak, or if it ever would.

With a groan, he rubbed his eyes, realising that he would have to come back to the dorm sooner or later. He also knew that Jaebum would most likely be there waiting for an explanation, and he was definitely not in the mood for explaining. He just wanted to shower and maybe sleep for a week.

“Christ, Youngjae, get a grip,” he murmured to himself, momentarily shaking himself out of the spiral or negative thoughts. It was just heartbreak. A kind of heartbreak he had never experienced before, that was for sure, but it certainly did not mean death.

He would get out of it.

He was just not sure how. Or when.

A few moments later, Youngjae gathered his stuff and left the practice room. He had spent the last eight hours there, with only a small water bottle from which he drunk every so often. He had played all the pieces he knew by heart, one after the other, hoping to find some comfort in them. Eventually, though, he had left the room feeling as shit as when he had entered it.

As he walked through the campus and saw everyone going about their lives as if nothing had happened the night before, Youngjae felt a slight pang of envy. He wanted to feel like that, too. He wanted his life to go on like usual. He wished he had never gone to the party, wished he had never gone to that coffee shop with Yugyeom a couple of months prior; but most importantly, he just wished he had never met Jinyoung.

Some students gave him weird looks as he passed them on his way to the dormitory, seeing that he was still clad in the suit he had worn for the inauguration, hair messy and dark circles underneath his eyes. Youngjae did not even look at them and headed straight to his room, hoping to find it empty. It was four o’clock in the afternoon, and he knew Jaebum had class every Friday at that hour. 

Upon opening the door, Youngjae barely had time to set a foot in the room before a strong hand grabbed him by the shirt and pulled him inside. Jaebum closed the door and pinned him against it, holding his shoulders and looking right into his eyes.

“Where the fuck have you been?!” he growled, his jaw incredibly tight. “I’ve been worried sick, Youngjae, for christ’s sake. Do you not check your phone?”

Youngjae watched him for a long moment, his throat tightening. The vein on Jaebum’s forehead looked like it was about to burst.

“You should be in class,” he mumbled eventually.

“Fuck you,” Jaebum spat. “Where were you? I was about to call the fucking cops.”

Youngjae removed Jaebum’s hands from his shoulders.

“I’m alright, I just needed to be alone for a while. God, stop worrying already, I’m not a child.”

He tried to step past Jaebum, but the other quickly stood in the way. his voice was shaky when he spoke.

“You have no idea how worried I’ve been, Youngjae, don’t you dare say that to me.”

Youngjae looked up at him, noticing Jaebum’s expression for the first time. He looked pale, sleep-deprived and just exhausted. He had clearly gone through a great deal of stress in the past few hours. Youngjae’s chest tightened with guilt.

 Before he knew it, his lips were pressed to Jaebum’s, one hand gently cupping the back of the older’s head. Jaebum was surprised at first, but eventually returned the kiss, his hands naturally resting on Youngjae’s hips. Youngjae could tell that Jaebum had questions and was trying to break the kiss to speak, so he just pulled back and shook his head slowly, resting his forehead against Jaebum’s.

“Please,” he mumbled. Jaebum understood immediately and simply kissed him again, pulling him closer.

Youngjae could not even imagine how horrible the past hours had been for Jaebum. He had skipped all his classes and had even searched the whole dormitory and the faculty building, hoping to find Youngjae curled up or asleep in a corner. The fact that Youngjae had not bothered to answer his phone was bad, but the idea that he could have spent the night with the boy he had left the party with made Jaebum’s blood boil.

With a bit of impatience, he divested Youngjae of that stupidly attractive suit he had worn the night before. He let himself be undressed as well, revelling in the way his dongsaeng’s pupils widened when his body was exposed.

Youngjae moaned prettily, legs spread wantonly as Jaebum nibbled at the tender flesh of his thighs. With a smirk, Jaebum briefly remembered the first time he had sucked Youngjae off—it had been on Youngjae’s seventeenth birthday. They had been in Youngjae’s room after dinner, playing video games in the dark. The younger’s parents were downstairs, and it had been so hard for him to keep quiet that Jaebum had had to shove two fingers in his mouth.

Youngjae brought his hand down and threaded his fingers through Jaebum’s soft hair, bringing him back to reality by pushing his head down a bit further. Jaebum moaned and took a few more inches of Youngjae’s cock in his mouth, gripping his pale thighs a little bit tighter.

“Jaebum, fuck me,” Youngjae breathed as he threw his head back, face and neck flushed pink. “Please, fuck me.”

He needed it so badly. He wanted to be fucked into oblivion; he craved the numbness like a drug. He just wanted to _forget_.

Jaebum felt that desperation in the way Youngjae pulled at him, with a roughness he had never seen before in the younger. There were still many questions haunting his thoughts, but Jaebum pushed them all aside for the sake of that moment. He let Youngjae straddle his lap and ride him, his hips moving in such a tantalising way that Jaebum could not take his eyes off them.

Youngjae moaned loudly when he orgasmed. Jaebum did not stop him this time, and just cradled him in his arms afterwards as they drowsily caught their breaths.

* * *

“Man, you look like shit,” Yugyeom observed the next day as Youngjae and Jaebum sat with him in the cafeteria.

“Why, thank you, Yugyeom,” Youngjae replied with a dry chuckle.

“And we were worried as fuck, by the way. Don’t ever do that again.”

“Don’t sweat it, I’ve already given him the talk,” Jaebum said.

“Good, someone had to do it. What happened to you? Where did you go?”

Youngjae shrugged. He had just woken up from a twelve-hour slumber, but still felt quite tired. He and Jaebum had had sex for nearly three hours the previous day, fucking each other senseless in the safety and privacy of their room. It had been pleasurable, of course, and at least they had not talked, which was a plus.

“I just stepped out for some air and left the party early. I needed to clear my head,” Youngjae explained, glancing down at his coffee.

Yugyeom did not seem to buy it, but did not insist any more. Jaebum wanted to demand the truth and say that he had seen Youngjae leaving the party with somebody, but that was not the appropriate situation. Besides, it was clear that Youngjae was hurt, and that it was because of Jinyoung. Jaebum decided to leave the whole issue aside and let Youngjae have his own space to recover. They could always discuss things later on.

With a soft sigh, Youngjae finished the remainder of his coffee and stood up.

“Guys, I’m going to go to the library for a bit. I’ve got a lot to catch up with before the private lesson with Wheein this afternoon,” he explained.

The classes with Wheein were not exactly something he was looking forward to, but at least they were a good excuse.

“See you later,” Jaebum said, concern showing again in his features. Youngjae fled.

It had got even colder the past few days, and Youngjae cursed under his breath upon remembering that he had forgotten his scarf at the dorm. After putting on his earbuds and turning on the iPod, he shoved his hands in the pockets of his parka and inched his shoulders up, hoping to protect his ears and neck from the ice-cold breeze. At least music was soothing. Coldplay’s song _A Sky Full Of Stars_ started playing, which inevitably brought a smile of relief to Youngjae’s lips. He turned up the volume.

He was crossing the sports field, walking quietly alongside the bleachers, when suddenly something hard and rounded bumped against his back. Youngjae fell forward and almost tripped, his bag slipping off his shoulder and dropping to the ground. He turned around with a frown and saw a football bouncing away from him.

“Hey! Are you okay?”

Youngjae looked up at whoever was approaching him. The boy had dark brown hair and a thin face with sharp features—a face Youngjae was somewhat familiar with. The boy seemed to recognise him as well, since he stopped dead in his tracks upon catching sight of Youngjae’s face.

“Mark?” Youngjae murmured after a few seconds of silence.

The other hesitated before noticing that Youngjae’s bag and its contents were scattered on the ground. He immediately knelt down and started picking everything up.

“Let me help you,” he said, grabbing Youngjae’s pencil case and dusting it off. Youngjae stopped him.

“Mark, is it?”

Mark stopped and looked at him, nodding in response.

“Yes.”

“Are you… well, I see you’re feeling much better now. You probably don’t remember me, but—”

“I remember you,” Mark cut him off, a tiny smile on his lips. “Though… I believe I didn’t catch your name.”

“It’s Youngjae.”

“ _Youngjae_ ,” Mark echoed, as if trying to get used to the sound of it. “That’s… you have a nice name.”

“Mark, come on, bro!” another boy shouted from the field. It was the bulky one that was obsessed with organic food, Youngjae remembered. “We only have twenty minutes left!”

“I’ll be right back!” Mark yelled back before turning to Youngjae again, his gaze softening. He helped Youngjae put everything back in his bag, and even dusted it off for him.

“Thank you so much, you didn’t have to,” Youngjae said, a little flustered.

“It’s fine. I tried to warn you about the ball, but you didn’t seem to hear me.” Mark picked up the football and kicked it towards his friend, who seemed to be nearing the end of his patience.

“Yes, sorry, I was a bit distracted. I was listening to music.” Youngjae looked down at the iPod in his hand.

“Oh, what were you listening to?”

“Uh, just Coldplay.”

“Really? I actually love them.”

The smile on Mark’s lips had something unique to it. It made Youngjae’s insides twist, though he was not yet sure if it was in a good or bad way.

“Yeah, they’re cool,” he mumbled sheepishly. “I think your friends are waiting, I shouldn’t keep you.”

“Um, yes, I should—yeah. I’d better go back,” Mark replied, just as flustered as Youngjae was. It was hard to tell whether the pink colour on his cheeks was due to exercise or shyness. “By the way, thank you. You know, for helping me. The other day.”

“Well, it was nothing, I just—”

“Oh,” Mark suddenly said, his voice softening even more, “let me treat you to something. Dinner, breakfast, lunch, snacks, whatever you prefer. In return for looking after me.”

“Really, that’s not necessary,” Youngjae said, shaking his head. “It’s okay.”

“Please, I insist. Let me repay you.” Mark looked as hopeful as a child during Christmas Eve, and Youngjae was weak.

“Alright,” he finally agreed, not wanting to come off as rude. “Shall we… get lunch tomorrow?”

“Sure,” Mark said with a nod. “Let’s meet here in the sports field.”

“Sounds good.” Youngjae bowed his head. “See you tomorrow.”

“Thank you, Youngjae-ssi.” Mark was already walking backwards into the field, waving his hand cheerfully. “See you tomorrow!”

Youngjae waved back, although Mark did not see it, for he was already running back towards his group of friends.

It was strange, Youngjae thought to himself as he put his earbuds back on, how that brief –and slightly awkward– encounter with Mark had seemed to make him forget about everything that was going on, if only for a couple of minutes. With a slight shake of his head, he brushed it off and kept walking towards the library, focused on all the work he must catch up with.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaaah I'm so sorry about all the angst my friends but [here](https://i.pinimg.com/originals/c6/ff/9f/c6ff9fabb0f1bc21d4eb5b95beb5ad82.gif) is a happy markjae gif to help you through it, just look at these two angels 
> 
>  Thanks for all the comments, you guys are precious and ilysm ♥ see you in the next chapter!


	9. Chapter 9

“That’s it, go slowly. We’re not in a hurry,” Youngjae instructed, watching as Wheein moved her fingers slowly over the piano keys. She was so focused that the tip of her tongue kept poking out of her mouth. After a moment, she glanced up at the sheet music and frowned.

“I can’t go on,” she murmured.

“Why not?” Youngjae wanted to know, leaning in to see where she had stopped. “Come on, you’re almost at the end of this stave right here—”

“I just,” Wheein interrupted him, her voice barely audible. Perhaps she did not want her mother to hear, “I forgot what this symbol was.”

She was pointing at a sharp. Youngjae was silent for a moment, not knowing whether she was being serious or just messing with him. He tried his best to be patient.

“Wheein, that’s a sharp,” he explained. “Remember? This note here is higher in pitch by a semitone. See, it’s this one,” he added, playing the note on the piano.

“Oh, right,” she nodded, even though she did not seem to be paying much attention.

“There’s a recital coming up, remember?” Youngjae reminded her. “In a month and a half, you’ll need to know this and another piece by heart.”

She looked down at her lap.

“I know.”

“Wheein,” Youngjae said after a beat, watching as she sighed quietly and glanced up at him, “what’s wrong?”

“Nothing, I’m fine.”

“You’re clearly not fine. You could play this perfectly yesterday, why not today?”

“I’m just tired. It’s nothing, really.”

But Youngjae knew that excuse all too well.

“You can tell me, you know. Maybe not now, but if you ever feel like talking…” he started, then Wheein suddenly turned her head towards him, her black bangs moving with it.

“Youngjae-ssi, I…” she began, but the sound of the door opening had her lips glued together again.

“How is the lesson going?” Wheein’s mother asked animatedly. “I haven’t heard the piano in a while.”

Youngjae frowned. Somehow, his theory about Mrs Jeong eavesdropping through the door did not seem so stupid now.

“It’s going well, I was just explaining something to Wheein,” he replied. “Do you need anything, Mrs Jeong?”

“Actually, I’ve come to ask if you could end the lesson for today.  We are going to visit Wheein’s grandmother this weekend.”

It was an hour earlier than their usual finishing time, but since they had somewhere to be, Youngjae had no choice but to nod politely.

“Of course, that will be no problem. We can continue next week.”

Wheein gave him a pleading look that he could also recognise as she and her mother said goodbye to him at the door. He hoped she would be alright. Perhaps next week they would be able to talk about her worries without her nosy mother listening in.

* * *

When Youngjae got back to the dorm, the room was empty. As he took off his coat and approached his desk, he saw there was a small post-it note stuck to his closed laptop. He picked it up to read it, a small frown on his face.

_I’m working on the song again. I left you some miso soup and kimbap, please make sure to eat. Don’t wait up._

_JB_

So Jaebum was locked up in his practice room again. Youngjae knew the song was not finished yet, although he remembered Jaebum saying that it was coming along well. He pulled out his phone and was about to text him, but remembered it was futile. Jaebum never even looked at his phone when he was composing.

With a sigh, Youngjae went out to the common area in the dorm to heat up the food. He then went back to the room, turned all the lights off except for his bedside lamp and sat down on the bed to eat, chewing slowly as he tried to avoid thinking about his still aching heart. Thinking about the pain only helped feeding it, and the fact that he was alone in the room only worsened the situation.

After drinking the soup and eating half of the kimbap rolls, Youngjae put the container aside and moved off the bed to kneel on the floor. He leaned down and reached underneath Jaebum’s bed, where his guitar case was. Groaning at the stretch –because his arm was a bit short–, he finally grabbed the guitar case and pulled it out. A somewhat fond smile made its way onto Youngjae’s lips as he opened the case and grabbed one of the beer cans safely stored inside, before putting it in the mini fridge they had in the room. Beer was not his preferred alcoholic beverage by far, but it was all Jaebum had in the room and right now it was enough.

His phone vibrated with a couple of texts, but Youngjae could not be bothered to reply. Whoever it was, it would have to wait. He turned off the phone and opened his laptop, settling back on the bed to binge watch some foolish drama. That would hopefully take his mind off things in general; it surely needed some rest.

“Just this one,” Youngjae mumbled to himself as he opened the can of beer. “It won’t hurt.”

He took a long swig and grimaced at the bitter taste, but he thought he would grow used to it. After getting comfortable on the bed, he pressed play and the drama Yugyeom was so obsessed about, which was called _Sons of the Sunlight_ or something like that, started playing. It took Youngjae a while to concentrate on the plot because his mind kept wandering off towards a certain basketball player. He remembered the stare in Mark’s half-lidded eyes and the unconcealed worry that his voice carried as he asked why Youngjae had been crying at the party. He also remembered the warm touch of his hand as they lay on Mark’s bed, the strong smell of alcohol mixed with that of fresh bedsheets. That simple gesture and Mark’s proximity had given Youngjae a sense of security that was foreign to him. He was sure that he had never felt it before, not even with Jaebum.

The drama kept playing in the background as Youngjae opened his second beer, not even caring that Jaebum would eventually find him drinking from his stash. It was starting to taste good, he thought to himself as he looked down at the can and read the name of the brand several times. His mind was starting to become fuzzy and his eyelids heavy, though, so as soon as he finished the beer, he put it down and fell back onto the mattress. He fell asleep almost instantly, only to be plunged into a rather deep but agitated slumber in which he dreamed vividly of holding Mark’s hand again. They were in Mokpo, standing by the sea on a cold windy day. The sky was covered in clouds and the sun was white behind them. It was definitely a dream.

 _I’m cold,_ Youngjae mouthed between chattering teeth.

Mark held his face with gloved hands, stroking his cheeks tenderly with his thumbs. Butterflies crawled up Youngjae’s windpipe and a few seagulls cried above them.

Mark leaned in for a kiss. Their lips met and Youngjae did not feel cold anymore; it was such a powerful, life-giving kiss that it seemed like a fire had been lit in the deepest parts of Youngjae’s soul. It awakened his whole being, making the hairs on his nape stand on end and his fingertips tingle.

Youngjae woke with a start, eyes wide as he stared at the ceiling. The door of the room was open and the light from the hallway crept inside, tracing the outline of Jaebum’s figure.

“Youngjae?” the older murmured, closing the door softly. “Are you crying?”

Youngjae tried to reply, but only a choked sob came out instead. He sniffed, his nose feeling stuffed.

“What time is it?” he managed, sitting up on the bed and touching his own face. His cheeks were wet and cold. 

Jaebum walked to his bed and sat on the edge of the mattress, watching closely as Youngjae tried to control his sobs. Youngjae did not know why he was crying and it was incredibly confusing, as well as embarrassing. The dream he had just had… it had felt so real. He brought a hand to his lips, which were still warm and tingling.

“It’s three o’clock,” Jaebum answered, gently placing a hand on Youngjae’s cheek. “Are you okay? Did you have a bad dream?”

“I… yes, I did,” Youngjae lied, shivering at the touch.

“Did you drink this?” Jaebum asked, picking up an empty beer can from the floor. “Two of them?” Youngjae nodded, sniffing again. “Okay.”

Jaebum threw the empty cans into the bin, then closed Youngjae’s laptop and placed it on the desk. He quickly changed into his pyjamas as Youngjae watched him, blinking in the darkness.

Youngjae felt tears streaming down his face again as Jaebum slid into bed with him, pulling him closer. He buried his face in Jaebum’s neck and closed his eyes, partly glad to be able to let it all out.

“You don’t want to talk,” Jaebum murmured after a while, rubbing circles onto his back. Youngjae simply shook his head. “Alright. Let’s sleep, then.”

Heartbreak was a pain in the arse, Youngjae thought right before falling asleep. As he closed his eyes, though, he felt Mark’s warm lips on his again, and the overwhelming feeling of love he had felt in the dream flooded his chest.

* * *

It was the pounding headache that woke him up. Youngjae opened his eyes and squinted at the light filling the room, suddenly remembering that he had not drawn the curtains the previous night. He tried to sit up on the bed, but the room started spinning around him as soon as he lifted his head from the pillow. He quickly lay back down with a groan.

“I’m never drinking again,” Youngjae murmured to himself, squeezing his eyes shut.

There was no reply and the bed was empty, so he imagined Jaebum was back to song-writing in his hideout. There was another post-it note on the desk, however, and Youngjae thought it would probably be a good idea to get out of bed and read it.

Wobbling slightly on his feet, he clumsily made his way to the desk and took the note, rubbing his left eye as he tried to focus on what was written.

_I don’t want to wake you, but I’m back at work with the song. I see you haven’t eaten all the kimbap, so please eat and take care of yourself, Youngjae-ah. There are some painkillers in the first drawer. I’ll be back later._

_JB_

Perhaps Jaebum was worrying too much. This was not the first time Youngjae was hungover, although it was clear that it was not what Jaebum was worrying about. Jaebum had always been able to sense Youngjae’s true feelings, but had always given him his space and respected his need to be alone, so maybe that was why he was working on the song again.

Youngjae put the note back on the desk and grabbed his phone. He did not remember turning it off, but guessed it was because of the alcohol. After turning it back on, a few texts popped up on the screen. They were from Jinyoung.

_[7:58 PM] PJY: Hi, Youngjae!_

_[8:00 PM] PJY: Just wanted to know how you were. It’s been a while! You doing okay? X_

Youngjae’s finger hesitated for a second before finally pushing the ‘delete’ button. He erased the whole chat with Jinyoung and felt like a quite heavy load had been lifted off his shoulders.

Forcing himself to forget about Jinyoung, Youngjae stepped into the shower and washed himself, relieved to feel the warm water trickling over his body. It was not until he had dressed himself afterwards that he remembered he had a lunch date with Mark. He froze on the spot and quickly scrambled towards the bedside table, grabbing the alarm clock to look at the time. A small yelp escaped his lips; it was already 12:05 PM.

“Fuck, shit, crap, damn,” he swore, stumbling as he put on his shoes. He made a run for the door, grabbed his coat and left the room as it was.

He had briefly considered not going, but then he remembered the hopeful look on Mark’s face the previous day. As he clumsily walked down the stairs towards the dormitory’s exit, still dizzy, Youngjae allowed himself to recall the soft touch of Dream-Mark’s hands on his cheeks. He instantly felt better and picked up the pace.

Mark was sitting on the bleachers, wearing ripped washed-out jeans and a black bomber jacket. He was looking down at his phone when Youngjae arrived, almost completely out of breath. Upon hearing Youngjae’s pants, he looked up and his face seemed to light up.

“Youngjae-ssi, you’re here,” he greeted, his deep voice rumbling in his chest as he quickly put his phone away and walked down the bleachers to meet Youngjae. “Thank you for coming.”

Youngjae took a few deep breaths through his nose and managed a small smile, shaking his head.

“It’s fine, thank you for waiting. I hope you haven’t been here long,” he said with a bow. “I lost track of time, sorry.”

“Don’t worry, I haven’t been here long,” Mark said, noticing Youngjae’s pale face. “You look tired, though. Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine,” Youngjae said dismissively.

Mark did not seem to believe that, but motioned towards their right.

“Okay, then let’s go. I thought of a nice place to eat, but we’ll have to take a bus for that. Is that okay with you?”

Youngjae nodded. It had been so long since he had eaten outside of the campus that he had almost forgotten they were in Seoul.

“Yes, absolutely,” he replied, nodding. “I’m starving, actually.”  

“Whoah, me too. I could eat a whole elephant at this rate,” Mark replied with a soft laugh as they walked down a long flight of stairs surrounded by gardens. “I’m always hungry.”

“Well, with all the exercise you do, I should think so.”

“Oh, that’s right. I’m a sports major, though you probably knew already,” Mark said, pushing his hands into the pockets of his jacket.

“I noticed, yeah. Are you in the basketball team?”

Mark nodded.

“Yes, I am. The _Seoul University Lions_. I honestly don’t know where they got that name from, but anyway.”

“I like lions,” Youngjae shrugged. “They’re noble, powerful animals.” 

When he turned to Mark, he caught the other smiling lovingly. Youngjae returned the smile, even though Mark quickly changed the subject.

“And what are you majoring in, Youngjae-ssi?”

“I’m a music major,” Youngjae explained. “I am specialising in piano and singing.”

“I knew it,” Mark said with a soft laugh. “I knew it as soon as I held your hand.”

Youngjae’s heart did a cartwheel in his chest.

“What?” he blurted out.

“When I held your hand,” Mark said, as if trying to make him remember. “Your fingers were so long and delicate that I thought, this guy must be a pianist.” He smiled even wider. “And I was right.”

Youngjae’s cheeks felt warm and he let out a nervous smile. He did not know Mark would address such matters so abruptly.  

When they got to the bus stop, there was only one seat available and Mark motioned for Youngjae to sit down.

“Please sit down, Younjae-ssi.” He leaned against one of the glass panels and watched Youngjae for a moment. “Too much partying last night?”

Youngjae thanked him and sat down. There were two other men sitting there, both clad in suits and looking down at their phones. Youngjae wondered if they were working on a Sunday.

“I guess you could say that,” he replied, returning his attention to Mark. “What kind of place did you think of?”

“Hm?”

“To eat, I mean.”

“Ah, yes. It’s a restaurant that specialises in traditional Taiwanese food. The owner and my dad are childhood friends.”

“Oh, really? Sounds nice,” Youngjae said with a nod, feeling a little bit more at ease. “Does your dad go there often?”

Mark chuckled, shaking his head.

“No, unfortunately. My parents live in Los Angeles. I was born there.”

Youngjae’s eyes widened.

“You’re American? I hadn’t noticed!” He blinked owlishly. “Your Korean is perfect.”

“Thanks. I had many Korean friends in America, so I was able to learn the language early on. I came here because I wanted to study in this university, and also be a little more independent.” Mark explained as the bus slowly came to a stop before them.

They both got on the bus and sat together, Youngjae on the window seat and Mark next to him. Their legs brushed, and Youngjae had to look away to hide his blush.

“Want one?” Mark asked, and Youngjae turned to look at him. He had one earbud on and was holding the other one towards Youngjae.

“Yeah,” he replied with a small nod, putting it in his ear. _Bittersweet Symphony_ started playing, and Mark grinned.

“I really love this song.”

Youngjae found himself grinning back; a huge genuine smile.

“Me too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> guess who's back, back again *dougie-ing YJ style* 
> 
> Sorry for the delay my lovelies, but here's chapter 9 finally! I've been caught up with work and real life issues and boring stuff, but I've tried to squeeze in some time to write whenever I could. 
> 
> Btw I appreciate all the kudos and comments I've received since I posted chapter 8, you're all so awesome ily ;_; ♥ hope you enjoy this chapter as well!!
> 
> ~~also I might be working on a 2jae one-shot which is completely unrelated to this fic but I can't wait for you guys to read it skjdhbks~~


	10. Chapter 10

Jaebum took the pencil from between his teeth and scratched a few words on the paper, balancing the notebook on a corner of the piano. The handwriting on the paper looked messy and all over the place, but everything was organised in Jaebum’s mind. He made several corrections in the lyrics and tried playing a few notes on the piano, switching to a stave notebook to add them to the melody.

“No, this won’t do,” he murmured to himself, aggressively scratching the paper again.

Just when he was sure he was about to throw the bloody piano out the window, there was a knock on the door of the practice room.

“Go away,” Jaebum said, but turned around to see who it was.

“Sod that, you’ve been here the whole day,” Yugyeom said from the doorway, shaking his head. Bambam was standing behind him, waving his hand in greeting. “We’ve come to drag you out.”

“I need to finish this song, guys, sorry.”

Yugyeom stepped into the room, took a couple of long strides and slammed the piano lid shut. Jaebum jumped in his seat.

“Yah, don’t do that, you punk,” he complained. “The piano isn’t mine!”

“When was the last time you ate?” Yugyeom said, brow furrowed in concern.

“A couple hours ago.”

“He’s lying,” Bambam said, leaning against the doorframe.

Yugyeom clicked his tongue, grabbed Jaebum’s collar and easily pulled him up into a standing position. The older tried to free himself, but Yugyeom was bigger than him and he was quite exhausted, so there was not much energy in him to fight back.

“Get your hands off me, Yugyeom, I’m older than you,” Jaebum growled.

“That doesn’t mean you need to starve yourself,” Yugyeom replied, looking into his eyes. “You’ve been kind of off lately, hyung. We need to talk.”

Jaebum looked over at Bambam, who only raised his eyebrows. He sighed.

* * *

“That was absolutely delicious,” Youngjae said, slowly wrapping the scarf around his neck.

“It was, wasn’t it?” Mark replied cheerfully. “I’m glad you liked the food. This is one of the best places to eat in Seoul, in my opinion. And very affordable, too.”

They said goodbye to the owner, who saw them off at the entrance, and started walking down the street. Mark pushed his hands into the pockets of his bomber jacket, while Youngjae just patted his full belly and sighed happily. Sometimes a nice meal and a good conversation could really do some good, it seemed.

“Would you like to go bowling?” Mark suddenly suggested, causing Youngjae to look up with interest.

“Bowling?”

“You know, that game where you throw a round, heavy ball against a bunch of thingies called tenpins…”

“I know what that is,” Youngjae said, his whole face going red as Mark let out a loud laugh.

“I was just messing with you. Are you up for a game? It’ll be fun.”

“Yeah, sure, why not.”

Youngjae did not mention the fact that he had not bowled since he was about twelve, and decided to just wing it instead. Spending time with Mark was nice enough, he did not want to ruin it.

On their way to the bowling alley, Youngjae learned more things about Mark. His taste in music was very similar to Youngjae’s, which was a nice surprise, and he was three years his senior. Youngjae had been surprised to learn this, since Mark should have finished his studies already, but Mark explained it was because he had started university a couple of years later than usual.

“So,” Mark teased, a cheeky smile on his thin lips, “you should call me hyung.”

“Oh, really?” Youngjae said, raising his eyebrows. “I don’t usually call my hyungs ‘hyung’, though.”

“Then you’re a very rude dongsaeng.” Mark tutted, shaking his head.

Youngjae had an idea.

“I’ll call you hyung if you win the game,” he suggested, knowing full well he was going to lose. “Deal?”

Mark shook his hand eagerly.

“Prepare for an ass whooping, Youngjae-ah.”

It was easy enough. Youngjae knew that as a sports major, Mark would surely be a competitive person, and he was not wrong. He did not have a problem calling Mark ‘hyung’, even though it was true that he did not usually address his older friends that way. To him it was not impolite, he just was not used to it.

They went in and agreed to pay half and half, even though Mark insisted on paying himself. Youngjae thought it was endearing, but did not mention it.

“I’d feel bad,” he told Mark, a small smile on his lips, “you’d be paying for losing.”

Mark turned to him with raised eyebrows.

“You _clearly_ underestimate me.”

Youngjae could only laugh.

“You seem to be pretty intent on being called hyung,” he teased.

“Because that’s the way it should be,” Mark said, giving him a wink. “Come on, let’s go in.”

They were given a pair of shoes each before they were led to their designated alley. Youngjae was the first to throw, and he picked a bright green bowling ball that was, apparently, heavier than it looked. He struggled a bit to lift it, but finally managed to throw it, watching as it rolled down and only hit three tenpins.

“Impressive,” Mark teased with a smirk, picking up his own ball and getting ready to throw.

“I’m just letting you get confident,” Youngjae retorted, picking up his iced chocolate frappe and sipping it.

He sat down and watched as Mark easily threw the ball, hitting all the remaining tenpins like a true professional.

“I’m already quite confident,” Mark said as he returned to the sofa, letting out a soft chuckle, “ _dongsaeng_.” 

Youngjae got up with a smile, ready to keep up his act and play for a bit. Needless to say, he only managed to hit a few tenpins (or none at all) while Mark scored straight strikes. When their scores appeared on the screen and Mark saw he had over seventy points more than Youngjae, he turned to the younger and gently bumped his shoulder with his fist.

“That wasn’t so bad, was it?” he said with a chuckle. “Really now, that was a great game.”

Youngjae chuckled.

“Great? I can’t even throw.”

“Well, that can only improve with practice. It’s like when you play the piano.”

Youngjae looked up at Mark and noticed the soft look in his eyes. He glanced down at his feet, embarrassed. They finished changing their shoes.

“If you say so,” he paused, looking up with a small smile again, “hyung.”

Mark returned the smile, a soft pink colour flooding his cheeks. He scratched the back of his head and nodded towards the exit.

“Shall we head back?”

“Alright,” Youngjae said, nodding.

It was already dark outside when they walked back to the bus stop. Mark seemed to be in a good mood, and told Youngjae about his upcoming basketball game and swimming competition. Youngjae thought it was nice to have someone to go back to campus with; it was a good change.

“Wow, you swim, too?” he asked at one point.

Mark shoved his hands in his pockets, lightly moving his legs to keep them from getting cold as they waited for the bus to arrive. He nodded.

“Yeah,” he replied. “I don’t usually participate in competitions, though, because swimming is just a way to relax for me. I tend to focus more on basketball, but a few months ago a coach saw me swimming in the pool and told me to give it a chance.”

“That means you’re very good,” Youngjae said, nodding. “You’ll do well, I’m sure.”

Mark hesitated for a moment before speaking again.

“Would you come see me?”

“Huh?”

Mark grinned.

“You’re blushing.”

Youngjae immediately covered his cheeks with his hands.

“I—I’m not—I just,” he stammered, to which Mark only giggled.

“You’re cute.”

The bus pulled up at the stop and Youngjae hurried to get on, hands still on his cheeks. Mark sat down next to him and once again their knees touched, sending tiny jolts of electricity through his body. Youngjae wished he would stop being so obvious.

“So you will come see me? You didn’t answer,” Mark asked after a few moments.

Youngjae looked at him briefly, then nodded.

“Yes.”

“Good.” Mark nodded politely. “Thank you.”

“You’ll have to tell me when it will be, though.”

“That can be easily done,” Mark said, pulling out his phone and handing it to Youngjae. “Would you give me your number?”

Youngjae looked down at the phone and gently took it in his hands.

“Of course.”

He typed his number into Mark’s phone and then handed it to the other, a tiny smile on his lips.

“Thanks,” Mark said, “I’ll text you as soon as I know the details.”

They got off the bus a while later, stepping out once again into the cold night air. As soon as Youngjae walked into the campus, it felt like waking up from a dream. He would have to go back to the room, he would have to face the possibility of getting more texts from Jinyoung, he would have to deal with loneliness again. With every step they took, he dreaded it more and more.

“Youngjae,” Mark’s voice pulled him out of his thoughts.

“Mm? Huh? Sorry, I think I zoned out for a minute.”

“You seem to do that often,” the other replied, sounding a bit worried. “You okay?”

Youngjae nodded.

“Yes, I’m fine, I was just thinking about school stuff.”

They were walking down the deserted path that led to Youngjae’s dorm, passing by the faculty building where Jinyoung studied. It had been a while since Youngjae had taken that path —he usually avoided it—, and his body tensed automatically even though he knew it was a Sunday, there were no classes, there was no way they would stumble upon—

The sound of a laugh coming towards them startled him. He recognised it immediately.

“Hyung,” Youngjae said, his hand reaching for Mark’s sleeve, “let’s go to the library.”

“What?” Mark frowned.

Youngjae tugged at his sleeve. Jinyoung was walking towards them, but he was speaking to someone on the phone and had luckily not spotted them yet.

“Just—let’s go, please,” Youngjae insisted.

If they turned to the right and went through the alley between the two main faculty buildings, Jinyoung would probably walk past them and not be able to see them. He was smartly dressed; it looked like he was heading out.

Mark looked at Youngjae and over at the boy who was approaching them, then seemed to catch on. Right before Jinyoung looked up at them, he grabbed Youngjae’s wrist and pulled him into the alley, pressing him against the wall and shielding him with his body so that he would not be seen. Youngjae barely had time to register what was going on, and just let out a little yelp as his back hit the brick wall.

When he looked up, Mark’s face was inches away from his, his dark eyes studying every change in Youngjae’s expression. The older reached out and pulled the hood of Youngjae’s sweatshirt over his head, shushing him in the softest way possible. The alley was dark enough, and they stayed as still as rocks while Jinyoung walked past them, still speaking on the phone. At the sound of his voice, Youngjae swallowed. It was painful.

“He hurt you,” Mark whispered, a good twenty seconds after everything had passed. They had not moved an inch. “Back at the party. You were crying.”

Youngjae shook his head, trying not to remember that night.

“No, he didn’t.”

“Yes, he did. Why are you avoiding him?”

Youngjae shook his head, the hood slipping off it. It all came back again, breaking through the walls he had managed to start building. Jinyoung in his leather jacket, his eyes sparkling in the moonlight, asking about Jaebum. He had got what he wanted from Youngjae, it had been his goal all along.

He realised he was crying when he felt Mark’s warm hand cupping his cheek, a thumb lovingly swiping over it and drying the tears that fell. Youngjae looked up with a jolt, embarrassed, and saw the look in Mark’s eyes. It was so genuinely tender that it scared him.

“I’m fine,” Youngjae said, quickly pulling Mark’s hand away and drying his face with his sleeve. He sniffed, quickly composing himself. “We’re just not in good terms, is all.”

“Youngjae—,” Mark called, but Youngjae gently pushed him away, hands on his chest.

“I’m fine,” he repeated. “I… I have to go.”

He could not believe he had just broken down and cried in front of Mark. He had surely ruined what would have otherwise been a perfect date.

“Youngjae, wait,” Mark pleaded, grabbing his wrist again to stop him from going away. Youngjae did not struggle. “Hey, stop for a moment. Look at me.”

Sighing, Youngjae turned to him and looked up until their eyes met. The look in Mark’s eyes was still soft but incredibly intense, so full of something Youngjae could not yet fathom.

“I get that you don’t want to talk about it,” Mark began after a couple of seconds, “but whatever it is that is going on with that guy, he’s not worth it. You deserve much better.”

Youngjae huffed a sad laugh.

“You don’t even know me.”

“I know enough,” Mark replied, looking straight into his eyes. “You saved me from passing out and choking in my own vomit at the party, didn’t you?”

Sniffing again, Youngjae timidly nodded.

“You could have left me there,” Mark continued. “But you didn’t. You were deeply hurt, and despite that you still chose to help me. Hell, you even carried my heavy ass all the way to the dorm. I don’t know about you, but that’s enough for me to know you’re a good person, Youngjae.”

Youngjae, who had been looking away in shame, slowly turned his gaze back to Mark. The other smiled encouragingly, offering his hand.

“Come on, I’ll walk you to your dorm.”

As soon as their hands touched and Youngjae felt Mark’s warmth, he felt a bit more at ease. The walk to the dorm was a silent but peaceful one, and even as he slipped into bed later that night, Youngjae could not stop thinking about how good Mark managed to make him feel, how kind his eyes had been despite Youngjae’s vulnerable state, and on top of it all, how much he actually wanted to keep getting to know that sweet basketball player.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ANNYEONG I'M BACK GUYS MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYBODY (ﾉ´ヮ`)ﾉ*: ･ﾟ
> 
> okay but seriously now, these past few weeks have been crazy bc i've been caught up with phd work and on top of that i just got a job and everything is happening so fast i can barely keep up with it! 
> 
> i haven't forgotten about you guys though, and even if this is a slightly shorter chapter i hope you enjoy it anyway ♥ thank you for still being here and for all the love in my one-shot [구미호](https://archiveofourown.org/works/12961023), you're all so amazing <33


	11. Chapter 11

Christmas break was approaching fast, as well as assignment deadlines and Wheein’s piano recital. Youngjae had decided to teach her on Wednesday afternoons as well, since she did not seem to be progressing much. She looked distracted, like her mind was elsewhere while she was playing the piano. Youngjae still had not discovered what the problem was, since she had not made any more attempts to tell him.

Today, however, Wheein looked a bit more focused. It was obvious she was making a huge effort for Youngjae, and he appreciated every bit of it.

“You did well today,” he praised after they wrapped up the lesson. Wheein gave him a tiny smile that did not quite reach her eyes.

“Thank you. I’ve been practising.”

“Good job. We just need to work a little harder on this part,” Youngjae added, pointing at a certain group of notes on the sheet music, “and this one, too. But the rest sounds perfect to me, you’re doing so well.”

Wheein nodded, carefully looking at the notes he had mentioned. She pouted, knowing full well she had trouble playing those notes every time they went through the whole piece.

“Youngjae-ssi,” she began, “would it be too bad if I wanted o drop out of the recital?”

Youngjae turned to her, wide-eyed.

“Why would you want to drop out?”

“Shh,” she shushed him, briefly glancing at the closed door. “My mother might hear.”

“Wheein,” Youngjae said, his voice barely above a whisper, “really, what’s the matter? I’ve noticed something has been distracting you since our lessons started.”

“Nothing has been distracting me,” Wheein replied a little defensively. “I just… I just don’t like the piano, okay?”

“Are you sure it’s just that?”

She looked down at the black and white keyboard, letting out a sigh so deep it made her bangs move.

“Yes,” she finally replied.

Youngjae was not convinced at all, but he was not going to push it any further.

“Okay,” he nodded. “Let’s just finish for today. Though if you really don’t want to perform in the recital, Wheein, you should let your mother know.”

Wheein let out a frustrated sigh.

“She’ll be mad at me.”

“She’ll have to understand,” Youngjae said gently. “Just think about it first, please?”

Wheein seemed to consider it for a moment, then nodded slowly.

“Okay,” she said, looking up at him. “Just don’t tell mum.”

“Promise I won’t,” Youngjae replied, holding out his pinky finger. He locked it with Wheein’s.

* * *

The bus ride back to the campus was a strangely quiet one. It was rush hour and normally many students took the bus back home from their _hagwons_ or cram schools, but today there were only a couple of middle-aged men, a young girl typing into her phone and Youngjae. Thankful for the quiet nonetheless, he pulled out his iPod and listened to some music while scrolling idly through his social media. Suddenly, a text popped up on the screen.

_DefSoul: Hey, you coming to the dorm 2nite?_

Youngjae raised an eyebrow. Jaebum had been so incredibly busy with school and his new song that they had barely talked to each other in the last few weeks. Not that he was complaining, though. Youngjae still felt a little weird about the great fiasco with Jinyoung. However, Jaebum was his friend, so he typed up a reply.

_ARS: Yeah, on my way back rn_

_ARS: How’s the song going?_

_DefSoul: Its giving me a huge headache man_

_DefSoul: Yugyeomie suggested watching a horror film in his room, u in? I think Jungkook and Bambam will be there too_

_ARS: You know I hate horror films ;_;_

_DefSoul: Don’t worry babe you can cling onto me if u get scared ; >_

_ARS: I srsly can’t with you guys_

_DefSoul: Come on I want to see you and Bambam screeching in falsetto_

Youngjae snorted, unable to stop himself from laughing. He was thankful for the fact that Jaebum was not mentioning Jinyoung anymore, instead trying to make him focus on other things and move on. And Jaebum was not the only one helping him—Mark was helping a great deal, too. Ever since the night they went bowling and exchanged numbers, they had been texting almost daily. They could not see each other often because of their schedules, but they always managed to find some time to exchange a few texts before going to sleep or during breaks. Youngjae thought it was quite lovely.

He agreed to the horror film plan, since he only had one class to attend the next day and it did not start until 2 PM. Yugyeom texted him almost immediately, just as he was getting off the bus.

_kyum: Hyung-niiiiim_

_kyum: You’re coming tonight right??_

Youngjae rolled his eyes.

_ARS: Yes Yugyeom, I am_

_ARS: And don’t call me hyung-nim it gives me the heebie-jeebies_

_kyum: Okay okay I just wanted to tell you to bring snacks!! Any snack you want I’m not picky_

_ARS: What is this, a movie plan with friends or a sacred offering?_

_kyum: No snack no entrance, sorry I dont make the rules_

_ARS: FINE fine I’ll bring snacks_

_ARS: No alcohol tho, you cannot handle it well_

_kyum: ur no fun :(_

_ARS: If you drink I’m telling your mum_

_kyum: wow ur such a sNITCH_

It seemed that Youngjae had no other choice but to stop by the store to buy some snacks before going to the dorm. He did not know what the others were bringing, so he chose his favourite chips and some fruit-flavoured jelly to share with his friends. Just as he was on his way to the counter to pay, he spotted some chocolates that he remembered Mark had mentioned eating when he was a kid back in the States. He had said he had not found them anywhere in Seoul and missed them a lot, so Youngjae did not think twice and grabbed a box.

Jaebum had told him they were all already in Yugyeom’s room, so Youngjae went to his own room first to put Mark’s chocolates in a place that was safe from prying eyes. Humming to himself, he decided to put them inside his suitcase before heading out. Watching a film with his friends, even if it was a horror one, was a nice way to unwind and Youngjae was looking forward to it because everyone –including Jaebum– seemed to be in a good mood. Yes, it was going to be fun.

However, he kept thinking about Mark and how nice it would be to have him there, too.

 _Don’t get too caught up, Youngjae,_ he mentally scolded himself, shaking his head as he walked over to Yugyeom and Jungkook’s room. Now was not the best time to think about that.

The door was flung open as soon as he knocked, and Bambam was giving him the tightest hug in the blink of an eye.

“Hyung, I missed you! Long time no see, huh!” he said cheerfully.

“I’ve missed you too, Bam,” Youngjae replied, feeling warm and comfortable as they stepped into the room. “How have you been?”

“Good, good. Working my arse off, but at least I get paid!”

Yugyeom and Jungkook were sitting on the floor scrolling through Netflix and trying to find a really scary film to watch.

“Not that one!” Yugyeom said, shaking his head. “It doesn’t have enough gore.”

“Gore? You have no taste,” Jungkook replied, taking the laptop from him. “Let the professional do this.”

Jaebum, who was lying on Yugyeom’s bed playing with his phone, looked up and smiled as soon as he saw Youngjae. He got up and wrapped his arms around him in a soft hug, lightly patting his back. The room was full of people, so they could not be as affectionate as they were in private.

“Nice to see you,” Jaebum said, lightly ruffling Youngjae’s hair. “The lesson went well?”

“Yeah,” Youngjae nodded, not wanting to go into detail. “How are you doing?”

“I’m struggling to find my muse,” the other replied, chuckling, “but I hope it’ll come back soon. I would like to show you the finished product.”

“Oh, I would like that.”

Youngjae did not notice the worried look Bambam gave them.

“Hey, hyung,” Jungkook turned around to greet Youngjae with a handshake, while Yugyeom gave him a friendly fist bump in the arm.

“You’re surely a sight for sore eyes,” Yugyeom said, causing Youngjae to roll his eyes.

“We see each other in class often, Yugyeomie.”

Yugyeom blew raspberries with his mouth in response. With a small smile, Youngjae turned to Bambam and gave him the bag with the snacks he had bought.

“Wow, you didn’t need to bring so much! We have like ten bags of different kinds of chips,” Bambam said, smiling.

“It’s not that much, and knowing how much you guys can eat, I still think we’ll run out halfway through the film.”

Jaebum chuckled from the other side of the room.

“You’re not talking about us, are you?” Jungkook asked, his mouth already stuffed.

“Come on, guys, the film’s about to start!” Yugyeom clapped excitedly, motioning for them to get a seat.

Youngjae sat on Yugyeom’s bed, right between Jaebum and Bambam, while Yugyeom and Jungkook sat on the floor. The laptop was placed on a chair in front of them, the film playing on full-screen mode so that they all could see it properly. Youngjae decided not to focus so much on it or he would end up having nightmares, so his mind inevitably wandered towards Mark. What would he be doing? Would he be sleeping already, or having dinner? Perhaps studying for an upcoming test?

As if on cue, after about half an hour into the film, his phone vibrated in his pocket. Jaebum’s leg was pressed to it, so he also felt the vibration and gave Youngjae a questioning look. Youngjae decided not to check who it was. He wanted to see what it said if it was from Mark, but he was also scared in case it was from Jinyoung. Although there was no reason why Jinyoung would text him anymore, was there?

“Your phone,” Jaebum whispered.

Youngjae shrugged, fishing it out of his pocket. He glanced at Jaebum and Bambam, checking that none of them was looking, and lowered the screen’s brightness before quickly opening the text. It was from Mark.

_TMark: Hey! Breaking news!! The swimming competition is on the 22 nd of December! You’ll be there right?_

Youngjae closed the chat immediately before any of his friends could read what it said or who it was from. After a moment’s thought, he put the phone back in his pocket and moved to get up.

“Hyung, you okay?” Bambam asked, chewing on some crackers.

“You’re leaving? This is the best part!” Yugyeom murmured, turning to him with a pout.

“It’s fine, I just need to make a call,” Youngjae said. “I’ll be right back.”

“Who do you need to call at his hour?” Yugyeom replied, clearly not believing him. Jaebum nudged the back of his head with his foot.

“Just let him go for a sec, Yugyeom, this isn’t a fucking interrogation.”

“We can pause the film and wait for you, hyung,” Jungkook suggested.

“No, no, please, just keep watching it. I’ll be back in a minute anyway.”

“You’d better,” Bambam said, hugging himself and curling up, his eyes trained on the laptop screen. “I’m bloody spooked.”

With a soft chuckle, Youngjae promised he would be back shortly and stepped out of the room. He caught a glimpse of Jaebum’s stare, to which he replied with an unconcerned smile. The last thing he wanted was to have Jaebum worrying about him again.

He pulled out his phone as he made his way to the common area, which was luckily empty. With a sigh, he sat on one of the sofas and stared at the screen, trying to type in a reply. However, nothing that he wrote seemed cool or nice enough and he absolutely did not want to come off as rude. His hands started shaking when the word ‘online’ appeared underneath Mark’s name, so before he could think twice he closed the chat and dialled Mark’s number.

“Youngjae?” Mark’s deep voice said from the other side of the line. Youngjae’s throat tightened slightly.

“Hi, um, hello,” he stammered, “hyung. Were you sleeping? Is this a bad time?”

“No, no, of course not. What’s the matter?”

“I just thought it was better to call instead of arranging stuff through text. It always gets a bit messy, you know?”

It was a blatant lie. He just wanted to hear Mark’s voice.

Mark chuckled.

“Of course, yeah.” Youngjae heard him take a breath. “So, what do you say? Are you free on the 22nd?”

Youngjae nodded.

“Yeah, I am. I’ll come see you. Where will it be?”

“Here in campus, I think. I hope I don’t make a fool of myself, I’m not a swimmer.”

“Don’t say that. You’ll do great.”

“My basketball teammates have been teasing me about it the whole week,” Mark said with a soft laugh. “They say I’m dumping the lions to become a goldfish.”

Youngjae could not hold back a soft laugh.

“Tell them to stop whining, then. You can be good at many things, it’s not that big of a deal,” he replied, his chest feeling fluttery at the sound of Mark’s laugh through the receiver.

“Thank you, Youngjae-ah. I know they’ll be there cheering for me. And you as well, of course.”

“Absolutely.”

“So what did you do today? Tell me about your day,” Mark suggested.

“Oh, nothing much. I had classes this morning, then had lunch and went to my pupil’s house to teach her piano, and right now I’m supposed to be watching a scary film with my friends,” Youngjae explained, one hand fiddling with the material of his socks. “Although to be honest, I hate scary films.”

Mark giggled.

“I knew you’d say that. And here I was thinking of taking you to a haunted house on our next date.”

“Please don’t,” Youngjae pleaded with a chuckle. “I think I would cry for sure.”

“Nothing bad would happen, I’d be there with you.”

“But my screams would probably make you go deaf, hyung.”

“Well, I think I would take that risk,” Mark replied. Youngjae could hear his smile. He decided to change the subject before he got too flustered.

“And what about your day? What have you done today?”

Mark let out a hum and Youngjae could hear some rustle. It sounded as if Mark was in bed and shifting on the mattress.

“Um, so I woke up and then had breakfast with my roommate, Jackson. You’ve met him, right? Then we went to basketball practice, and after lunch I went to the pool to swim for another three hours. After that I showered, and then I came back to the dorm to revise for an upcoming test. But in all honesty, I’m getting so bored and sleepy that I can barely focus on what I’m reading.”

“Wow, you’ve surely done a lot today,” Youngjae murmured, genuinely surprised. “If I had done half of that I would be passed out in bed by now.”

“Don’t you normally do exercise, Youngjae-ah?” Mark’s voice was teasing.

“Don’t change the subject!”

“I’ll have to take you to the gym with me someday.”

Youngjae snorted.

“I’d love to see you try.”

They kept chatting for about ten more minutes, then Mark got sleepy and said he was going to bed.

“But thank you so much for calling,” he said softly. “I love talking to you.”

After bidding each other good night, Youngjae hung up and walked back to Yugyeom’s room with a fluttering heart and a nice feeling of relief.

“Finally!” Yugyeom said with a big grin as Youngjae got comfortable between Jaebum and Bambam again, grabbing a few chips from the bag in Jaebum’s hand. “We thought you’d got kidnapped out there or something.”

“I told you I’d come back, didn’t I?” Youngjae replied, playfully tickling the back of Yugyeom’s neck with his feet. Bambam joined in.

“Oh my god, stop, stop!!” Yugyeom started screaming and throwing chips at them while Jungkook looked like he was about to piss himself laughing.

“Guys, keep it down,” Jaebum warned, “most people are sleeping.”

“Wow, hyung, you’re such a killjoy,” Jungkook said, giggling again as Jaebum threw a pillow at him.

“You shut that mouth, punk.”

They barely paid attention to the rest of the film, since it was a pretty bad one anyway. After it was finished, they sat and chatted for a while until they eventually got sleepy and Youngjae was dozing off on Yugyeom’s messy desk. Jaebum lightly patted his back.

“Up you get, sleepyhead,” he murmured. “Let’s go back to the room.”

“Mmkay,” Youngjae said with a yawn, waking up enough to wish everyone a good night and then walk back to his own room.

He had been too sleepy to notice, but it was the first time in weeks that he was alone with Jaebum in their room. Lately, Jaebum would come back from the practice room so late that Youngjae had been fast asleep for hours, so they would not see each other much.

The deafening silence in the room woke Youngjae up completely. He could feel Jaebum’s stare on the back of his neck, so he slowly turned towards his friend.

“Is everything okay?” Jaebum asked simply. Youngjae knew that he was talking about the call he had made earlier.

“Yeah,” he replied, shrugging his shoulders, “why do you ask?”

“Well, you went out to make a call—”

“I called my mum,” Youngjae lied. “She wanted to remind me to buy the train tickets. For Christmas break, you know.”

Jaebum paused, slightly taken aback.

“Oh, right. Yeah. I haven’t bought mine yet.”

“Well, then you should.”

Youngjae emptied his pockets and left his wallet, phone and keys on his desk, sighing softly. Jaebum watched him before hesitantly wrapping his arms around him from behind.

“Are you sure there is nothing else you want to tell me?” he murmured against Youngjae’s ear. The younger shivered, but did not look at him.

“I’m sure,” he replied, nodding. He squeezed Jaebum’s hands and gently moved away from him, giving him a small smile. “I’m tired. I think I’ll just brush my teeth and go to bed.”

Their hands were still joined, so Jaebum nodded and gave Youngjae’s fingers another squeeze, his lips pulled into a small smile.

“Alright. I’ll go after you’re done.”

Youngjae returned the smile and disappeared into the bathroom, closing the door after himself. Jaebum started undressing to change into his pyjamas, trying not to overthink. Maybe it had really been Youngjae’s mum. Maybe he was just stressed because of school and work, and it was completely understandable. But Jaebum knew him all too well. He could not shake off the feeling that Youngjae was hiding something from him.

Suddenly, Youngjae’s phone vibrated on his desk. Jaebum ignored it at first as he always did, but curiosity started burning in the pit of his stomach and soon it got the better of him. Youngjae was still in the bathroom, so Jaebum approached his friend’s desk and glanced down at the screen of the phone, which had lit up conveniently with the latest text on display:

_TMark: I know I told you I was going to sleep, but tbh I can’t stop thinking about you. Want to meet tomorrow after lunch if you’re free? ^^_

The screen turned black again after remaining untouched for several seconds. Jaebum took a deep breath, went back to his bed, grabbed his toothbrush and waited until Youngjae was done so he could use the bathroom. He walked in, closed the door and started brushing his teeth while staring at his reflection in the mirror.

Who the fuck was ‘TMark’, and most importantly, what did Youngjae have to do with him?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this is super late guys, it's been almost a whole month!! But I hope this update made up for it somehow ;) 
> 
> thank you for reading! ♥️


	12. Chapter 12

“This is for you, hyung,” Youngjae said with a sheepish smile as they were sitting on the front steps of the sports faculty the next day. Mark raised his eyebrows.

“Wow, a present? For me?” he said, visibly excited as he took the bag Youngjae handed him. His eyes widened and he let out a giggle upon seeing the contents of the bag. “Oh my god! Mini peanut butter cups!” he exclaimed, taking the box and examining it closely. “How did you know I like them so much? Where did you find them? I thought I would never be able to eat them again!”

Youngjae shrugged, a smug smile on his lips.

“Well, I do have my contacts. And you mentioned you missed them, I remember stuff like that.”

Mark gasped.

“You haven’t ordered them online, have you? That mustn’t have been cheap.”

“No, I haven’t. Actually, I found them by chance in a store the other day and they reminded me of you.”

“Whoah, Youngjae, thanks so much,” Mark said, wrapping an arm around Youngjae’s shoulders and pulling him into a hug. “It’s so cool that you remembered this. Do you remember everything we talk about?”

Youngjae looked down at their feet to hide his flushed cheeks.

“N-No, I don’t! I mean, I can’t possibly remember _everything_ , you know,” he stammered, to which Mark only hugged him tighter.

He did remember most of the things they talked about, though. Especially things that had to do with Mark’s tastes and the things he liked or enjoyed the most.

“I still appreciate this a lot. Thank you, really,” Mark said with a soft voice and a bright smile that could light up the whole of Seoul.

He ripped the bag open and handed it to Youngjae, motioning for him to take one of the chocolates. Youngjae had never tried something like that and the combination of chocolate and peanut butter seemed odd to him, but he still reached out and ate one of them. The mixture of sweet and savoury in his mouth made him grin like a schoolboy before turning to Mark wide-eyed.

“Are you kidding me? These are delicious!”

“I know right?” Mark’s cheeks were stuffed as he turned to Youngjae as well. He looked like a squirrel after eating a bunch of nuts, and Youngjae started giggling uncontrollably. “What’s so funny? Do I have chocolate on my teeth?” Mark said, chuckling.

Honestly, Youngjae did not know why he was laughing so hard, but he did not do anything to stop it. The moments he spent with Mark, even though they were brief and scarce lately, had turned out to be the thing he looked forward to the most. Mark’s presence and company were like a breath of fresh air, but Youngjae still did not dare to admit that out loud, not even to himself. He just liked spending time with Mark. He was special.

“Youngjae-ah, look,” Mark’s deep voice brought him back to reality. “It’s snowing.”

He had stuck out his gloved hand, palm facing the sky while a few tiny white specks piled gingerly on it. Youngjae blinked several times, watching quietly as Mark’s palm slowly gathered more and more snow. The snowflakes were still tiny and weak, but it was beautiful.

“Look,” Mark said, bringing his palm closer to Youngjae’s face.

“What is it?”

“There’s something here.”

Youngjae raised an eyebrow.

“What do you mean? I can only see sn—”

But then Mark pressed his palm against Youngjae’s face, covering his mouth and nose with snow. The younger let out a yelp and leaned back, shaking his head and spluttering.

“Hey, what’s your problem!” he protested, “I’ve got snow in my nose!”

Mark was bent in half, laughing like a madman.

“Your face! You looked so cute!”

“How can I even be cute with my nostrils stuffed with snow?!”

“Okay, okay,” Mark said, taking a couple of deep breaths to stop laughing, “I’m sorry I scared you.” He reached out and gently cupped Youngjae’s face with both hands, wiping away the snow carefully. “It wasn’t that much snow anyway, and it’s all melted.”

Youngjae’s cheeks were so red and warm that he was sure he knew why the snow had melted so quickly.

“It’s fine,” he mumbled. “I’m okay.”

“Good.” Mark looked into his eyes and nodded once, then checked the time on his phone. “Shit, my swimming practice starts in ten minutes.”

“Then you should probably get going,” Youngjae replied, even though he did not want to part just yet.

“Sorry this has been so short,” the other replied as they moved to their feet. “I’m glad we could still hang out for a bit, though.”

“Me too,” Youngjae admitted, nodding. “I think I’ll go to the library. Do your best, hyung!”

They gave each other a thumbs up and a smile before Youngjae started walking down the steps. Right before reaching the last one, a hand wrapping itself around his wrist made him turn around.

“By the way, Youngjae,” Mark said in a lower voice, as if it was a secret, “thank you for the chocolates. You just made my day.”

Youngjae could not hide his smile.

“My pleasure,” he replied, nodding his head softly. “Hope you enjoy them.”

“I will.”

Mark squeezed his hand before letting go. It was almost imperceptible, but Youngjae did not miss it. He blushed and hurried off, slipping on the icy road a few times on his way to the library.

* * *

Jaebum was sitting in his practice room, playing the last few notes of his new song on the piano when it started snowing. The song was almost finished, but he still had mixed feelings about it. He had never written anything similar before, never had been so honest and open, pouring his whole heart into a song. Jaebum clicked his tongue as he went over the lyrics one more time, correcting spelling mistakes that he had made while being extremely sleep-deprived and in a hurry.

He did not feel completely confident about the song, but he thought that was how it was supposed to be, after all. Opening his heart and soul and letting others see it –or hear it, rather– was obviously going to make him feel exposed and self-conscious. As he closed his notebook, he decided he would record it later and then upload it to his social media. Right now, however, he needed a well-deserved break.

The snow caught him by surprise as he stepped outside the building. He had been so caught up in the song that he had not even noticed it was snowing. Thankfully though, he always carried a beanie when it was cold to cover his sensitive ears. As he was putting it on, Jaebum thought of texting Yugyeom and ask if he wanted to meet up for coffee. However, a voice calling after him made him stop in his tracks.

“Jaebum-ssi?”

 Jaebum turned around, his eyes widening slightly.

“Ah, Jinyoung-ssi.”

They greeted each other awkwardly, bowing at the same time. It was obvious that Jinyoung was finding it slightly difficult to move, since he was clad in a padded jacket and wrapped in a thick scarf. Jaebum raised an eyebrow; they had not seen each other in a while, even though they had exchanged a few texts. Nothing out of the ordinary, though. He was still a little bit mad at Jinyoung for being such a dick to Youngjae.

“It’s been a while,” Jinyoung said politely, approaching him. “How have you been?”

“Uh, good, can’t complain,” Jaebum replied, trying not to sound rude. “How about you?”

“Flooded with assignments and readings, but I guess I can’t complain either. It’s not turning out so badly,” the other said with a chuckle. “Were you in class?”

“No, no, I was… working by myself.”

“That’s good.” Jinyoung nodded. “How’s Youngjae? Haven’t heard of him in quite a while.”

“He’s fine,” Jaebum replied almost immediately, then remembered the texts from that ‘TMark’ he had seen in Youngjae’s phone, “I guess he’s just pretty busy these days.”

Well, that came out a little bit more bitter than he had intended, and Jinyoung noticed right away.

“Oh,” he said, furrowing his brow, “are you guys… okay?”

“Yeah, we’re fine,” Jaebum nodded as if it was not important.

Jinyoung seemed to think that changing the subject was the best course of action, so he just shook his head lightly and spoke again.

“Anyway, I was just about to get some coffee before going to the library. If you’re free, would you like to join me?”

Jaebum’s first impulse was to decline the offer, but he stopped himself before doing so. Maybe chatting with someone outside his circle of friends would be refreshing, and he could give Jinyoung a second chance. Holding grudges was quite tiring, after all.

“Actually, I was going to get coffee as well,” he said with a nod. “Let’s go.”

“Great.” Jinyoung smiled so widely that tiny wrinkles appeared in the corners of his eyes. The sight reminded Jaebum of his cat, Nora, and he had to repress a chuckle.

They walked to the café where Bambam worked, since both agreed it was their favourite in the whole campus, and after grabbing some coffee and chatting for a while, Jinyoung said he needed to go to the library.

“Though it’s so cold I am starting to regret it,” he commented as he wrapped the thick blue scarf around his neck.

Jaebum, who was feeling a bit more relaxed now, chuckled and nodded slowly.

“You’re right. The other day I read it hasn’t been this cold in a while.”

“I read that too, they say it’s the coldest winter in about fifty years. It’s crazy, isn’t it?” Jinyoung said as they exited the café and stepped out into the snow-covered path. He turned to Jaebum and smiled. “Are you coming to the library as well?”

“Actually, I have to go back to get my stuff,” Jaebum replied, pointing towards the opposite direction. “But I can walk you to the library if you’d like.”

Jinyoung smiled and nodded.

“I’d like that very much.”

The campus grounds were nearly empty, but it was a nice break from the usual hustle and bustle, Jaebum thought. Snow was still falling quietly when they arrived at the central library. They stood by the entrance staircase, and after a moment’s hesitation, Jinyoung turned around with a polite bow.

“Jaebum-ssi, thank you for walking me to the library. And for having coffee with me, it’s been lovely.”

Jaebum nodded and bowed as well.

“It’s nothing, the pleasure is mine,” he said with another smile, although a little awkward one. “Well, um, see you around.”

“Yeah, see you,” Jinyoung said, and after giving Jaebum another bow, he made his way into the building.

Youngjae had been sitting by himself on the second floor, revising some notes for an upcoming test. His table was situated by a big window that overlooked the library entrance, and seeing people approaching by the corner of his eye immediately caught his attention. The sight of Jinyoung surprised him, but it surprised him more to see he was accompanied by Jaebum. They smiled at each other and spoke animatedly, then seemed to be saying goodbye.

Youngjae did not know how to react upon seeing them together, although he was relieved to find that he did not feel so much discomfort at the mere sight of Jinyoung. Maybe it had been a coincidence and they had just casually found each other on their way to the library, although Jaebum rarely frequented it. With a frown and an agitated heart, he watched Jaebum walk away after Jinyoung had entered the library, then turned his head towards the staircase and saw him walking up to the upper floors.

Thanking all the gods for not having been spotted, Youngjae gathered his stuff and left. He needed to catch the bus to go to Wheein’s house; the recital was just two weeks away and they needed to rehearse.

* * *

A few days later, Youngjae was sitting in Wheein’s room showing her how to play a particularly difficult part of the piece. She was listening intently, looking pretty focused on what he was saying.

“You have to move your right hand here,” he explained, then pointed at the sheet music, “right before this part starts, or you will lose the tempo. Try changing it after this note, and don’t forget the pedal, okay?”

“Got it,” Wheein said with a nod.

“Good, let’s hear it.”

She started playing the piece from the beginning, and everything went so smoothly that Youngjae was genuinely impressed. She had clearly been practising. However, she was about to get to the difficult part when the sound of her mother’s voice came all the way from the kitchen.

“No, dear. That is _not_ possible,” she said in an irritated tone.

“Then what do you suggest we do? Do you want to send her off every day knowing it will happen again?” it was Wheein’s father, sounding even more upset.

“She can just ignore them, can’t she?”

“For god’s sake, that’s not how it works!”

Youngjae blinked, turning to Wheein. She had stopped playing and was looking at the closed door with a frightful expression, her hands still hovering over the keyboard. Youngjae gently placed his hand on her shoulder.

“Wheein—”

“I’ll go to the recital,” she answered, cutting him off. “I’ll participate.”

“Are you sure?”

She nodded firmly.

“Will you be alright? You don’t have to—”

“I’ll do it.”

And with that, Wheein turned to the piano and resumed playing the piece. She played it almost angrily, pressing every key with intent, and to Youngjae’s surprise, it turned out perfect.

He did not need to ask what her parents were talking about; it was obvious they were arguing about their daughter. Maybe they were talking about the issue Wheein had been carrying in her heart for so long, the one that had been keeping her from enjoying the piano and literally everything else. For as long as he knew her, Youngjae could not recall seeing her smile even once. He wanted to help her, he could not leave her alone in such a fragile state. He just did not know how to help.

“How was it?” Wheein asked after she finished playing, voice tight and quiet.

“It was perfect,” Youngjae congratulated her. “Wheein, I don’t mean to be nosy, but—”

The door flew open suddenly and Wheein’s mother walked into the room with a tray of tea and sweet snacks. 

“Well, well, how was the lesson today?” she asked, a fake cheerfulness spreading all over her face.

Wheein kept quiet, so Youngjae rushed to answer.

“It was good, she is progressing so much.”

“I’m glad to hear that. Well done, Wheein-ah,” she said, gently patting her daughter’s back. Wheein barely reacted, offering only a small nod in response. “I brought you some tea and snacks, please enjoy them.”

“Thank you, Mrs Jeong,” Youngjae said with a bow.

It was clear that Wheein was not going to tell him what was wrong with her mother always prowling. Youngjae wished he could help, he just did not know how.

* * *

Later that night, Youngjae stepped out of the shower and immediately wrapped a towel around himself, shivering at the loss of warmth. The whole issue with Wheein had him worried, yes, but the fact that he had seen Jaebum and Jinyoung walking to the library together a few days prior would not leave his mind either. He had thought of just asking Jaebum about it, but he was afraid of ruining everything now that things were slowly getting back to normal between them. Maybe he should just keep quiet, although he knew very well that that did not work with Jaebum.

Just as he had finished getting dressed, he heard the door of the room opening and closing. Jaebum let out a long sigh as he dumped his bag on his bed, then rolled his shoulders and stretched.

“Oh, you’re back.” Youngjae stepped out of the bathroom, ruffling his hair dry with a towel. Jaebum gave him a small smile.

“Could have waited for me.”

“I was tired.” Youngjae sat down on his own bed, watching as Jaebum emptied the bag and pulled out several books and notebooks. “Have you been working until now?”

“Yup, I needed to finish that damn assignment. Professor Ko has been kind enough to extend the deadline, so I couldn’t slack off any more.”

Youngjae hummed, nodding.

“I see.”

Jaebum glanced at him over his shoulder.

“And what have you been up to?”

“Nothing much, just classes, revising and Wheein’s lessons. Same as usual.”

Jaebum turned his head, facing away from Youngjae.

“Right.”

It was suddenly so awkward that Youngjae could have sworn the air had got thicker. There had been a slight change in Jaebum’s tone which he immediately noticed. He was about to ask what was wrong when Jaebum spoke again.

“I saw Jinyoung the other day, you know.”

 _I know_ , Youngjae wanted to reply.

“Oh, you did?” he said instead.

“Yeah. He knows you’ve been avoiding him,” Jaebum said, still not facing Youngjae as he organised his stuff. “Or at least, he suspects it.”

Youngjae frowned. His stomach started feeling funny.

“So?”

“Nothing.” Jaebum turned around to face him. “Just letting you know. He seems quite nice though, even though I know he was a huge dick to you.”

“And yet you hang out with him.”

Jaebum raised an eyebrow.

“You know, it would be fucking good if you let go of your grudges every once in a while, Youngjae.”

Youngjae stopped drying his hair, draping the towel over his shoulder before moving to his feet.

“I am not holding a grudge.”

“Yes, you are.”

“He hurt me.”

“Okay, he did, but I’m sure he didn’t mean to.”

“That doesn’t change anything.”

“Did you ever tell him how you felt?”

Jaebum’s eyes bore into Youngjae’s. The younger swallowed.

“He didn’t like me back.”

Jaebum huffed.

“Stop assuming other people’s feelings. It’s your defence mechanism. I don’t know whether you’re scared of commitment or you’re just insecure, but the thing is that you always assume they don’t like you or aren’t interested and then you distance yourself,” he explained. “I know you well, Youngjae. And I wish you wouldn’t do that.”

That was a low blow. Youngjae fought the urge to step back.

“You don’t know half of it, Jaebum,” he replied, voice tight.

“What I don’t know is why you’re getting so worked up about me seeing Jinyoung once when you already seem to be seeing someone else,” Jaebum retorted, unable to hold it in anymore.

Youngjae’s heart skipped a beat.

“Sorry?” he asked, feeling anger and unease bubbling up in his chest.

“I’m just going to be blunt about it. I saw someone called Mark sending you texts and saying how he can’t stop thinking about you. Aren’t you going to tell me about that or are you just going to keep hiding it from me?”

“Im Jaebum, did you read my fucking texts?” Youngjae asked, genuinely mad now. “That’s private!”

“You were brushing your teeth and it popped up on your screen, I just—”

“No, fuck, no! It’s my privacy, you have no fucking right to invade it like that!”

“Did you think I would be mad?” Jaebum cut him off, raising his voice. “Did you think I would be angry about you being with someone else?” Youngjae was taken aback by that question. “Answer me.”

“Yes! I did!” Youngjae exclaimed, finally speaking the truth. “You’ve been acting weird lately and I decided to be cautious about it because—”

“Because you love him.”

There was a long pause after that. Jaebum had a knowing look on his face, not an angry or sad one. Realisation hit Youngjae like a truck.

“Don’t you fucking dare read my texts again,” he simply said, grabbing his jacket and storming out the door.

Jaebum called after him, but Youngjae ran and ran, through the corridors and down the stairs of the dorm towards the main entrance. Jaebum gave up trying to go after him, knowing it would not bring any good outcome.

With a sigh, he went back into the room and closed the door, leaning against it. Youngjae’s silence and the expression on his face were telling enough; he was in love with that Mark. It had taken Jaebum all that was in him not to appear affected by it in any way, but now that he was alone he could feel his throat tightening with emotion. The feelings were unstoppable.

He picked up his lyrics notebook and sat on the bed, briefly checking the time on his phone. With his jaw tight and slightly shaky hands, he grabbed a pen and wrote the final title of his song.

_1:31 am._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i am back from the deep abyss of real life, yay! so sorry about that, but i hope this slightly longer update makes up for my absence ;) i promise i will try to update more often from now on!
> 
> also, happy (belated) lunar year everyone! if you celebrate, hope you had a very nice time with your loved ones ♥


	13. Chapter 13

Youngjae was shivering by the time he got to the front door of the dorm. He had clearly underestimated the cold and the amount of snow, and in his hurry had grabbed a light coat instead of the thick one he usually wore.

It was quite late, nearly 2 am, so all the lights in the hall were out. After a moment’s hesitation, Youngjae pushed the door open and stepped inside. The lights turned on automatically, but everything was so silent that even his careful steps seemed a thousand times louder. Rubbing his hands at the warmth, Youngjae paced back and forth, stopping briefly to look at the staircase that led to the upper floors. He did not want to think of the reason why he was there. It was Jinyoung’s dorm, but also Mark’s.

Before he could think about it any further, he pulled out his phone and opened the chat he shared with Mark. He suddenly stopped himself. Mark was probably sleeping, and even though the next day was a Saturday, it was really late. The last thing Youngjae wanted was to bother him.

“What the hell am I doing?” he murmured to himself, feeling utterly lost.

“Hey,” a voice said behind him, “can I help you, buddy?”

Youngjae turned around with a start. A boy had just walked through the door. He was wearing a thick black padded coat and a pair of sweatpants, while the lower part of his face was covered by a white face mask. He was carrying a bag from the 24-hour convenience store nearby.

“Oh, um, well,” Youngjae stammered, “I was… I’m looking for a friend.”

“Oh, okay,” the other one said, his voice muffled by the mask. He pulled it down, however, to reveal a friendly smile full of white, perfect teeth. “I can help you, if you’d like. I know almost all the guys in this dorm.”

It took Youngjae a minute to recognise that face. He was sure he had seen it before, but where?

“Do you know Mark? Mark Tuan?”

“Mark? Of course, he’s my roommate!”

It all made sense now. Something clicked in Youngjae’s head.

“Then you must be Jackson,” he said.

“The one and only,” the other replied with a chuckle. “Are you Youngjae, by any chance?”

Youngjae blinked a few times, surprised. He had not imagined Mark would have talked to his friends about him.

“Ah, yes, that’s me,” he said, bowing politely. “Nice to meet you.”

“Likewise.” Jackson bowed briefly, and then wrapped his arm around Youngjae’s shoulders immediately. “Come on up, then. I just bought a few drinks and we’re playing Overwatch, join us!”

“B-But I would hate to be a bother, I just—,” Youngjae started, feeling quite flustered as Jackson led him towards the staircase.

“Come on, it’s not a bother, it’ll be fun! Plus, Mark hyung will be so happy to see you!” Jackson clapped excitedly.

It seemed that Jackson was not going to take a ‘no’ for an answer. Youngjae let himself be brought to their dorm room, since he had originally ended up there because he wanted to see Mark. Maybe staying and playing video games was not a bad idea. He could not be in the same room as Jaebum, at least not for now.

Jackson opened the door to the room he shared with Mark, and as soon as he set foot inside, he announced in a singsong voice:

“Mark hyung, you will never guess who I bumped into on my way back!”

“I don’t know, G-Dragon?” Mark said with a chuckle.

Youngjae stepped into the dimly lit room. Mark was clad in black pyjama bottoms and a navy oversized hoodie, sitting on the edge of the bed and holding a PlayStation controller. When he saw Youngjae, his breath seemed to hitch in his throat and his laugh immediately stopped.

“Youngjae!” he exclaimed, an impossibly wide smile tugging at his lips. “What are you doing here?”

He jumped to his feet and walked up to Youngjae, pulling him into a tight hug. Youngjae hugged him back without thinking, even forgetting for a second that Jackson was in the room. The fresh smell of Mark’s hoodie was comforting.

“I found him downstairs,” Jackson said, clearing his throat briefly. “He said he was looking for you.”

Mark turned to Youngjae with a questioning look on his face.

“Yeah, I was,” Youngjae said with a slightly nervous chuckle. “I couldn’t sleep, so I stepped out to have a walk and I wondered if you’d be awake. I don’t want to intrude, though, I—”

“Your hands are freezing,” Mark murmured, gently holding Youngjae’s hands. “You should have worn something thicker if you were going out, Youngjae-ah.”

Jackson smiled to himself, but none of the other two saw it.

“Sorry, I didn’t know it’d be so cold,” Youngjae lied.

Mark looked up, his eyes boring into Youngjae’s. His dark gaze was clean, but deep and intense at the same time. It almost seemed like Mark could tell that Youngjae was bluffing.

“It’s alright,” he said eventually, “would you like to play Overwatch?”

Youngjae nodded quickly and the three of them sat on Mark’s bed. Mark began explaining to Youngjae how the game and the controls worked while Jackson pulled out the bag he had been carrying and retrieved two bottles of soju.

“Sorry mate, I didn’t know you were coming, but you can have mine if you want,” he told Youngjae.

“Oh, no, it’s fine. I don’t really like soju, so I’m okay with just water,” Youngjae said, shaking his head softly.

“I think there’s some cola in the fridge,” Mark remembered. “If you want something sweet, I mean.”

Jackson got up and checked the fridge, clicking his tongue.

“Nope, I drank the last one yesterday. I can always go next door and ask Jooheon and Minhyuk,” he mused.

“Seriously, it’s alright,” Youngjae insisted, slightly flustered. “I don’t want to wake other people up. I’m fine, really.”

“Don’t worry! It’s Saturday tomorrow, everyone’s either awake or out partying,” Jackson said, and with that, he was out the door before Youngjae could reply.

“Yes, he’s always like that,” Mark’s voice said beside him. “Trying to help and please everyone.”

Youngjae turned to him, letting out a small chuckle.

“I see.”

“Something’s bothering you,” Mark said after a beat. “Is it that guy from a while ago?”

Youngjae suddenly remembered the alley, how he was pressed up against the wall while Mark used his body to hide him so Jinyoung would not spot him. He shook his head.

“I’m fine, it’s nothing. Just… worried about school stuff.”

Mark put down the PlayStation controller and turned to face Youngjae with his whole body, letting out a soft sigh.

“You’re a terrible liar, did you know?”

Youngjae looked up, eyes widening slightly.

“What?”

“Why don’t you want to tell me the truth?” Mark asked, head tilting to one side. “Youngjae-ah, don’t you trust me?”

He had gently placed his hand over Youngjae’s.

“I… it’s not that,” Youngjae replied. He realised he had lowered his voice until it was merely above a whisper.

“Then what is it?”

Mark’s voice sounded different when he whispered. It seemed even deeper, if that was possible. It echoed in Youngjae’s ears.

He glanced up, meeting Mark’s expectant, curious gaze. The expression on the boy’s face was open and inviting, as if he were saying _come on, you can trust me, I won’t hurt you._ It was speaking right to Youngjae’s soul.

“I,” Youngjae began, swallowing thickly, “I had an argument with my roommate. A pretty strong one.”

Mark nodded slowly, his hand tightening slightly around Youngjae’s.

“And you ran out.”

Youngjae nodded as well, looking down at his lap.

“I didn’t know where to go.”

“You can stay here if you want,” Mark said in a comforting voice. “You can sleep on my bed.”

“What about you?”

“I think there’s an inflatable mattress somewhere in Jackson’s closet. I’ll grab that.”

“No,” Youngjae said before he could stop himself. The other looked up at him. “It’s your bed, I can’t just get here and kick you out of it.”

Mark smiled.

“Are you asking me to sleep with you?”

“U-uhm, yes,” Youngjae stuttered, “on the same bed, of course. As in, sleeping together, but not that kind of _sleeping_ , you know.”

He willed himself to stop talking before he ruined it any further and made a fool of himself. Which he was afraid he had already done. Mark let out a soft chuckle and squeezed his hand again.

“Alright, then. I won’t even touch you, okay? You won’t know I’m there.”

“It’s okay, you—”

“And I’m back!” Jackson said, throwing the door open. He proudly held up a two-litre bottle of cola and showed it to the other two boys. “With lots of fuel for this gaming night of ours! Minhyuk said we’d better take this because it gives Jooheon gas. Where are the snacks, Mark?”

Mark, who had withdrawn his hand from Youngjae’s, got up from the bed after giving him a small smile.

“I kept them in my closet. Don’t eat all the jelly or you’ll get another cavity.”

“I did _not_ get—”

“It was this big,” Mark held up his whole fist. “Youngjae, you should have seen it.”

“Don’t listen to him, Youngjae!” Jackson protested, slapping Mark on the chest. “I’m a very healthy bloke.”

Youngjae let out a laugh.

“Hmm, jelly doesn’t seem so healthy to me, right Mark?” he tried to tease.

Jackson turned to them both with an expression of pure betrayal on his face.

“I leave for two seconds and you two are already teaming up to diss me? Wow, the audacity.”

“Youngjae’s staying tonight,” Mark informed him. “Is that okay with you?”

Youngjae looked up just in time to see Jackson glancing over at him and Mark, then nodding slowly, a smile on his lips.

“Of course it’s okay. You can stay for as long as you want.”

“Thank you so much,” Youngjae said, nodding politely.

Mark rummaged a bit through his closet, eventually pulling out another pair of pyjama bottoms and a hoodie.

“Youngjae, you can borrow this to sleep,” he said. “It’ll be much more comfortable than jeans.”

“Oh, thanks,” Youngjae replied, getting up and hesitantly taking the folded clothes. “I think I’ll go change now before I fall asleep.”

“Bathroom’s right here,” Mark nodded, opening the door for him.

“Thank you, seriously.”

Mark shrugged a shoulder, giving him a wink.

“It’s nothing.”

Youngjae closed the door behind himself and started to change his clothes. His phone, which he had left on the little ledge above the sink, vibrated with a string of texts. He knew who it was without even checking.

_kyum: man jaebums not answering the phone_

_kyum: is he sleeping?_

_kyum: u with him? is he okay?_

_kyum: i need to borrow smth from him_

With a tiny sigh, Youngjae picked up his phone and replied.

_ARS: Sorry, Yugyeom, I’m not in the dorm atm_

_ARS: He might be asleep tho, it’s late_

_kyum: what do u mean ur not in the dorm?!_

Youngjae pinched the bridge of his nose. That was a conversation he really did not want to have right now, so he tried to find a way to avoid it.

_ARS: Look, I can’t talk right now_

_kyum: oh i get it_

_ARS: …You do?_

_kyum: ur hooking up with somebody!! thats why you cant talk isnt it?_

_kyum: use protection hyung!!! better safe than sorry ;)_

Yugyeom sent those last two texts so fast that Youngjae could not even type up a proper reply. He thought of Mark and blushed, flustered, before trying to respond as quickly as possible.

_ARS: Oh my god SHUT UP it’s not that!!_

_ARS: Anyway I have to go. Talk later_

_ARS: You perv_

_kyum: hey Youngjae hyung, Bambam here_

_kyum: have fun but tell us all about it tomorrow!_

_ARS: Get lost you two_

And with that, Youngjae turned off his phone. He needed to get his mind off things, at least for a few hours.

He exited the bathroom and went back to Mark’s bed, where he and Jackson were sitting already. Mark scooted over a bit so that he could sit down.

“Looks good on you,” he murmured, adjusting the collar of the hoodie Youngjae was wearing, “better than it does on me.”

Youngjae blushed softly and Jackson cleared his throat, getting their attention.

“Shall we start playing or what? Youngjae still needs to learn the controls and stuff,” he said, before proceeding to explain how the game worked.

Youngjae listened attentively and then tried to play a few turns. It did not turn out so well at first because too much seemed to be going on and he found it hard to keep up, but after a bit, with Mark’s tips, he started to get the hang of it. They played for hours, eating snacks and drinking straight from the cola bottle. Jackson offered Youngjae soju again, but he just politely declined. 

It was past 5 am when they finally turned everything off and decided to go to bed. After brushing his teeth, Jackson bid them goodnight and fell asleep seconds after resting his head on the pillow, his breathing deep. Mark shook his head fondly and turned to Youngjae, gesturing for him to get in bed first.

“Your Majesty,” he jokingly bowed as Youngjae slid under the covers. The sheets had a soft smell that the younger could not quite identify.

“Oh, stop that,” he said, chuckling under his breath and curling up.

Mark turned off the lights and got under the covers as well, carefully positioning himself so that their bodies would not be touching. Youngjae blinked, eyes wide in the unexpected darkness of the room. He could barely see Mark, only able to hear him as he shifted on the mattress.

“You can come closer,” Youngjae eventually whispered. “You’re going to fall off the bed.”

He felt Mark pause his movements.

“I thought you didn’t want…”

“It’s okay.”

After a moment, Mark shifted slightly closer to him. Youngjae kept still until he felt Mark’s breath softly hitting his nose.

“Are you sure this is okay? I don’t want you to be uncomfortable,” Mark whispered, and god it was even closer than Youngjae had anticipated. His heart almost did a cartwheel in his chest.

“It’s fine,” he mumbled. “I’m comfortable.”

“Are you feeling better?”

Youngjae nodded, inhaling softly. He instantly recognised the smell in the bedsheets—it was Mark’s smell. The smell of his clothes, his skin.

“Much better,” he admitted. “Thank you.”

“I’m going to grab your hand,” Mark whispered, and carefully proceeded to take Youngjae’s hand under the duvet.

Youngjae appreciated the warning, since he would have probably jumped at the sudden touch. Feeling bold, he laced his fingers with Mark’s and was sure he could feel the other smile against the pillow.

“Sleep, Youngjae,” Mark murmured, his thumb swiping over the younger’s knuckles.

And Youngjae slept.

* * *

When he opened his eyes the next morning, the first thing he noticed was that Mark was nowhere to be found. Bleary-eyed, he turned his head to look at the other bed and saw that it was empty as well. Jackson had left, too? Did they really leave him alone in there?

With a soft groan, Youngjae sat up on the bed and stretched. A long yawn came out of his mouth, followed by a small smile. He had not slept so well in weeks. It was nice to actually feel well-rested for a change. He grabbed his phone and turned it back on, sitting cross-legged on the bed and taking some time to be fully awake.

The sound of the shower in the bathroom startled him and the phone fell out of his hands. Well, it seemed that there was still someone in the room. Youngjae did not know what to do with himself, so he took the opportunity to quickly change into his own clothes while the person in the bathroom finished showering. The trophies standing on the shelves above Mark’s desk caught his attention, and he gravitated towards them like a moth to a lightbulb. All of them were basketball awards, some of them from the States, probably won while Mark was still living there. Another bunch were in Korean and more recent, judging by the date. The Seoul University Lions had apparently won many tournaments. Youngjae felt a bit bad that he was only noticing them now, although it was true that he had always been a little oblivious to sports in general.

“Oh, you’re awake,” Mark said from behind him.

Youngjae turned around and saw Mark walking out of the bathroom, ruffling his hair dry with a towel and wearing his usual outfit of joggers and sweatshirt.

“Yeah. I thought you and Jackson had left,” Youngjae admitted, chuckling.

“He did leave, a couple hours ago,” Mark replied, checking his phone for the time. “I don’t know where he went, though. I was too tired and fell asleep again.” He finished drying his hair and threw the towel aside. “Did you sleep well?”

There was a faint pink colour on Mark’s cheeks when Youngjae turned to look at him. It probably was from the steam of the shower.

“Oh, yes, I slept well. Very well, indeed,” he replied with a nod. “Seriously, thank you for letting me stay here.”

“It’s alright. I love spending time with you.” Mark patted his shoulder. “I hope you had fun last night and that it helped you get your mind off things.”

“It really did, yeah.”

“You know you can always talk to me if you ever need to,” Mark told him after a pause. “I’m here 24/7.”

“Thank you, really,” Youngjae said with a smile. “It means a lot.”

Mark nodded slowly and grabbed a sports bag by the bed.

“Well, would you like to go grab some breakfast with me? Although it’s already midday, I should probably say lunch instead,” he suggested with a grin. “I’ve got swimming practice at two o’clock, we have plenty of time.”

Youngjae took his phone and pushed it into his pocket.

“Yeah, let me just wash my face and I’ll be ready to go.”

“Cool.”

They decided to go to the nearest cafeteria in the campus because the food was cheap and not that bad. Since Youngjae had only brought a light coat the previous night, Mark lent him one of his warm padded jackets.

“You know, I admire you a lot, hyung,” Youngjae said as they were eating dessert—a bowl of diced fruit.

Mark looked up from his food, raising his eyebrows.

“You do? Why?”

“You came from America to the other side of the world, on your own and at a very young age. And you’re doing so well, your family must be very proud,” Youngjae explained. “I came from Mokpo, which isn’t all that far at all, and sometimes I feel like I’m a million miles away from home. Don’t you miss it?”

Mark chewed on a piece of strawberry, thinking for a moment.

“Of course I miss it. Every single day,” he replied, nodding. “I talk to my parents on a regular basis through skype and all, so it makes the nostalgia more bearable, but of course I miss it. I miss my family, my friends, the beach, the weather, the food.” He let out a soft sigh, followed by a bright smile. “But you know, Seoul is not so bad at all.”

“Are you planning to go back sometime?” Youngjae wondered.

“I suppose I’d like to go back after I graduate from university,” Mark mused. “To pay them a visit, at least. I can’t be travelling back and forth right now because money’s a bit tight.”

“They must be dying to see you.”

“I’m sure, but luckily they’re busy enough. My siblings are all there, so at least they can spend time together.”

Youngjae nodded, absently returning to his food. They still had at least two years left to graduate, but he already knew that if Mark ever left, he would miss him terribly.

They finished eating and Mark announced he needed to get to the pool, since it was nearing two o’clock. Youngjae knew he had to get back to his dorm room sooner or later, but decided to walk Mark to the sports complex first. They were about to reach the building when Youngjae’s phone vibrated insistently with an incoming call. It was a number he did not recognise but he picked it up anyway.

“Hello?”

“Y-Youngjae?” a frail voice said from the other end. “I… it’s Wheein.”

It was Wheein indeed. And by the sound of it, she was crying.

“Wheein? Are you okay?” he asked, slightly panicked.

“Please, I-I know I shouldn’t have taken your number from mum’s phone but I n-need help,” she managed, sobbing softly. “I’m at school.”

“At school?” he replied, frowning, then suddenly remembered that Wheein took extra math lessons two Saturday mornings a month. “What happened? Are you crying? Talk to me, Wheein.”

Mark had stopped walking and was watching Youngjae with worry creasing his features, his hand tightly gripping the strap of his sports bag.

“If it’s n-not too much trouble… c-could you come pick me up?” Wheein said, her voice low and scared.

“Don’t worry, I’m on my way,” Youngjae said without thinking. If Wheein needed his help, he would be there as soon as possible. “Hold on, I’ll be there soon!”

“P-Please get here quickly,” she sobbed.

“What happened?” Mark asked, alarmed, when Youngjae hung up the phone.

“I need to go get a bus,” Youngjae replied in a rush, running his hands through his hair. “My piano student just called me and asked me to pick her up from school. She was crying and shaking, she sounded terribly scared. I need to get there now.”

“Hey, wait, wait,” Mark stopped him, grabbing his wrist. “Do you know what happened? Did she tell you? Is she feeling sick?”

“No, no, I don’t know! I need to go, Mark, sorry.”

“You won’t get there fast enough by bus,” Mark replied, pulling out his own phone and pressing it to his ear. “Hello? Namjoon-ah? It’s Mark, hi. I’m good, yeah, just calling because I need to ask for a favour.” There was a brief pause. “Yes, there’s been an emergency and if I could borrow your car I’d be extremely grateful. It’ll only be for a few hours, you’ll have it back tonight at the most.”

Youngjae blinked, watching as Mark spoke on the phone and easily got them a car. He could not drive, though. Perhaps Mark could.

“There, done,” Mark said triumphantly after a moment. “My friend is on his way here to give us the keys.”

“How…?” Youngjae blurted out. “You can drive?”

“There are many things I can do, Youngjae-ah.” Mark gave him a soft smile and gently squeezed his hand. “I'll drive us there in no time.”

“B-But… your swimming practice?” Youngjae remembered, pointing at the sports centre.

“Fuck that, this is more important,” Mark shook his head. “I’ll swim four hours tomorrow instead of two and that’s it.”

Youngjae let out a nervous chuckle.

“You’re unbelievable.”

“Anything for you.”

Before Youngjae could reply, a tall boy came running up to them. He was wearing basketball clothes with the Seoul University Lions logo and had put a long padded coat over them, as if he had had to leave the practice in a hurry. Which he probably had.

“Hyung,” he said, breathless, as he approached Mark. “This better be a fucking life or death emergency.”

“It is,” Mark assured him, bowing as the other tried to get his breath back. “Thank you so much, Namjoon-ah, I owe you one.”

“You owe me one thousand,” Namjoon corrected, breathing through his nose. He looked over at Youngjae, who bowed so deep he nearly reached the ground.

“Thank you so much, really,” Youngjae said. “You’re doing us a great favour.”

“No problem,” Namjoon said, nodding politely before turning to Mark. “I want it back before tonight, okay? Or my dad will slaughter me.”

“Understood,” Mark said, pulling him into a tight hug. “Thanks so much, Namjoon-ah! I’ll treat you to some of the best meat after we win the next tournament.”

“Get off me and leave, wasn’t it supposed to be an emergency?” the other protested, although there was a huge grin on his face. He threw the keys at Mark, who caught them in the air easily.

“We’ll get going then! See you, and thanks again!” Mark said as he grabbed Youngjae’s wrist and led him to the car park outside of the campus.

Namjoon’s car was a black Kia that was parked right by the campus entrance. Mark opened it and left his sports bag in the boot before sliding onto the driver seat. Youngjae sat beside him and gave him the address of Wheein’s school.

“We need to hurry, she might be in danger,” Youngjae said, his hands slightly shaky as he checked the address on his phone.

“Don’t worry, I'll be quick,” Mark replied, starting the engine and exiting the car park to merge into traffic. "You'd better hold on tight."

He sped up the car, the motion pressing Youngjae against the backrest of his seat. Mark glanced at him and gave him a hopeful smile, trying to comfort him.

Youngjae just nodded and focused on taking deep breaths through his nose, his phone tightly squeezed in his hand. They needed to get there _fast_.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay i know it's been a whole month since i posted the last chapter, please forgive me for being so absent ;_; i'm dealing with tons of real life stuff rn (my job, phd, acting classes and rehearsals, help), but i'm still so so very grateful for the few of you that are still reading this fic *hugs and smooches you all* ♥ so in return **i will post the next chapter before the end of this week!** please look forward to that as well *✲ﾟ*｡✧
> 
> ps. how are y'all doing after such a powerful comeback bc i'm still trying to deal with the amount of feelings ♥ aaah i seriously love this album and the concept of it, our boys deserve the world!! ~~this is a reminder to keep streaming the Look mv~~


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning for bullying in this chapter. Please read with caution!

The drive to Wheein’s school was a stressful one. Every time they had to stop at a red light, Mark drummed his fingers impatiently on the wheel and Youngjae’s throat became a bit tighter.

“She just texted me to hurry,” Youngjae mumbled, checking his phone. “Hyung, we need to hurry up.”

“Got it,” Mark said, shooting off as soon as the light turned green again.

The school grounds were quite impressive, the few different buildings surrounded by garden areas and a white fence.

“It’s here,” Youngjae announced, and Mark slowed down to a stop.

Youngjae could not see anyone waiting outside and wondered where Wheein must be, heart hammering in his chest. He immediately unfastened his seatbelt and bolted out of the car, crossing the fence and taking the path that led to the school’s main entrance. Mark called after him, but after getting no response, he got out of the car as well and followed.

Just as Youngjae was approaching the steps that led to the door, it suddenly flew open and Wheein herself came out, flinging her bag over her shoulder and looking down at the ground.

“Let’s go,” she pleaded, gently pushing Youngjae back. “We have to go.”

“Wheein, are you okay? What happened?” he wanted to know, placing his hands on her shoulders.

She would still not look at him, trying to hide her face. With a frown, Youngjae looked up and saw a group of three girls walking out the door. They seemed to be about Wheein’s age and were wearing school uniforms as well.

“Oh, look at that, she called her mummy!” one of them said with a pouty face upon noticing that Wheein was clinging to Youngjae. The other two laughed.

“Just like a little baby,” another one said.

“Come on, don’t be like that, we were just having some fun! We were laughing along with you, not at you!” the third one joked, and they laughed again.

So that was what was going on. Full of rage, Youngjae grabbed Wheein’s shoulders, turned her around, took her hand and started leading her back to the car.

“Let’s go, Wheein, let’s get away from this bunch of losers,” he said between gritted teeth, loud enough for them to hear.

“Sorry, who are you calling a loser?!” one of them yelled, quickly following them.

“You can call anyone to come pick you up, fatty, but you’ll always be on your own in school! There will be nobody to protect you!” another one said.

Wheein did not say a thing. Youngjae tried to walk faster, and they were about to reach the car when Mark, who had been observing everything from the fence, passed them and went the opposite way. Youngjae halted, turning around with his arm around Wheein’s shoulders.

“You should keep your mouth shut if you don’t want your teeth to be kicked in,” Mark said with a menacing voice, standing between the bullies and Youngjae and Wheein.

He was speaking in a tone that Youngjae had never heard him use before. It was scary.

“We could sue you for that, y’know? We’re minors!” one girl said, while the other two looked at each other.

“Go ahead then,” Mark said, opening his arms. “Let’s see if you’ve got the guts to mess with someone your own size. You sue me, I tell your parents what their lovely daughters get up to in school.”

Wheein clung to Youngjae, burying her face in his chest. He held her close, trying to will her to calm down.

“Y-You don’t even know who our parents are!”

“You clearly underestimate my resources,” Mark said, shaking his head. “If I ever see you near Wheein again, there will be consequences, and they won’t be good,” he added, his voice turning dark. “Every minute and every second that you spend in this school, I will know what you’re up to. And so will your parents.” The three girls took a step back, speechless, as Mark took a step forward towards them. “You have been warned.”

Before any of the girls could reply, Mark turned around and told Youngjae and Wheein to get in the car. He then slid onto the driver seat and immediately drove off, hands tight on the wheel.

None of them said anything for a while. Wheein took a paper tissue from her pocket and blew her nose, while Mark kept his eyes fixed on the road and Youngjae glanced at them both. He looked in the rear-view mirror and gave Wheein a concerned look.

“You alright?” he asked. “We can drive you home.”

“I don’t want to go home,” she replied, shaking her head softly. “I need to calm down first. I just… thank you, by the way.” She let out a small sigh. “For driving all the way to the school. And for helping me, uh…”

“Mark,” Youngjae said, “his name’s Mark.”

Mark turned to them with a lovely smile, all traces of his previous anger and menacing expression long gone.

“Nice to meet you, Wheein,” he said, to which she nodded.

“You too.” There was a brief pause. “Do you really know their parents?”

Mark chuckled, shaking his head.

“I have absolutely no idea who they are. But what I said is true—with internet, it’s not hard to find. So don’t worry, it’s a tool I will definitely use if I have to.”

Wheein smiled softly.

“Thanks.”

“Have you eaten?” Youngjae asked.

“Not yet.”

“Then I know just the place,” Mark said. “Let’s go eat something.”

He drove them to a green area by the Han river which was full of parks, gardens and convenience stores of every kind. They parked the car and Wheein stuck to Youngjae’s side as they walked down to the park, much calmer now. They decided to go for something quick and easy like ramen and kimbap rolls for the three of them, then sat down on the grass to eat after making the ramen in the store machine.

Wheein ate in silence as Mark and Youngjae exchanged glances. Youngjae finally turned to her, getting her attention as she slurped on some noodles.

“Wheein,” he began, “how long has that been going on?”

She swallowed the food, thinking it over.

“Over a year,” she finally admitted. “It wasn’t so bad until a few months ago.”

“What happened?”

Wheein looked ahead, her eyes fixed on the dark water of the river.

“I don’t know if that was the cause,” she mused, putting down her half-full cup of ramen, “but we got a new student in our class in the middle of the school year. His name’s Hanbyeol. Our teacher decided to sit him down next to me, I don’t know why, but we slowly got to know each other and became friends. He wasn’t just friends with me, though, he knew more people in class.”

“But you were close friends with him,” Youngjae added, to which Wheein nodded.

“He became my best friend. Which was great, because we have a lot of things in common, but after a few months I realised that he was getting very popular among the school girls. Well, actually, a friend told me. But what had that to do with me? It wasn’t supposed to affect me,” she said, her voice shaking at the end of the sentence. “Those three girls started bullying me just because I am his friend. He’s tried to stop them multiple times, but it didn’t work.”

 “They’re jealous,” Mark pointed out. “And have terrible low self-esteem issues.”

“I seriously don’t get why they’re always calling me fatty, ugly and useless. Just because I’m friends with Hanbyeol? Is that it?” she said helplessly.

Youngjae wrapped an arm around her shoulders and pulled her close, letting her sob quietly against his shoulder. Mark gently patted her back.

“So that’s why you lost interest in the piano,” Youngjae murmured.

“I lost interest in pretty much everything,” she replied. “I didn’t even want to get out of bed.”

“Wheein, you need to talk to your parents and teachers about this. Something needs to be done,” Youngjae told her.

“They will think it’s just some passing childish thing.”

“No, they won’t. Your parents are already worried about you.”

She let out a sigh and just resumed eating her ramen. Mark and Youngjae did the same after exchanging glances once again, and so the rest of them finished their food in silence.

When they were done eating, they walked for a while along the riverside until Wheein checked her watch.

“Oh my god, it’s so late,” she said. “Mum might be wondering where I am. I have to go back home.”

“It’s alright, we’ll drive you,” Mark offered, and Youngjae nodded.

They walked back to where the car was parked, got inside and Wheein guided Mark to her house. After a fifteen-minute long car ride spent blasting the latest kpop hits on the radio, they pulled up right in front of Wheein’s house. She grabbed her bag and opened the door to exit the car but paused for a moment before doing so.

“Guys,” she began, a smile on her round face, “seriously, thank you so much for today. For everything you’ve done. I’m feeling so much better now.”

“It’s no problem,” Youngjae said, turning around on his seat to grab her hand and squeeze it softly, “we’re just glad we could help.”

“You helped so much more than you think, I promise,” she nodded. “I’ve decided I’ll try to tell my parents. Well, my dad first.”

Youngjae nodded approvingly.

“If you want me to be present or provide evidence as a witness, you know I’m here.”

“Yeah, me too,” Mark added, raising his hand.

“Thanks, guys, but I think this is something I must do on my own. Besides, they’re my parents, they should trust me enough to believe me when it comes to this,” Wheein reasoned. “You’ll come to the recital, right, Youngjae?”

“Yes, of course,” he replied.

“You should bring Mark with you.”

“Oh, well I’ll gladly attend,” Mark said, smiling at her through the rear-view mirror. “Practice a lot!”

“I’ll work harder from now on,” she promised as she was getting off the car. “Bye, guys!”

“Bye, Wheein! See you soon,” Youngjae waved goodbye through the window as Mark drove off, watching as Wheein eagerly returned the gesture before walking into her house.

There was a long pause. The atmosphere had changed since Wheein was no longer in the car with them; it felt like it had turned incredibly more intimate. Youngjae turned his head towards Mark, watching as he sat on the driver’s seat, focused on the road, one hand resting on the wheel and the other on the gear lever.  

“So,” Mark began, briefly turning his head to give Youngjae one of his brightest smiles, “I’m your chauffeur now, aren’t I?”

That inevitably pulled a laugh from Youngjae.

“Oh, shut up. I didn’t even know you could drive.”

“I learned while I was still living in the States. I don’t even have a car here and I don’t need it either, but as you’ve seen, it’s useful.”

“I see,” Youngjae mused, leaning back against the seat’s backrest. “Your friend was really kind letting us borrow the car. We’ll have to buy him dinner.”

“You don’t have to.”

“I absolutely do. We wouldn’t have needed to borrow it if it hadn’t been for me.”

“Then I’ll buy you and Namjoon dinner,” Mark said, shrugging his shoulders.  

“You won’t!”

“No? Watch me then.”

Mark let out one of his loud laughs and Youngjae closely followed, feeling at ease and relaxed at last.

“You know,” Mark began after their laughter had died down, “I’m amazed.”

“Amazed? By what?”

“By how much you care for others. I already knew you were a caring person, obviously, since the very day I met you.” He smiled softly. “But I didn’t know it was such a big part of you. The way you always put other’s needs before yours… it’s genuinely amazing.”

“Oh… well,” Youngjae mumbled, slightly flustered, “it’s not exactly like that. Though I suppose I should be more selfish sometimes.”

Jaebum’s words suddenly played out in his mind again. _You always assume they don’t like you or aren’t interested and then you distance yourself_. Youngjae shook his head to make them disappear.

“Mm, maybe,” Mark pondered as he drove the car into the university’s car park, quickly finding an empty spot.

He turned off the engine and the lights, then dropped his hands to his lap with a long sigh. It was quite dark already, so when the lights turned off there was only the faint glow of a nearby lamp post and the moon shining down on them. Mark leaned his head back against the headrest and turned to look at Youngjae. The younger returned the look.

“I’m sorry you missed swimming practice, by the way,” he said. It sounded way louder than he had hoped.

The silence was heavy and laden with electricity; Youngjae could feel it in his fingertips.

“It’s okay, this was way more important,” Mark replied, shaking his head.

“I keep thanking you, I know, but you’ve done so much for me lately. And I don’t want to sound repetitive, but seriously, thank you,” Youngjae said after a beat, bowing his head softly.

Mark smiled fondly.

“I should be the one thanking you.”

“For what?”

“For finding me and helping me at the party that night. And for looking after me, staying with me.” A pause. “I feel most alive when I’m with you.”

Youngjae was sure his heart skipped a good couple of beats. He looked up at Mark, whose face was probably just as flushed as his, and smiled softly.

“Hyung, I—”

“Youngjae, do you want to kiss me as badly as I want to kiss you right now?”

Youngjae found himself nodding quickly.

“God… yes.”

Mark’s lips were on his as soon as he said the word. They kissed eagerly, hungrily, like they had been craving it without realising. It was overwhelming, breath-taking; so much that Youngjae’s head started spinning like he was in some sort of hallucination. Mark kept kissing him even after they briefly parted for air, his hands resting on both sides of Youngjae’s jaw. The kiss awakened something in him, he was not completely sure what, but it made his whole being _burn_. With a sigh, he held onto Mark and deepened the kiss.

* * *

When they got to the entrance of Youngjae’s dorm, Mark leaned in for one more kiss. Youngjae happily returned it, their lips pressing against each other like they had been made for just that. The grin on Mark’s face when they parted made Youngjae’s heart flutter.

“See you tomorrow, then,” he said, gently squeezing Youngjae’s hand.

“Yes. Oh, wait, this is yours,” Youngjae remembered, unzipping the padded jacket he had been wearing all day. Mark stopped him.

“No, no, keep it. It’ll keep you warm.”

“But don’t you want to wear it?”

“I think it looks better on you.” Mark gave him a wink.

“Okay, fine. See you tomorrow, hyung.”

“Good night, Youngjae-ah.”

Youngjae watched him walk away, hands in his pockets and feet quick like he was happily going on a walk to the countryside. The younger’s chest tightened with affection.

As he went up to his room, he replayed their kisses over and over in his head. It had been like nothing he had ever imagined or felt before, and it was amazing. Mark had the power to ignite even the smallest parts of his soul, and now that Youngjae knew what that felt like, he did not want to stop feeling it.

He was still on cloud nine as he ate dinner and sat down on his bed to check his social media afterwards, smiling to himself like a fool the whole time. However, that smile faltered when he stumbled upon a new post on his SoundCloud feed. Jaebum had uploaded a new song recently. It was called _1:31 am_.

Youngjae hesitated before pressing play. Suddenly, everything started to fall into place.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i promised i'd update before the end of the week and it's 11:27 pm here so I DID IT! *confetti cannon* wow it was such a ride
> 
> btw the song was right guys... the lion did kiss the deer ♥ 
> 
> hope you're all well and see you in the next chapter!


	15. Chapter 15

When Youngjae woke up that morning, the room was unsurprisingly empty. Lately it had become the norm to wake up to an empty room without Jaebum sleeping quietly in his bed. He wondered where his roommate would be, since he faintly remembered hearing Jaebum walking in the previous night, when he was already half asleep.

The moment he had listened to Jaebum’s song and registered the lyrics, Youngjae realised they needed to talk. He berated himself for underestimating the amount of unsaid things between them, for throwing such harsh words at Jaebum the last time they argued. However, he could not forget the things Jaebum had said to him either.

They definitely had to talk. For the sake of their friendship and their years together. Because no matter how harsh they had been towards each other, Youngjae did not want to lose Jaebum. It was obvious now that Jaebum had feelings for him, otherwise he would not have written such a heartfelt song. Youngjae knew him all too well. Jaebum only wrote songs about things that touched his soul and had a deep meaning to him.

Youngjae got up and picked up his phone, wondering when he would get a chance to talk to Jaebum in private. They did not have much time, since classes were already over and they were heading back home to Mokpo in two days, and Jaebum was nowhere to be found. Defeated, he threw the phone onto his desk.

“I’d better start packing,” he murmured to himself, hurrying and pulling out the suitcase. He needed to be quick, since Mark’s swimming competition started in two hours and Wheein’s recital was taking place in the evening, too.

He only managed to pack a few of his clothes before it was time for him to leave. Secretly glad that Jaebum had not come back yet, he grabbed his coat and slipped out of the room. Perhaps they would have more time to talk later.

Mark was waiting by the entrance when Youngjae arrived at the swimming pool. His whole face lit up with a wide smile and he pulled Youngjae into a loving hug as soon as he saw him.

“I’ve missed you,” he murmured against Youngjae’s temple.

“I missed you too.” Youngjae could not stop himself from grinning. “Are you nervous?”

“Nervous? Nah, this is just like a hobby to me. I’m excited!” Mark exclaimed, jumping up and down. He seemed to be well-rested and full of energy, and Youngjae loved seeing that side of him.

“Hey, Wheein’s recital is tonight, will you come with?”

“Tonight? Of course! I wouldn’t miss it for the world.”

Mark wrapped an arm around Youngjae’s neck and pulled him closer, pressing his nose against the younger’s hair.

“You smell nice.”

“Stop that, I haven’t washed my hair. It’s gross.”

“It smells of you. I like that smell.”

Youngjae was a blushing mess as he tried to push Mark away.

“Wow, will you look at that! If it isn’t the goldfish!” someone said behind them.

A group of three boys had come up to them, two of which Youngjae recognised. One of them was Jackson and the other was Namjoon, but the third one he did not know. Mark turned them both around with a laugh.

“I really want to get this over with so that you’ll stop pestering me with the whole ‘treason’ thing.” The three boys laughed heartily. “Youngjae, these are my best friends and basketball teammates—Jackson and Namjoon you know already, and the short one is Yoongi.” He leaned closer to whisper in Youngjae’s ear. “Don’t let his height fool you though, he can jump higher than everyone else.”

“Whatever he murmured about me, I’m not short, just travel-sized,” the boy said with a tiny smile and a nod. “What’s up, I’m Yoongi.” He then turned to Mark. “So this is _the_ Youngjae, huh.”

“Uhh.”

“ _The_ Youngjae?” Youngjae turned to Mark with a sly smile.

“Wow, it’s so late! I’ve got to get going before I get disqualified for not turning up,” Mark picked up his sports bag and set off, making everyone laugh.

“He wouldn’t stop talking about you,” Yoongi told Youngjae.

Mark gave him a playful glance over his shoulder and Youngjae’s heart did a cartwheel in his chest.

A few minutes later, they were all seated and the competition was about to start. Youngjae was sitting beside Jackson, who would not stop fidgeting.

“Calm down, he’ll be fine,” Youngjae told him.

“I know, but I can’t help it. I always get nervous before a competition.”

“But you’re not competing this time.”

“Doesn’t matter! My best buddy’s out there. He has to win.”

The seats were located on both sides of the Olympic-size swimming pool, which looked like a whole sea to Youngjae. If he had to swim from one side to the other, he knew he would surely pass out before even reaching the middle. He was not exactly used to exercising.

All the swimmers stepped out and took their positions. There were six of them. Youngjae struggled to find Mark at first, but soon spotted him. He was the one in the middle, wearing a white swimming cap and a pair of dark blue swim jammers that tightened around his legs. He pulled off his t-shirt and draped it over the back of a chair, the muscles on his broad back flexing under the pale skin. Youngjae coughed and looked away for a moment, but the sight was too good to miss, so he looked at Mark again and smiled upon seeing him wave. He immediately waved back and wished him luck with thumbs up.

“God, he’s showing off now,” Namjoon groaned.

Mark was stretching his arms and legs, looking wholly focused. He breathed deeply through his nose, his chest puffing, and proceeded to put on his swimming goggles, tightening them around his head.

“That’s because Youngjae’s here,” Jackson added, playfully wrapping his arm around Youngjae’s shoulders. The younger let out a soft laugh.

“Oh, come on.”

“It’s about to start, guys,” Yoongi shushed them with a flick of his hand.

All the swimmers got on their marks, bending down and getting ready to jump into the water as soon as the signal was given. Silence was suddenly as heavy as a rock, and Youngjae pursed his lips. He looked up, his eyes vaguely scanning the bleachers opposite, when he suddenly encountered a familiar face.

Jinyoung.

An uncomfortable heat spread over the back of his neck, quickly turning into freezing cold. Youngjae looked away before Jinyoung could spot him. He was so tense that the signal made him jump in his seat.

“Whoah there mate, you okay?” Jackson said, patting his shoulder.

“Yeah, yeah, it was just the noise,” Youngjae attempted a smile and forced himself to focus on the competition.

Mark was swimming with no rush, his limbs moving elegantly amidst splashes of water. He was currently in fourth position, but when they had to turn and swim back, he quickly overtook the boy swimming next to him and jumped into third. Jackson cheered loudly and Yoongi rolled his eyes.

“I’m going to go deaf because of you!”

“But our Markie-poo is third! Come on, Youngjae, help me cheer. I say ‘give me the M!’ and you go on, okay?” he tugged at Youngjae’s sleeve.

“Christ, leave him alone, can’t you see he’s embarrassed?” Namjoon cut in.

“It’s fine, just—,” Youngjae tried to reply, but Jackson quickly sat back down with a laugh.

“You’re right, Namjoon-ah, let’s not embarrass him in front of his boyfriend.”

Youngjae gave Jackson’s shoulder the hardest slap he could manage.

After the competition ended, Youngjae was the first to shoot off from his seat. He tried to locate where Jinyoung was to try and hide himself, but the boy was nowhere to be seen among the huge crowd that were going down to the pool to greet their friends who had competed. Mark pushed himself up and out of the swimming pool, yanking his goggles off with a huge smile on his face.

“See, you don’t belong in the water, you’re a true lion,” Namjoon said behind Youngjae.

“Oh, shut up, I ended up in second place. Wasn’t so bad for a first time, huh?” Mark said, breathless, as he took off the swimming cap. He was dripping wet, tiny droplets falling from the tip of his nose. He turned to Youngjae and could not resist the urge to pull him into a hug. “Youngjae-ah, thank you for coming to see me.”

“Ah, hyung, you’re wet!”

Behind them, Jackson whistled. Yoongi pinched his nipple in reprisal and he wailed. Despite Youngjae’s half-hearted protests, he did not attempt to push Mark away.

“You give me strength,” Mark told him before pulling back. “Let’s celebrate!”

“I hope you’re not meaning to celebrate tonight. We’re all going to Jooheon’s birthday party, remember?” Jackson said, wrapping his arms around both Mark and Youngjae’s shoulders. “Youngjae, you’re coming too.”

“What? I thought it was after Christmas break,” Mark said, grabbing his towel and ruffling his hair with it.

“Sorry, Jackson-hyung,” Youngjae said. “My student has a piano recital and Mark is attending with me. We promised to be there.”

“Hey, you play the piano too? That’s cool, man,” Yoongi said with a small smile.

“You can come to the party after the recital, though!”

“I’ll think about it,” Mark said, messing up Jackson’s hair. “I’m going to get changed. See you outside.”

Youngjae followed the other three boys outside into the chilly winter air. He knew Jackson was talking to him, but he could not process the words. His eyes kept scanning the crowd again and again, afraid that they would run into Jinyoung sooner or later. He wanted to run away.

“And that’s basically how I broke my nose,” Jackson finished with a shrug. “Have you ever broken a bone, Youngjae?”

“Sorry? Um, no, not really,” Youngjae murmured, looking away.

“What’s the matter? Are you looking for somebody?” Jackson turned around, trying to follow Youngjae’s line of sight.

“No, no, I’m not. I’m just waiting for Mark hyung to come out.”

“Wow, you’re as eager to see him as he is to see you! It’s only been a minute!”

More people kept walking out of the sports complex and it was giving Youngjae a horrible feeling of uneasiness.

“I need to go to the loo, can’t hold it in,” he lied. “Go on without me, okay? See you at the dorm.”

He had only just turned away from Mark’s friends when a familiar voice calling his name made him freeze on the spot.

“Youngjae-ssi?”

He turned around. Jinyoung was approaching him quickly, his cheeks flushed by the change in temperature.

“Jinyoung-ssi,” Youngjae said, forcing himself to smile. “Hi.”

Jinyoung bowed in greeting to all of them, and while the other three returned it, Youngjae only nodded his head. All his muscles were stiff.

“I never thought I’d see you here,” Jinyoung said cheerfully.

“Yeah, me neither,” Youngjae replied honestly.

“It’s been a long time, how have you been? I saw Jaebum-ssi the other day, by the way.”

“I know, he told me.” Youngjae swallowed, the fake smile still plastered on his face. “Everything’s going well, but um, I’m in a bit of a hurry, so…”

“Wait,” Jinyoung stepped forward and put his hand on Youngjae’s shoulder to keep him from leaving, “I just want to know how you’re doing. You never replied to my texts and I haven’t seen you around in a long time.”

Behind them, Yoongi, Namjoon and Jackson shared a worried look.

“I’m fine,” Youngjae said, a little more harshly than he had intended, pulling back from Jinyoung’s touch. “I’ve just been busy—”

“Hey, Youngjae-ah!”

Mark appeared out of nowhere, his sports bag hanging off his shoulder and the hood of his sweatshirt covering his slightly damp hair. He jumped into Youngjae’s space and wrapped an arm around him, pulling him close.

“I thought you guys were leaving without me,” he said with a chuckle, then noticed Jinyoung. “Oh, hi!”

“Um, hyung, this is Park Jinyoung,” Youngjae said, swallowing around the lump in his throat. “He’s majoring in literature.”

Mark, sensing his discomfort, quickly gave his shoulder a squeeze and nodded to Jinyoung.

“Mark Tuan,” he said easily. “Majoring in sports.”

“Nice to meet you,” Jinyoung said, taken aback, even though there was a smile on his face.

“You too,” Mark nodded once. “We’re in a little bit of a hurry, though, Jinyoung-ssi, so if you don’t mind.” He was already bowing and turning around, his arm still around Youngjae. “See you around!”

Jinyoung blinked a few times and bowed quickly, too, slightly befuddled.

“See you.”

Youngjae walked off with Mark, but looked over their shoulders to see Jinyoung blinking and leaving in the opposite direction. Before he could say anything, Jackson, Namjoon and Yoongi caught up to them.

“Who was that guy?” Jackson wanted to know. “Friend of yours?”

“More like an acquaintance,” Youngjae said.

“He was making you feel uncomfortable,” Yoongi pointed out. “Jackson was about to punch him in the jaw before you stepped in, Mark.”

“That’s right, I was ready to ruin his beautiful hair,” Jackson nodded.

“I don’t think that was necessary, though,” Youngjae said with a shake of his head. Mark pulled him even closer as they walked.

“Yeah, violence wasn’t necessary. I could tell you were uncomfortable, so I just helped you out of there.” He grinned. “Easy enough.”

Youngjae smiled.

“Thanks, hyung.”

“So!” Namjoon said, clapping his hands. “Are you guys coming to Jooheon’s party or not?”

Mark hummed softly and shook his head.

“We promised Wheein we’d go to her recital, guys. Sorry.”

“Alright, but if you change your mind, come over after it’s done. It’ll be a long night,” Jackson said, wiggling his hips.

“If ‘long night’ means you will crash in my room and snore like a rhino in a coma, I am absolutely not in,” Yoongi added, making everyone laugh.

“Liar,” Jackson pouted.

“I can confirm that, too.” Namjoon raised his hand.

“Don’t worry, Namjoon-ah, we’ll film him next time,” Yoongi said, pulling out his phone and winking.

“I hate you all!”

“Want to have dinner with me tonight?” Mark whispered in Youngjae’s ear, a smile on his lips. “Jackson will be at the party, so we can just chill in my room.”

Youngjae felt his face heating up at the prospect of being alone with Mark for the first time since they had kissed a few days prior.

“That… sounds good,” he whispered back with a nod.

“Nice.” Mark nuzzled his cheek briefly and then turned to his friends. “Let’s eat lunch together, guys! Food’s on me, since I nearly won today.”

All of them cheered. Jackson was so happy to be taken out to eat that he carried Mark on piggyback all the way to the restaurant.

* * *

“I’m ready,” Mark said as he stepped out of the bathroom, looking nice and fresh after a shower.

His hair was perfectly styled in a way that showed his forehead, and he was wearing black jeans and a simple grey turtleneck. Youngjae, who was sitting on the bed looking at his phone, looked up and suddenly lost his train of thought.

“Oh, wow,” he said, clearing his throat. “You look great.”

Mark let out a soft chuckle.

“He’s right,” Jackson added, peeking at him from behind a huge pile of clothes. “You look dashing and I haven’t managed to find a nice shirt to wear tonight!”

“Just wear the white one,” Youngjae told him, pointing at said piece of clothing. “It suits you.”

“But I wore that one last weekend.”

“Jackson, please,” Mark said, rolling his eyes. “It’s just a shirt.”

“And it brings out your eyes,” Youngjae added. Jackson arched an eyebrow.

“Does it?”

He immediately put it on and stood in front of the bathroom mirror, buttoning it up. After a moment of humming and turning this way and that, he seemed convinced and grabbed his jacket.

“You were right,” he told Youngjae. “I look damn good. So much, in fact, that I might even get laid tonight.”

“Well, not here,” Mark cut in, “I’ll be sleeping and you can’t kick me out. It’s the rules.”

Youngjae smiled to himself.

“I know the rules,” Jackson retorted, buttoning his left cuff. “And they’re shit. Don’t worry, though, I’ll manage.”

“You’d better.” Mark gave him a wink. “Good luck.”

“Have fun at the party!” Youngjae said when Jackson gave him a hug.

“You guys too at the recital,” Jackson replied, smirking. “Don’t be naughty and be back by eleven, okay?” he added in a shrill voice.

“Oh, come on, go,” Mark laughed, pushing him out of the room. “Get lost!”

Youngjae could not say anything, since he was leaning against the desk still laughing at Jackson’s funny voice. As soon as the door closed and they were alone, Mark pulled him close and kissed him senseless. Silence fell quickly over them and Youngjae clung to Mark, his hands tightly gripping the soft fabric of the turtleneck he was wearing.

“I’ve been wanting to do that the whole day,” Mark murmured when they pulled back, and Youngjae nodded.

“Me too.” He pecked Mark’s lips.

“By the way, you look gorgeous.”

Youngjae looked down at his jeans, black shirt and burgundy woollen sweater and blushed.

“Thanks.” He paused to glance at his watch. “But we should leave now, or we’ll be late.”

Mark smiled, gently squeezing his hand.

“Okay, let’s go.”

* * *

The school’s assembly hall was packed with people when they finally got there. It seemed nearly impossible to find a decent seat, since many parents and relatives wanted to be close to the stage to see their children. Youngjae could see Wheein’s parents sitting on the first row, but since he did not want to have to deal with Mrs Jeong’s intrusive questions, he directed Mark towards a couple of empty seats in the corner of the seventh row.

“I really hope she does well,” he murmured as the lights dimmed.

“You’re probably more nervous than her,” Mark said, taking his hand. “Don’t worry, she’ll be okay.”

“She doesn’t know just how much she’s capable of.”

Mark did not reply, he just held Youngjae’s hand a little tighter.

The first one to perform was a girl younger than Wheein who sang a lovely traditional song. After her came two boys and two girls that formed a string quartet and played two difficult pieces perfectly. Upon watching them, Youngjae remembered Jieun with a smile. He knew by her Instagram profile that she was visiting her family in the country and was having lots of fun.

The next one to perform was Wheein, and when they rolled the grand piano onto the stage, Youngjae straightened up in his seat. She walked in with deliberate steps, clad in a light blue dress and white shoes. She stopped in the middle, turned to the audience and bowed while they clapped. Youngjae could see she was looking for him in the audience and tried to wave his hand a little, but Wheein was already sitting before the piano.

Youngjae’s throat tightened as her hands hovered over the keys, and then she started playing the first fragment of Beethoven’s _Moonlight Sonata_. She did not make a single mistake, all the notes were in the right place and she seemed to be more focused than ever. Her eyes never once left the keys, and by the end of the piece, Youngjae’s heart felt like it was lodged inside his throat. Edvard Grieg’s piece _Morning Mood_ came right after, and even though Youngjae knew this was a difficult one for Wheein, she did not disappoint. She did it perfectly, her fingers dancing over the black and white keys and playing the most beautiful melodies.

Youngjae was on the brink of tears as the last few notes rolled in. Mark, who had not stopped holding his hand, had to let go when Youngjae jumped to his feet and started clapping with all his might. The whole assembly hall applauded, moved by Wheein’s raw sentiment. Even from his seat, Youngjae could see Wheein’s mother wiping a tear from her eye.

Wheein stood up and faced the audience to bow down, her eyes scanning the crowd once again. This time, both Youngjae and Mark waved their arms and even jumped to get her attention. Relief spread across her features upon spotting them, and she hastened to return the greeting with shaky hands. Then, with a soft smile, she walked down to where her parents were and let them envelop her in a tight hug. Mr Jeong kissed her forehead tenderly, and Youngjae felt relieved.

Everything was okay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *pokes head out of a bush* I'M BACK Y'ALL 
> 
> so sorry for the incredibly long wait, but these past weeks have been crazy for me! thankfully things have died down a bit so i've managed to finish this extra long chapter to compensate :) and now i'm off to bed because it's past 1 am and i am dead, take care ♡♡


	16. Chapter 16

The weight of Mark’s body on top of his was light and delicate, like Mark was holding himself back. Youngjae reached up and cupped the back of his head as they kissed, soft lips moving against each other.

“You’re a great kisser,” Mark murmured against his mouth, grinning.

“You’re not so bad, yourself.”

Chuckling, Mark pinched his sides. Youngjae squirmed, letting out a yelp.

They had gone to Hongdae after the recital, ready to celebrate with some nice food and drinks. When they felt they were starting to get too tipsy, they had decided to go back to Mark’s dorm room. Jackson, as expected, was with Yoongi and Namjoon at Jooheon’s party. He had updated his Instagram stories every five minutes, showing how Namjoon had to wear someone’s mum’s pyjama bottoms as punishment for losing a game of rock, paper scissors. Youngjae and Mark had laughed endlessly upon watching that one.

However, now they were curled up on Mark’s bed, lazily making out, their phones long forgotten on the nightstand. They were taking it slow, merely exploring each other’s body and reactions. Youngjae had never felt so comfortable with anyone else other than Jaebum, so this was all quite new.

“Youngjae-ah,” Mark murmured, pulling back to look at him.

“Hm?”

“What did Jinyoung do to you?”

The question caught Youngjae completely off guard. He stared up at Mark with wide eyes.

“Sorry,” Mark continued, gently stroking his cheek. “I was just curious. We’ve already avoided him twice and I wanted to know what happened.”

Youngjae swallowed.

“I used to like him,” he murmured. “But I got the wrong message and turns out he was interested in my friend.”

“And that broke your heart.”

“As much as I hate to admit it, yes. A little.”

Mark studied Youngjae’s face for a few seconds.

“Is that why you were crying at the party?”

Youngjae looked up at him, their eyes meeting.

“Yeah.”

Mark leaned down to kiss him again. His lips were warm and moist, and when he shifted his hips against Youngjae’s, the younger moaned softly. Fuelled by Youngjae’s reactions, Mark inched his hips forward one more time. The sound that came from Youngjae’s throat was like music to his ears.

“Hyung,” Youngjae began, a bit breathless, “sorry, I…”

“Don’t be embarrassed, angel,” Mark told him, placing a gentle kiss on his cheek. “There’s nothing to be ashamed of. I’m hard, too.”

He pressed his crotch to Youngjae’s thigh, and the younger could feel it clearly. Slowly, he brought his hand down and gingerly squeezed the bulge in Mark’s jeans. Above him, the other’s throat vibrated with a low moan. Just as he was moving to kiss Youngjae again, a bump against the door startled them.

“No, not my room,” Jackson slurred from the other side, giggling like a schoolboy, “Mark hyung and Youngjae are probably snogging in there.”

Another snicker came right afterwards. Youngjae supposed it must have been Namjoon.

“Shhhh!” Jackson shushed him, although he was laughing as well. “They mustn’t hear us. Mark hyung will kick my face in!”

“You’re such a chicken,” Namjoon huffed.

Youngjae and Mark froze, looking at each other and trying to hold back their laughter. It became even more difficult when they heard Jackson and Namjoon making obnoxious kissing sounds, and Youngjae could not help letting out a chuckle when he heard Jackson trip and fall on the hallway.

“Jesus, they’re shit-faced,” Mark murmured, his shoulders shaking as he laughed. He gently rolled off Youngjae, instead lying down beside him. “At least we’re lucky they didn’t just burst in.”

“Would have been hard to explain.” Youngjae was still trying to control his laughter. Once it finally subsided, he realised they had not been able to finish what they had started. Mark touched his cheek when their eyes met.

“Don’t worry about that, Youngjae-ah,” he mumbled tenderly. “We have plenty of time.”

Youngjae nodded, cuddling against him when Mark opened his arms invitingly. He rested his head on Mark’s chest and got lost in his thoughts for a few moments.

“Are you spending the Christmas break here, hyung?”

“Yeah,” the other replied, a hand absently caressing Youngjae’s hair. “Why?”

“You could come to Mokpo,” Youngjae said without thinking twice, “and spend a few days with my family.”

Mark looked down at him.

“Really? I wouldn’t want to be a bother, though.”

“You won’t. We have a big house, and they will love you. And so will Coco.”

“Who’s Coco?”

“Ah, she’s my dog.” Youngjae grinned. “Want to see a picture?”

He showed Mark a few pictures and videos he had of his beloved dog, and Mark seemed to be as enamoured with her as Youngjae was.

“Well, I suppose I could look into buying a train ticket, then,” Mark said after Youngjae showed him a video of himself playing the piano and singing while Coco howled along to the music.  

“Or course. Spending Christmas break alone should be against the law.”

“Are you sure I won’t bother your parents or anything?”

“Don’t worry, they’ll be fine. Mum loves to cook large meals whenever we’re all home, so she probably won’t mind having one more mouth to feed.”

Mark leaned down to peck Youngjae’s forehead.

“Thank you so much, angel.”

Blushing, Youngjae buried his face in the crook of Mark’s neck.

* * *

The next morning, as soon as they woke up, Youngjae helped Mark buy his train ticket. Since all the places in Youngjae’s train were already taken, he had had to buy one for the next day.

“I’ll pick you up at the station in Mokpo, don’t worry,” Youngjae told him before checking his watch. “I have to go back to my room and finish packing, hyung. See you later?”

“You surely will.” Mark pulled him into a soft kiss.

They had just pulled back when the door opened and a very dishevelled Jackson walked in, his hair messy and his fingers pressed to his temples.

“Nobody say a word,” he said, raising a finger. “Bloody hell, close those damn curtains! Are you trying to make me go blind?”

Smiling, Mark closed the curtains while Jackson plopped down on his bed dramatically.

“So, did you guys have fun at the party?” Youngjae asked.

“Too much,” Jackson replied, voice muffled by the pillows. “Met a friend of yours. Boomboom, I think.”

“I think you mean Bambam.”

“Whatever. Slim, silver hair, sick dance moves.”

Youngjae nodded.

“Yup, that’s definitely him.” He paused and hummed, thoughtful. “How does he get invited to every single party?”

“He told me he knows a lot of people in the campus,” Jackson mumbled, then rolled onto his side with a groan. “Hey, you’re still here?”

Mark and Youngjae looked at each other and Jackson smirked.

“I hope you haven’t done anything on my bed, guys…”

“Okay, time to sleep,” Mark said, grabbing a pillow and throwing it at Jackson’s face. “Night night, Jackson-ah.”

They walked out of the room before Jackson could say anything worse. Mark closed the door behind him and gave Youngjae a small smile.

“See you later, then?”

“Yes, definitely.” Youngjae gently squeezed his hand and then went to his dorm to finish packing.

* * *

The room was empty when he walked in, although Jaebum’s bed was unmade. That meant he had slept in there, whether it had been alone or not. Youngjae glanced around, mentally preparing himself to face Jaebum in case he returned, but in the meantime decided to just keep packing to distract himself.

It had not been long when a soft knock on the door brought Youngjae out of his thoughts. Frowning, he put down the jeans he had been folding and opened the door.

“Hey, man,” Yugyeom said, hands in his pockets, “can I come in?”

Youngjae nodded, stepping aside to let him in.

“Yeah, sure.”

“You’re packing already,” Yugyeom commented with a chuckle. “When are you leaving?”

“Oh, we’re leaving tomorrow, but there’s lots of stuff to pack, so.”

“We?”

Youngjae nodded, remembering that Jaebum had bought a ticket for the same train as him.

“Jaebum and I.”

Yugyeom nodded, slowly approaching Youngjae’s desk, where a picture of the three of them sat on the shelf. They were in the campus grounds on a lovely spring day, Jaebum standing between Youngjae and Yugyeom, holding them with his arms around their shoulders. Youngjae noticed Yugyeom was staring at it and approached him, standing behind him quietly.

“Yugyeomie, I’m sorry,” he mumbled.

Yugyeom turned around, his frown softening.

“What for?”

Youngjae gestured vaguely to the room around them.

“All of this, I don’t know. You must have noticed something was off.”

“I would have to be blind and deaf to not notice,” Yugyeom replied. “You and Jaebum hyung have… grown apart. And so quickly. I’m genuinely worried.”

Youngjae looked up at him. Yugyeom was one of his best friends, but he did not know about what he and Jaebum had. He did not know they had always been more than friends. He did not know that Youngjae liked boys. There were so many things Yugyeom did not that that were going to make that explanation very difficult.

“I just…” he exhaled. “It’s complicated.”  

There was a long pause. Yugyeom let out a deep sigh, looking at the photograph again.

“I’m not stupid.”

“What?”

“I’m not _stupid_ , Youngjae,” Yugyeom repeated, his broad shoulders tensing up. “I can definitely tell when something is off. And something is off right now, but you’re clearly refusing to tell me.”

“It’s not like that.”

“Then what is it?” Yugyeom asked, turning around to face him. He did not look angry but disappointed. Youngjae’s heart sank. “You barely hang out with us anymore. Bambam and I have barely seen you in over a week. What happened? Don’t I have the right to know?”

Just when Youngjae was about to answer him, the door opened slowly and Jaebum walked into the room. He paused upon seeing the scene before him, a frown nestling between his eyebrows.

“What’s the matter?” he asked, closing the door.

“You know, it’s good that you’re here. That way all three of us can discuss things directly,” Yugyeom said.

“Is there anything to discuss between us?” Jaebum retorted, briefly glancing at Youngjae, who gave him a slightly worried look.

“Hyung, are you going to pretend that nothing happened, like Youngjae?”

“I did not—” Youngjae started, but Jaebum spoke instead.

“Be clear, Yugyeom.”

“Okay. I know there’s something wrong between you guys. I don’t know what happened, but we barely hang out all together anymore. It’s like you’ve grown apart from each other and from the rest of us,” Yugyeom explained, resting his hip against Youngjae’s desk. “Everything was okay. Then one day it just wasn’t.”

“Youngjae and I have had a few disagreements,” Jaebum said after a moment. Youngjae could tell he was being extremely cautious with his words.

Yugyeom did not fall for it, though. He rolled his eyes.

“Oh, for the love of god, I’m not a child!” he threw his hands in the air. “Stop beating around the damn bush and tell me. I’m worried.”

Jaebum looked for Youngjae’s gaze. Their eyes met briefly until Youngjae looked down at his feet.

“We have to figure it out ourselves first,” Jaebum said eventually. “We… need to talk it out.”

The younger blinked a couple of times.

“Really, now?” He straightened up with a huff, shaking his head. “I’m sick of you leaving me out of stuff like I’m some annoying five-year-old you’re babysitting.”

“Yugyeom, wait—” Youngjae tried to stop him.

Jaebum also stood in his way, but Yugyeom easily pushed past him and disappeared out the door. Youngjae sat on his bed, defeated. He had managed to screw things up with his two best friends in record time.

Jaebum came back after a minute.

“He locked himself in his room, won’t let anybody in. _Now_ he’s acting like an annoying five-year-old.”

Youngjae did not have it in himself to laugh at the joke. He just stared down at the ground, his body feeling extremely heavy. He had had every intention of talking things out with Jaebum, but the confrontation with Yugyeom had left him in pieces.

“Youngjae.”

Jaebum was looking at him with his clear gaze, the one that did not hide anything at all behind it. Bare and pure like Jaebum himself.

Youngjae shook his head.

“I can’t do this.”

He buried his face in his cupped hands, leaning forward. Everything seemed to be crumbling down suddenly and he started to become anxious. He could not get anxious now, not when he was going back home the next morning. He felt someone grabbing his hands and realised he had been shaking the whole time.

“Youngjae, breathe,” Jaebum instructed.

“I’m breathing.”

“You’re hyperventilating.”

It took him a huge effort to take a deep breath through his nose. His lungs seemed to be burning. Jaebum gripped his hands a bit tighter.

“Yes, like that. Now breathe out.”

Youngjae opened his eyes to look at his friend. He remembered the first time they saw each other, when Jaebum kicked a football into Youngjae’s garden and later came by to retrieve it. Youngjae stood behind his mother’s legs while she kindly returned the ball to Jaebum, and only pressed his face further into her hip, embarrassed, when she told him to say hi to their new neighbour.

He closed his eyes and let a few tears slip past them, his deep breath breaking into a sob. He felt Jaebum wrapping his arms around him and holding him close to his chest. None of them said a word for a while.

“I’m sorry,” Jaebum murmured eventually. “I shouldn’t have been so mean about Jinyoung.” Youngjae sucked in a breath. “And I shouldn’t have read your texts either. I’m so sorry.”

His voice cracked at the end of the sentence. Youngjae paused.

“Jaebum—”

He pulled back but Jaebum turned his head away, trying to hide his face. With tentative hands, Youngjae reached out and turned Jaebum’s face until they were looking at each other.

Jaebum’s teary eyes were something he had barely seen in all the years they had spent together, because Jaebum was one of those kids who never cried. Not even when he fell off his bicycle and landed on his face, splitting his lip open. Not even when his grandmother died. Youngjae was at a loss for what to do.

“Fuck,” Jaebum chuckled, sniffing. “I screwed up.”

“I…”

Jaebum shook his head.

“This wasn’t supposed to happen.”

“What wasn’t supposed to happen?”

“All of _this_ ,” Jaebum said, gesturing vaguely between them. “Me falling for you.”

That was absolutely nothing like what Youngjae had imagined he would feel if someone ever confessed their feelings for him. It was supposed to feel nice and warm, not bittersweet.

“I love you, Youngjae. I know we’ve never been an item and that you don’t feel the same about me, but it breaks me,” Jaebum continued. It was as if a dam had burst inside him. “I understand I have no right to claim you, and you don’t have to say anything, just let me at least say it out loud this once. I can’t hold it in anymore.”

Youngjae’s heart felt like it was being squeezed by a strong fist. He understood what Jaebum felt, even though he was sure he did not feel the same way. Still, he feared making things worse, so he stayed quiet for once. He cradled his friend in his arms until both regained their composure and pulled back to pack their respective bags.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *jumps out from behind a bush* i'm back y'all!! (≧∇≦)/
> 
> okay i know this is super late and i'm really sorry about that, i'm currently on holiday and i got caught up in real life and uni stuff! 
> 
> anyways i hope you're all still there and doing well <3 as always, thank you for sticking with me! (also sorry if this heavily feel-loaded chapter made you sad) 
> 
> ps. i am writing a [2young hogwarts au](https://archiveofourown.org/works/14929110/chapters/34585533), in case you'd like to check it out! ☆


	17. Chapter 17

Youngjae woke up long before his alarm went off. Jaebum was still in bed, sound asleep, facing away from him. His side rose and fell with each steady breath he drew. He had fallen asleep almost instantly the previous night, right after pouring his heart out onto Youngjae’s hands and leaving it there. Sighing softly, Youngjae changed into some warm clothes and left the room to get some air and maybe coffee.

The campus looked almost deserted at that hour, with the paths covered in spongy snow and leaves. Youngjae passed a few students with suitcases on his way to the coffee shop; they were probably heading home for the holidays.

Just as he was about to reach the front door of the shop, it opened and Bambam walked out, hands wrapped around a big steaming cup. Their eyes met and the younger’s face lit up slightly.

“Youngjae hyung.”

“Bambam, hey,” Youngjae greeted, actually glad to see him. “You’re not working today?”

“Nope, I finished yesterday. I’ve got a few days off now, which is nice.” Bambam approached him and gave him a hesitant look. “How have you been?”

Youngjae shrugged.

“Well, I suppose there’s been a little bit of everything going on.”

“Would you like to talk over some coffee?”

“Yeah, I think I would.”

Youngjae went to the counter and got himself a cappuccino before joining Bambam for a walk outside, since it was sunny for a change.

“I suppose you already know what happened with Yugyeom,” Youngjae ventured, to which Bambam nodded.

“He told me last night.”

“I feel so bad. Jaebum and I, well… we’re going through a hard time, you know.”

Silence fell between them, but Bambam did not let it stretch too long. He sipped his coffee and nodded.

“I know. I think I’ve known for a while.”

Youngjae looked up at him.

“What do you mean?”

“You two have been off for a while now, haven’t you? This _issue_ between you hasn’t happened recently.” Youngjae only nodded. “No offence, hyung, but I’d have to be blind not to notice. And Yugyeom, too.”

“I just don’t want to bother other people with my problems.”

“We’re not just other people. We’re your friends. And, understandably, we get upset when we realise there’s stuff going on that we didn’t know about and we just want to help,” Bambam reasoned, his voice soft. “That’s what’s going on with Yugyeomie.”

Youngjae sighed and sipped his coffee, the warmth comforting. After a moment’s hesitation, he turned to Bambam.

“Look, the thing is… I’ve met someone. And that caused some problems and misunderstandings between me and Jaebum.”

Bambam nodded, showing no signs of surprise. He looked like he already knew.

“I understand,” he replied, “but perhaps you should talk to Yugyeom about this. He’s still pretty upset.”

“Yes, I will. As soon as all of this has died down a bit.”

“Good.” Bambam smiled widely. “By the way, I met a friend of yours the other night at a party. Jackson, I think. Very nice bloke.”

“Oh? Yes, Jackson. He’s friends with a friend of mine,” Youngjae said carefully, not ready to reveal everything about Mark yet.

“So are you hanging out with the sports majors lately?” Bambam teased, gently elbowing Youngjae’s side. “Didn’t take you for the sporty type, hyung!”

“Oh, shut up,” Youngjae chuckled, pushing him to the side.

Bambam laughed and finished the rest of his coffee, checking his watch.

“I’ve got to go now, hyung. A classmate needs help with some dance steps and I offered to teach him,” he explained. “Are you going back to Mokpo for Christmas?”

“Yeah, I am,” Youngjae replied, throwing his empty cup in a nearby bin. “I’m catching the train this afternoon. Are you going home, too?”

“Nope, I’m staying in Seoul. Yugyeom invited me over to his house so I’ll spend a few days there, but I’ll return to the campus after that. I still have to work at the café.”

“I see.” Youngjae smiled. “Well, have a lovely break then.”

“You too, hyung. Make sure to text, yeah?”

“I will, I promise. You too.”

Bambam pulled him into a tight hug. Youngjae wasn’t used to such public displays of affection, although he figured it was just cultural difference. It still felt great, though, being held so affectionately. He returned the hug, patting Bambam’s back.

His phone started ringing in his pocket a few minutes after parting ways with Bambam.

“Mum, hello.”

“Youngjae, dear, how are you? Have you got everything ready?”

“Yes, it’s all packed now, don’t worry. We’re getting the four o’clock train, so I guess we’ll be there around six thirty.”

His mother seemed relieved.

“That’s good. We’re all dying to see you. Your brother and sister are already here,” she told him, “and dad’s preparing the homemade radish kimchi you love so much. He made some for Jaebum, too, we’ve given it to his mum early this morning.”

“Really? That’s great, mum,” Youngjae said, smiling fondly. “Oh, by the way, I’ve got to tell you something.”

“What is it?”

“I hope it’s not too much trouble, but I invited a friend to come over and spend the holidays with us. I didn’t tell you earlier because it was no sooner said than done, and—”

“Youngjae,” his mother chuckled, “that’s fine, dear. You can invite over whoever you want, but you should have told me earlier because now I’ll have to clean up the whole house!”

He chuckled at how stressed she suddenly sounded.

“Mum, I’m sorry!”

“You’d better be,” she joked. “When is he coming over? What’s his name? is he your classmate?”

“Mum, enough with the interrogation. His name’s Mark and he will be in Mokpo tomorrow, he’s not coming with me.”

“Mark? Is he a foreigner?”

“He’s from the US, yes. But please, don’t flood him with questions as soon as he sets foot in the house, okay?”

“Alright, alright. I’ve suddenly got tons of chores to do, so I’d better hang up now,” she told him, huffing. “See you tonight, sweetie.”

“Okay, mum. See you later, love you.”

* * *

They boarded the train at around 3:40 pm. Youngjae needed help loading his suitcase onto the rack, but had to request it from another passenger since Jaebum did not even look at him after he sat down. Their seats were not next to each other but in front of each other, with Youngjae sitting in the one behind Jaebum’s.

They had not spoken a word in the entire day. Youngjae had gone back to the dorm to finish preparing everything and had even bought some coffee for Jaebum, although all he got in response was a tiny nod of thanks. He supposed he deserved the silent treatment after all that he had put Jaebum through.

Sighing, he watched as Jaebum slipped the earphones into his ears and opened the book he was currently reading. A pang of guilt gripped his chest, but he made no attempt to reach out and break the silence. Jaebum was scary enough when he completely ignored you, he was even scarier when he was angry.

His phone vibrated in his pocket, pulling Youngjae out of his thoughts.

 _TMark: Thank you for the food today, it was delicious ^^ have a safe trip home!_ ♡

Smiling, Youngjae typed a reply.

_ARS: Thank you hyung! *v* I’m so glad we could spend some time together today!_

_TMark: Me too. I’m already dying to see you tmr_

_ARS: I miss you too already <3_

Youngjae was excited to have Mark over for Christmas, but as he glanced up at the back of Jaebum’s head, he wondered if it really had been a good idea.

* * *

It was already six forty when Jaebum and Youngjae made their way outside Mokpo’s station, the city greeting them with a light snowfall and even lower temperatures. Youngjae glanced up at the night sky, rubbing his hands together to warm them up, since he had forgot to bring a pair of gloves. His brother, Youngsik, had texted him to let him know he was picking him up at the station, but there were no signs of his car yet.

Jaebum pulled out his phone and held it to his ear, probably calling his parents. Youngjae watched as he tried a few more times until he finally got a response.

“Mum, hello,” he said, his deep voice startling Youngjae. He had almost forgotten what it sounded like. “I wanted to let you know I’m in Mokpo, just got off the train.” A pause. “No, it’s fine, I just wanted to tell you. I can walk home.”

Youngsik’s car stopped a few feet before them, the claxon making Youngjae jump. His brother exited the vehicle and rushed to meet them, enveloping Youngjae in a tight embrace.

“Little brother! It’s been so long!” he exclaimed, lifting him up in the air. Youngjae flailed his arms, trying to break free.

“Ah, stop that! People are staring!”

“Let them.” Youngsik ruffled his brother’s hair affectionately before turning to Jaebum. “Oh my god, Jaebum-ah, is that you? You’ve surely grown a lot since I last saw you!”

Jaebum bowed politely, a tight smile on his lips.

“It’s good to see you, hyung.”

“Are your parents picking you up?”

“Oh, no, I called them and they said the car is at the repair shop because it needs fixing. I can walk home, though, it’s no problem.”

“No way,” Youngjae blurted out. Both his brother and Jaebum turned to him. “I can’t let you walk home in this weather, and it’s also really dark already. Let us drive you.”

“He’s right, we live next door anyway,” Youngsik added.

Jaebum let out a small sigh of defeat.

“Alright then.”

The ride was fairly short but necessary, since it would have taken them over half an hour to get home had they gone on foot carrying their respective bags. Youngsik kept talking to Youngjae, desperate to catch up, while Youngjae simply nodded or made a comment, occasionally glancing at Jaebum through the rear-view mirror. Their eyes met briefly before Youngsik parked the car.

“So, mum told me you have a friend coming over!” he said, patting Youngjae’s shoulder. “She said he’s a foreigner, too. Where’s he from?”

Before Youngjae could reply, Jaebum flung the door open and exited the car.

“I’ll tell you later,” Youngjae said in a rush before opening the door as well.

Jaebum was opening the truck and unloading his bags, shaking his head when Youngjae’s brother offered to help.

“Thanks for driving me, hyung,” he said to Youngsik in a rather tight voice, bowing again. “Happy Christmas.”

He did not even spare a glance at Youngjae when he turned around and headed home. Youngjae’s throat tightened as he felt the snowfall growing heavier, a snowflake landing on the back of his head. He kept his eyes fixed on Jaebum’s back.

“Yeah, you too,” he heard Youngsik say. “Is everything alright, Youngjae-ah?”

Youngjae swallowed around the lump in his throat.

“Yes. Let's go in." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~~my heart aches for jb i'm so sorry~~
> 
> slightly shorter update, but at least i wanted to publish something after all this time! i'm still determined to finish this fic even if it takes me 50 years to do so lmao 
> 
> to those of you who are still reading, thank you so much, you deserve the world and ily ❤ 
> 
> also i'm looking into getting a twitter account to keep you all updated about the fics and whatnot, i'll include a link to it in my profile when it's ready (⌒‿⌒)


End file.
